Indigorayz

Return

2011-05-08T10:37:00.002+09:00

I was thinking about dates today and trying to work out when I came to oz. I was struggling.Was it 2005? , 2006? The I realised I have a blog! I have just read back a few years and found it thoroughly entertaining.I had forgotton quite a few things and really appreciated that I had documented them.
So perhaps its time to start again. I certainly have let alot of water pass under the bridge havent I!?

In brief just for now while I get back into the swing of things......

I have qualified form Uni.December 2009.
I started up my Acupuncture business.Its going really well.
I am attempting to navigate Permanant residency here in Australia.
Benji Puss is well.
I am still living in melbourne and still contemplating leaving,but for now I am doing okay.
Winter is coming - Boooooooooo.
Im drinking a nice Chai while I write this and am about to have another!
Thats all for now.
Ther will be more .

Girl..........

2009-08-30T20:20:00.003+09:00

Realised I havent blogged for a while...so in bullet points here has been my life in the last few months..........

* Girl finishes Uni.....works hard at work and on personal stuff
* Girl gets fantabulous grades at Uni and is not sure how.
* Girl starts to find a way that life works
* Girl says goodbye to love of life.
* Girl runs successful workshop
* Girls street festival nominated for national award...
* Girls street festival doesnt win national award but feels good.
* Girl starts Uni....her final semester.Yehaw
* Girl gets invitation out of blue.
Girl plucks eyebrows.She does this sometimes
* Girl goes to Broome/Derby.....Holiday,sun and nice company!
* Girl has good time,fun, and feels GOOD!
* Girl treated like princess.......yeeeeeeeeh!
* Girl is hungover ALOT.
* Girl ponders life and universe.She does this sometimes.
* Girl gets onto boat and pees in bucket and then uses same bucket to wash corn relish off her face..........not so good!
* Girl sees lots of whales and this feels good
* Girl likes her time with old friends
* Girl comes back to melbourne......no sun,only wind.
* Girl eases back into Uni
* Girl freaks out that Uni finishes soon...like 3 months
* Girl dreams of sun and nice times
* Girl goes to stupid american Rah Rah workshop (no offense americanos)
* Girl learns something from stupid Rah Rah workshop
* Girl is 100% commited to her dreams and desires.

Half way through the year already??!!

2009-07-10T19:22:00.002+09:00

I looked back on my visions for this year adn realised I have accomplished ALL of them. Well I havent completed the degree yet but a semester my friends, a tinsy winsy semester!
I am feeling so proud of myself for getting all my visions visualised! Hoorah! I guess it is true what they say! We are the creators of our world! Bring it on!
So this is what I have achieved

Good Health.I envisage resolving the headache I have had for the last 5 months- GONE apart from about a few days here and there

2. Lots of Bodywork- Have a remedial massage once a week!

3. Non escalation-I dont want to dramatise issues.I dont want to get caught up in the rising tensions of issues.I plan to observe them and not attach myself to drama.If someone wants me to attach myself to thier drama it just aint gonna happen.I am working on supporting and letting go. Myself and others.Yup, this has been a hard one but have stayed mostly on track with this.Just been reaching inside to find the stillness before I become too attatched or emotional!

4. Nurturing self. Quiet time. Time doing nothing. This nothing time often becomes reflection and inspiration time. Oh yes! I made time for me this year!

5. A healthy relationship with myself,family and friends and hey possibly even a man.The man part had been put on the back burner for sometime due to Uni and ill health,but it would be very nice to develop a relationship with a man who respects my boundaries, is independent, caring and talented in dealing with me! All of this has been achieved,long lost friends are back and relationships are looking great!

6. I will qualify this year as a Dr of Acupuncture.This is very exciting but there is alot to organise in the way of registrations and new homes and I am hoping some good time to take a break and see some long awaiting friends from afar. Wirk in progress!

7. Creating positive inner chatter. The first thing I do in the morning is set the scene for my day,I am now always looking for the good and not being dragged down with the negative! Score!

8.I have a new job!!! I am now a P.A to a succesful Hypnotherapist and business owner of "Simply Natural Therapies".This is a wonderful opportunity for me to further my experience in the field of Alternative therapies.It also means I dont work in hospitality anymore! Yehaw.....something I have been working towards for a while now! Thank you Thank you Thank you! Going Bloody well and learning more than I ever thought possible! Just love it!

9. Affluence/Abundance on all levels. It come to me everyday! I always seem to have enough!

10.Positive mental attitude about me and life.Sadly life this year has battered me around a little and its eroded away my vitality on a physical and mental level.This needs restoring. Yes,I am astounding myself on how much progress I have made this year! Watch this space...........more to come!

Two Turtle Doves

2009-06-21T17:15:00.002+09:00

I think I must be getting a bit kooky in my old age.I am obsessed with the turtle dove in my garden.
A few months ago aforementioned turtle dove had turtledove wife.Turtle dove wife was murdered by my big red puss by having its head ripped off in a most unceremonious fashion.
I have an affinity for Turtle Doves,they are monogamous and mate for life,both male and female take care of the nest and look after the young.They hang out together and keep each other warm.Its the perfect love story in my eyes,well it was til Mrs turtle dove got head ripped to pieces.
I have been feeling awful about it.Saddened that MR Turtle Dove was sad and lonely and had no-one to cuddle.
Every morning he is there sitting on his perch all on his own.

BUT about a week ago he started to get very verbal and chuffed out his chest alot,so I got excited.Me thinks there is another chick in town.........to my glee throughout this week I have watched a glorious love affair unfold between aforementioned MR turtle dove and now soon to be(I dont think hes popped the question,but am pretty sure its coming soon,cos I saw them kissing in the tree)MRS turtle dove who is small and oh so very cute!
I am so happy!
I am so relieved!
I am so wierd!

This mind of mine

2009-05-14T09:16:00.004+09:00

Sitting here pondering while I am supposed to be studying.

Im on the downhill slide now.Its so easy now.It just happens,I am not struggling with it anymore.One more semester to go.........its so very exciting and now I am entertaining my future with a little more intention.

In november I qualify.I am leaving Melbourne.That much is certain,because I deem it so.
I am already working on manifesting what that place looks like,what my work will be and how happy I will be.

A heavy cloud has been hanging over me.I am looking at returning to myself again.I have lived a stressful,busy life for almost 4 years now,and its time to take it slower.Remove the unwanted "stuff" and get lighter.

I am so grateful to my family for supporting me,but its time to move away from thier life and start creating my own.

My life looks different to thiers. I have different values and desires and ways of doing things.
Its time to start that.

Im pulling pictures of what my future looks like and holding them in my mind.

My life in the future will have time for love, time for social, time for creating my dreams and manifesting a positive life.It will have time for others and time for me to restore.

Okay back to study..........

Raise me up

2009-05-10T19:46:00.001+09:00

Raise me up
There’s no victims here,
No one to blame,
Just a maze of love that got lost in some game,
Just move in closer babe , move in.
When you gonna let it go?
When you gonna bring me home?,
When you gonna raise me up again?,
Don’t want to hang on the line and feel so bare,
Don’t wanna reach out when you’re not even there,
Can’t you see I’m waiting here so patiently?
But my resolve can’t fight much more than this,
When you gonna let it go?
When you gonna bring me home?
When you gonna raise me up again?
Can’t see the sun so bright right now
I wanna believe that it’s gonna shine down
But when I’m lost like a child,
With no hand to hold, I only see grey
When you gonna let it go?
When you gonna bring me home?
When you gonna Raise me up?
There no victim here.

When no-one is aorund............

2009-04-11T18:57:00.004+09:00

I think I was enjoying the moment and busting a move here, not insulting the band as it may appear
I dont even know this lady but who cares in the name of dance.We loved the moment!
Diggin the groove!

The house is quiet.
No children.
No Family.
No rules but my own.

Agenda??

Dance like no-one is watching.........( well NO-ONE is, perhaps except the cat)

I have realised that when it comes to me, the mirror and an empty house I am a sex kitten with an esteem of 1000 supermodels.........(hmmm is that good?) Well you kind of see what Im getting at.
Its a wonderful release.
The Music pumped loud,the toosh jiggling the smile that cant help but play across my face and the energy that I thought had upped and left years ago returns for a brief while.
Its in moments like that I wish I had followed a career in dancing.
Youre lost in the music.
The movement and the energy take over and nothing else exists.

Im sure Im not the only gal who just loves doing this.
Its better than a date out with a cute guy.....really........
Ive posted a few pics of hilarious me going into the zone at a recent party.
Silly Me!

Dreams to come to fruition..........

2009-04-05T14:06:00.002+09:00

I just looked in my bank account and I have $27.
Im a student I guess thats okay,but it does send you into a bit of a funk.
So here I am, doing a FREAKING RIDICULOUS nutrition assignment that I have no interest in but have to do..YAWN YAWN YAWN, its such a bore.
Student acupuncturists enrolling in the new course next year dont have to do it but me oh my here am I slogging away at this stupid ridiculous wretched assignment that needs referncing from primary sources every other friggin sentence and Ive read articles til they are coming out of my ears and am spending FAR FAR FAR too much time on something that I dont give a toss about.In fact I think I have written more words here bitching about it than I have actually done allllllllllllllllllll day.

Ah well, I needed a break. I have been at it since 6am (daylight svings is such a joy when your body lets you sleep in,which mine didnt.....)

Anyway I digress so far from what I wanted to write aboutthat I might as well have flown to England.

I have $27.

This starts me fantasing about when I dont have $27 anymore but when I have a little more. When affluence in a financial sense (I am so abundant in lots of other areas of my life.....)comes a knockin on my door.When student life finishes(although I am not sure I ever really do want to stop studying,but a good long break will do nicely)and I am in the market for a little more earning potential.
I am dreaming about fabulous new outfits,shoes,trips,concerts,dinner out and visits to the hairdressers,a carefree book purchase, and a better car that doesnt scare the hell out of me every time I go over 80kms because I think im gonna blow off the road.
Im even fantasising about toasters and blenders that I might purchase to make breakfast when I am no longer living under someone elses roof. OOOh and then I start thinking about all the beautiful furniture I would like to adorn my home with and all the lovely bits and pieces I will buy to make MY home MY home.
Ahhhhhhh........its so near!
So while I sit here friggin about with Lysine and referencing like a bunny rabbit on heat there are those sweet moments of pure indulgence and materialism.

Surrender

2009-03-28T06:46:00.003+09:00

The last post was a bit morbid so I wanted to update.

I sleep with 2 angels next to my bed. One rose quartz the other Amythest. They are there to remind me that I am always being backed up.There is always something bigger than me running the show.
In the morning when I remember, I open up a dialogue in my head with the guys upstairs.I ask for certain things and I hope they listen.
Its not always about asking and recieving though.There are times when I just listen.

I was reminded after a conversation with a good friend of mine a few days ago that in times of stress ( of which I have to admit are pretty constant for me due to the fact that I have a lot going on in my life , say like 12 assignments, a job, a full time degree and a health condition that always puts me in a state of back footedness)there is absolutely NOTHING to be done.Its at times like these that NON ACTION should be chosen over action and surrender adopted over control.

The universe has a plan. Its so much more loving and intelligent than I.If i just take my hands off the steering wheel and stop controlling I might allow it to see where its taking me.I just have to stop steering fro a while.

As my friend said, and I agree, how can we hear the beautiful orchestra of the angels when we are constantly talking over it.

So I am in a state of surrender.Being an observer rather than a doer and taking a break from MAKING everything okay.

I am really happy to be reminded of this lesson and it releases me from alot of what goes whirling around in my head.

Bugger

2009-03-25T10:49:00.003+09:00

I called in sick today.
I just couldnt face the day.My tummy hurts, my heart hurts and I feel flat.
Im in a tricky situation.
I havent learnt the skills to this date on how to deal with aforementioned tricky situation.
I think I have made a mistake,but thats done and nothing can change that,but,its how I move forward that is now the question.........
I have attempted to correct the mistake, but the person i need to correct it with wont let me speak to them.
In the past I would usually deal with a situation like this by just letting go.
Chasing after the problem might make it worse.
I believe this thing is too valuable to let go of.
Reactions are funny things.I told myself years ago that reacting to situations was a heinous crime.Now I find myself doing exactly that. I am human. To err is human,but how to correct your mistake is like trying to be superhuman.
I think I might just go to bed and hug my wheatbag for a while longer.
Time seems to be passing so slowly though...........

Festival and other things............

2009-03-05T07:39:00.002+09:00

I organised a street Festival.
It was a great event.SO many people came.Easily a couple of thousand.Alot of people came up to me congratulating me on my success.That part was great. What was also great was looking at the car park and seeing it filled with colour and excitement and alot of people enjoying themselves.I helped to create that.Something I can look back on and be very proud of.

The flip side of the event was the abuse that I recieved from people about the car park being closed from 3pm. One woman swore at me. Some traders were extremely pissed off,even though they had been informed several times. They couldnt seem to look past the fact that although it may be a tad quiet for an hour or two,that after that there would be a MASSIVE influx of people and that this would be HUGE for thier business. I recieved alot of negativity at the start.This didnt help my esteem, but I managed to push that away. I have now only heard good things from the traders. Some cafes sold out of everything they had...... The exposure the festival created to our community of local shops wont just be an on the night thing.It will continue for some time I think.

Anyway I was just the coordinator/facilitator for the event.What people decide after this is thier decision.

The council were impressed and offered me a bench mark as to how succeful it was,which was good,because I have never done anything like this before and had no idea of what was a good turn out.Apparently it was good! I am happy.

I am experiencing some post fetival blues at the mo.The adrenaline has subsided and its back to the norm.

On a more exciting note but not detailed.........there is a fella in the works.He is wonderful.More about that when the time is right!

Deep End

2009-02-06T16:10:00.002+09:00

As some of you may know I have just started a new job.
Its so perfect for me.
I am working in a Natural therapies environment as P.A to the owner. There is a shop and 2 clinics.
She is a clinical Hypnotherapist, who a few years ago decided to take it one step further and open a shop and then a clinic.
The business has grown faster than she could implement policies and procedures,so its a bit 'higgedly Piggedly' and she needs help.

I started just before Christmas and did 2 days training before becoming acting Clinic Manager and class coordinator while the wonderful woman who usually does this job was away on a much needed break.

My boss ( an ideas lady) mentions to me that we are doing a Street Fetival at the end of February.Its a communty Health and Happiness festival.She gives me a few things to do.............before I know it I am now coordinating a massive event with an expected turn out of 1000 people plus.

Ive organised sports clubs and dance groups and spinning wheel prizes,market stalls,first aid,pamphlets .........the list goes on.

Ive never done anything like this before. Its big.I am talking to a lot of people. Its sort of my baby.

At first I took it on with gusto.I still have gusto dont get me wrong but then suddenly it has grown to a size where its really quite major.Im proud of myself for finding out that I can do things like this.I am learning sooooooooooo much, but suddenly it seems so big that today I got quite scared.

I am responsible.

Watch this space.
27th Feb.
Think of me!

Im not Keen, but certainly interested

2009-01-27T18:58:00.005+09:00

(Blue) Nervous system
(Green) Digestive & excretory system
(Red) Circulatory system
(orange) Respiratory system
(Yellow) Reproductive system

1 Fang (chelicera)
2 Venom gland
3 Brain
4 Pumping stomach
5 Forward aorta branch
6 Digestive cecum
7 Heart
8 Midgut
9 Malphigian tubules
10 Cloacal chamber
11 Rear aorta
12 Spinneret
13 Silk gland
14 Trachea
15 Ovary (female)
16 Book lung
17 Nerve cord
18 Legs
19 Pedipalp

Today seemed to be a day where I just kept bumping into Spiders. I admit;it certainly isn't a favourite past time of mine but I couldn't help thinking there was some meaning behind it all.

Let me just clarify here. I woke up . There was a spider on my ceiling. Not too big.Easily manageable. I got to work and went to make a cuppa. Spider on the tap. Small. Kind of cute and certainly manageable. Okay , so a switch goes off in my head. Hmmm 2nd spider of the day. Interesting, but forgettable.

I drive to other office at work and pull over randomly behind a parked car to take off my thongs (shoes for those of you who are not living in Australia) which are slipping on the clutch while I drive. There dangling like a huge moster/ beauty/fine specimen of its type......whatever you would like to think of these 8 legged creatures ; is the biggest huntsman I have ever seen. Just hanging out, dangling from the tow port on the back of the car that I just happen to randomly pull in behind.NOT FORGETTABLE.

Brain is definitely now aware that spiders are the theme of the day.I make a perfunctionary vague gaze around my own car (insides of car , as there is no escaping if one decides to land on my lap or lollop onto my head while a swinging from its silky rope from my rear view mirror while I am in the act of driving at 100kms an hour, but also vague because one is not really wanting to look too hard just in case the very thought of thinking it will make it suddenly appear in front of me)

Anyway 3 sightings in a short space of time. Gets me thinking. Whats the symbolism. I get home and take a look and I find this lovely picture. Well, that one up there.
fascinating truly fascinating. Now I truly understand why I am wary of these creatures.Wouldn't you be if you realised its Trachea was in its arse????

And Malphigian tubules.............well to quote Wikipedia

Most spiders convert nitrogenous waste products into uric acid, which can be excreted as a dry material. Malphigian tubules ("little tubes") extract these wastes from the blood in the hemocoel and dump them into the cloacal chamber, from which they are expelled through the anus.[6] Production of uric acid and its removal via Malphigian tubules are a water-conserving feature that has evolved independently in several arthropod lineages that can live far away from water

And then theres the Pedipalps..................well I never................
those pincery thingy-me-bobs have a proper name...........Fascinating truly fascinating.

So I feel good. I got to know something that I disliked a little better today.

I got to know something that scares me, and maybe wont scare me so much the next time......... if I can rationalise that its an 8 legged creature with Pedipalps, ovaries and Malphigian Tubules............I won't hold my breathe but it was still fascinating!

The year

2009-01-07T08:45:00.010+09:00

Its not a resolution.
I dont do resolutions!
I have decided to rename them VISIONS.
My visions for the upcoming year

1. Good Health.I envisage resolving the headache I have had for the last 5 months.

2. Lots of Bodywork-I am severly lacking in good therapeutic touch.

3. Non escalation-I dont want to dramatise issues.I dont want to get caught up in the rising tensions of issues.I plan to observe them and not attach myself to drama.If someone wants me to attach myself to thier drama it just aint gonna happen.I am working on supporting and letting go. Myself and others.

4. Nurturing self. Quiet time. Time doing nothing. This nothing time often becomes reflection and inspiration time.

5. A healthy relationship with myself,family and friends and hey possibly even a man.The man part had been put on the back burner for sometime due to Uni and ill health,but it would be very nice to develop a relationship with a man who respects my boundaries, is independent, caring and talented in dealing with me!

6. I will qualify this year as a Dr of Acupuncture.This is very exciting but there is alot to organise in the way of registrations and new homes and I am hoping some good time to take a break and see some long awaiting friends from afar.

7. Creating positive inner chatter.

8.I have a new job!!! I am now a P.A to a succesful Hypnotherapist and business owner of "Simply Natural Therapies".This is a wonderful opportunity for me to further my experience in the field of Alternative therapies.It also means I dont work in hospitality anymore! Yehaw.....something I have been working towards for a while now! Thank you Thank you Thank you!

9. Affluence/Abundance on all levels.

10.Positive mental attitude about me and life.Sadly life this year has battered me around a little and its eroded away my vitality on a physical and mental level.This needs restoring.

Okay thats enough to be going on with. I have fixed these things in my mind and have put them out there. This is going to be a big year for me. Lots of endings and some bloody big beginnings!
Happy Happy New Year!

Update

2008-10-08T12:23:00.004+09:00

WARNING- a cathartic post ahead.

My head is still not good.Some may say its always been a little odd anyways.

Its been 10 weeks.

I hate taking the medications(many) but I am petrified of coming off them.Nobody is telling me to mind you.
I feel like I have lost a part of myself to this thing. It takes over everything.
I am waiting for an epiphany,an understanding of why I have this affliction.I dont want to be a victim to it.As of yet the only thing I can come up with is that I need to slow down.
I have.
Its still here.
So I keep searching for the key that will unlock the door to understanding.

I understand the pathophysiology of this thing.I understand physically what is going on but to me there is more to this thing.A lesson not yet learnt and when I do it will disappear as quickly as it came.
Another thoery I am playing with right now is that the pain is literally breath taking.
Perhaps if I can release something that I have pushed down deep inside ,a painful experience or event that the pain will go.What in me or my past (the same thing in my mind) has been so painful that I have manifested this.
Im working on this.
I have alot of help.
Im trying EVERYTHING.
I cant live like this,but I am.

My Head.........

2008-09-13T09:37:00.003+09:00

Okay its really not great news..........
I have been ill.REALLY ill.Its been going on now for six weeks.The good news Ill be okay.The bad news.....we dont know if or even when I will get better........... Hmmmm....positive bunny arent I? but then to be honest I have been through hell.

The short of it is that I have a Neuralgia in my face and head. Migrainous or trigeminal or glossopharangeal...........we are not sure.What I am sure of is the excruciating debilitating pain that I have been in.Its been likened to giving birth several times a day but the pain is in your head.I am now no longer afraid of labour.
I have been to see dentists,doctors and now specialists.I am currently on epilepsy medications to stabilise the nerve membranes in my head and this has helped tremendously.I am now no longer struck down suddenly with excruciating stabbing pain and reduced to a flood of tears (not through fear through pain)Instead now I get good days and bad days where my head hurts worse than others.Im not great to be around these days.
I have been allowed to reduce my college load and I am trying to rest and get well.
I have had heaps of support from friends and family which has been a wonderful reminder that no man is an island and I couldnt have done any of this without them.I would have probably topped myself from the pain.
Im trying to gather lessons from this and certainly am not stuck in poor me mode or even why me mode,I think I am now in the mode where I have to try and make sense of it all surrender to it and pray that it remisses.

Bird in a a bag

2008-07-22T10:55:00.002+09:00

In the morning he brought me mouse.
In the afternoon he brought me magpie .
In the evening he brought me a pink canary in a plastic bag....
Why oh why I didnt take a picture I do not know but how on earth did my sweet little boy find a pink canary in a ziplock bag???
I can only imagine that some unsuspecting individual experienced the passing of thier dear sweet bird and put it on the front step to bury in the garden only to return and find there had been a body snatching incident.
I know for fact that he couldnt have pilfered it from a bin as all our bins out here are tall wheely bins with lids,so unless benji has developed the fine art of lifting lids it didnt happen that way.
I guess I should have posted some notes around the neighbourhood informing of dear sweet pink canary in ziplock bag found in the jaws of dear sweet ginger puss but I was too busy laughing ............

Consipitation

2008-07-19T12:07:00.002+09:00

No,Its not a spelling mistake but a rather endearing way that my radical, highly regarded Chinese professor refers to constipation.I am well into my cinics at this stage in the game.
This entails running the acupuncture clinic as a group of students and seeing clients from the "outside". Its all very exciting.
For every client we see we have to take a detailed case study and then consult with our chinese professor. He is an interesting man.He has over 40 years experience in the field and as well as extensive research , a clinic he runs in Collins street (a highly priced business district),and a passion for stamp collecting,he finds the time to teach in Victoria University and with us.He cured himself of a stroke with acupuncture and still seems to chuff rather alot of cigarettes,but he knows his stuff.
When he inserts a needle the air in the room seems to stop.I find myself holding my breath and standing there waiting....not quite sure what im waitng for or even if I am ,perhaps I am just in awe. He can see and feel qi like its a solid entity and can tell when its shifted and when something is better.He can cure a muscle ache with one needle in 5 minutes.He has cured chronic shoulder problems with a needle in the leg manipulated for 10 minutes.Hes cured cancer.He pays no heed to our rather conservative ways of treating and will happily needle deeply into organs...something I still quite havent got my head round and makes me feel somewhat sick,but it works,he gets results,and isnt that what people want when they are sick??
Ive decided not to do an internship in china.Purely financial.If I had the cash I would but I dont and so I wont and thats okay,but when I have Dr Zhou why the hell do I need too???

It cant be......

2008-06-26T08:17:00.002+09:00

Holy craperoooooooo............I just looked at my blog and realised it had been 6 months since my last post.Bless me father for I have sinned.
Where did the time go??? I feel like I have entered Dr whos tardis and now here I am thinking to myself what happened while I was flip flopping around up here in my head,which is where I spend most of my time these days.
To top it all off I find out Miss Sins love has had TB and Arumanda is in gay pareeh.these are only 2 of the people that I like to watch as they progres along in life..........Im not sure that anyone is even reading this...........you may all think I have gone, disappeared into magical head land never to return from the ocean of acupuncture points and disease processes.
No I am here.......
Just about
Just finished a round of very intense exams and now am about to head into winter school.I have finally made it into clinics and am practising on the general public.I am almost there ! Another year and you can call me Dr.
I have 2 jobs that nearly make up full time hours and a full time degree.Oh its hard but I just do it and find very little time for anything else in my life! Nothing of import to impart.........unless of course I find a creative way of imparting all of this knowledge that I am accumulating up here in my ever expanding brain.....
Let me think on that one.
For the most part I am well and happy but self absorbed,so apologies........I will try harder.

Same same but different.........

2007-12-22T10:40:00.000+09:00

This happened last year..........something in the stars?........a new year clean out? ..........or just coincidence???
I quit the job I have been in for 2 years.I found another one the same day! Hooray! A very chilled place with great people and much more my thing!At long last I am appreciated.It was a healthy decision.A similar thing happened last year where I lost my job around the same time.Odd.
Benji puss is sick.He has skin cancer on his nose.Its treatable,but hes in discomfort and thats just no fun for the little guy...its going to cost me a fortune.Same thing happened at the same time last year.......he got sick and cost me a fortune?!
What is going on???

Dating games

2007-12-21T10:59:00.000+09:00

So Im dating.
After seattle boy I decided it was time to dust off the cobwebs and get myself out there and noticed.
Study can lessen a little but this girl needs to go get some loving.
Ive never really "Dated" before.Ive always just met someone hooked up and so the story goes and here I am several long term relationships later.........nothing wrong with that.Its just the way it goes.Serial monogamist.But things are different now.I want to do some window shopping and try on a few different outfits before I make a purchase.
So there was singles party boy- Kiwi,very keen,wanted to monoploise me,bombarded me with texts and affirmations of how cool I was.Not interested.
The there was British boy- nice guy,wanted to talk about the Uk alot.I left there a long time and all the talk of it made me feel terribly depressed.Again texts and affirmations of desire.Not interested
Next was Media boy-He was cute.We talked alot about travelling,told me that if I saw any of his friends not to mention we met online.......wierd.Its such a viable way of meeting people these days.Again not interested.Told him so and I dont think he was that into me either so all cool.
Then we had psycho boy- Child psycologist,eyes like a vampire,looked nothing like his pic and scared the hell out of me.i think it was when his eyes followed the only people with kids out of the restaurant that I thought NO youre just ot right.The mention of a little walk after dinner also freaked me out.........would I like to see him again???? No.No messing just a plain straight no.He can handle it no freudian analysis there.
Next up is who I call second chance boy- Went on a date .He analysed the hell out of me and incorrectly.Found myself just wanting to go home and hide under the duvet.Emailed him the next day to say sorry no chemistry,to which he replied that he really thought I shoudl give him a second chance.........hmmmmmmm.........No.another reply....thats a shame please reconsider?I think to myself that this guy is brave so accept another date.
Now for the best one- Sydney boy-told him in no uncertain terms that hes in sydney and Im in melbourne.No harm talking he responds.Okay.2 months later after alot of talking and instant messaging we meet.Have a great weekend.Lots of chemistry,lots of fun.I like him.He lives in Sydney.Go figure.He is also still in love with ex girlfriend.Not willing to go there.Accuses me of falling in love with him and not to go there.....okay buddy unstick the tickets.I like you but it was just a weekend.Would do it again but feel slightly cheated.
Oh and here comes second chance boy again-this date was alot more relaxed,we had fun,not sue about the chemistry,but we can be friends and you can never have enough of those.........he wants to take me out to a fabulous italian ...okay accept date 3...which is to be continued.
And so the games continue...........and Im still dating..........

remember me?

2007-12-03T07:33:00.000+09:00

Hey there everyone!

Remember me!?
You have a few guesses to guess where Ive been but most of you will know that it has been that time of year where head goes down, bum goes up and the world ceases to exist unless you can find it in a text book or Uni notes.........
Its over.......I have 3 glorious months of no Uni and time to get a life!
Exams were a different experience for me this semester...I would still use adjectives such as "stressful" "painful" and "draining" but I seem to have reached a stage where instead of trying to get High Distinctions or distinctions,I am just content to pass.The balance needs to be struck and the hair needs to stay on my head! Up until now it has..........touch wood and 500 hail marys.........Im still pretty sure Ive aged 10 years in the last month but nothing that a few good sleeps wont sort out and some TLC.......
So i have some things to blog.alot of things! Lovelife stories,work stories,made up stories..........and then theres Christmas.That kind of crept on me! Finished my exams and i recieved a Christmas card......oh,Christmas,yes! thats happening!
so keep watching folks and hopefully I can catch you up on all my news!

Remains

2007-10-06T22:55:00.000+09:00

So.........Its been a wierd couple of months.Extreme highs followed by what I first percieved to be an extreme low! You know the kind.Hard to get out of bed,feel like a sack of potatoes,no one loves me,end of the garden ,worm eating and general beating up on oneself.
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!

Reality check..........
1. I made myself vulnerable.What this really means is I have been open and honest with my feelings and who I am! I love that!

2.I am lonely.What this really means is that I am so focused on my dreams and goals that I havent made time for anything else in my life......I can work on that!

3.I am not worthy.eh hem.I ended it because I believed I am worth more than what I was recieveing and the result was the revealtion that I was right!

4.I miss intimacy-kind of the same as the above and again something I am working on.Its not a bad thing to miss intimacy but I can seek it in all kinds of ways.Self,friends,pets and spirit.

5.I will never find what I am looking for.Yes I will.I just need to be patient.It is my right to be happy and fufilled.

So those are a few things I wrangled with this week.I have worked through them all and come out on top.I am moving forward positively.I am radiant even.
This girl will not be beat,or pulled down by lifes little upsets! She will always work through them and seek the positive and then seek to action them.
It all feel rather good!

GOODBYES

2007-10-01T21:51:00.000+09:00

The dream,and it seems it was just a dream,is dashed.I think I had a lucky escape.

"Men like
women who don't color their hair, don't wear lots of
make up and who are comfortable with what God gave
them. This is who I am going to marry. Its what all
men truly seek in a woman.

The world is not as it once was. Women have forgotten
how to be women. They have forgotten how to be able to
raise a family and run a house. They no longer know
how to iron a simple shirt, to sew a ripped hem, or
bake a cake on Sunday afternoon. They no longer know
how to hang up laundry on a washing line... the simple
thing in life that are so over looked, yet so
important. To listen to a husband after a long days
work and run him a bath and bring him a cup of tea or
a glass of wine before dinner."

I have read this many times.I am still reeling at the fact that I didnt pick any of this up.
I am also truly disappointed that I now have to go back to the drawing board and start the search again........hell.........I do pick them.......but what a lucky escape.Is this truly what a man wants????

He rose again!!!

2007-09-25T17:50:00.000+09:00

And after the 3rd day he rose again!
Only after a few days of disposing of the old and rather dearly departed bunny rabbit,(actually its still sitting in my draw while I decide exactly HOW TO dispose of it in a house where I live with my aunt,uncle and 2 kids........suggestions kindly welcome)I came home today to find a parcel on my bed!I love suprises! Especially parcel suprises but not in my wildest dreams did I anticipate that a VERY VERY KIND benefactor would take pity on my loss and understand the financial strife of a student and send me a BRAND NEW shiny rabbit!!!!!!!!It buzzes and lights and twirls and even has a cute bunny rabbit face!LUCKY LUCKY ME!!!!Give it and me some more time and it might even have other tricks up its sleeve!..........and so my dearest readers,I thank you for your sympathy at what was a very sad time,but as fickle as I am, old has been replaced with new and I am no longer grieving but grooving!
THANK YOU KIND BENEFACTOR

The 5 stages of grief.

2007-09-21T17:52:00.001+09:00

Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening." As she pressed the "on" button of her Rabbit and the red light didnt flicker a flicker or make a peep of a noise.

Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible") In this case the duracell batteries that leaked all over the inside of the battery compartment that have now casued my beloved to die

Bargaining: "Just let me live to see it buzz and twirl one more time." Surely if I clean it out replace the batteries it will work again...........Please I will do anything if you just make the light light and the buzz,buzz.

Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?I have no money to buy a new one,it was the only thing that kept me sane" Being a student sucks.Do I now have to down grade to a pocket version.?

Acceptance: "It's going to be OK." Ill put some money away each week until I can afford to buy a new one .I will use my hairbrush or any penis shaped object! Its okay,Im creative.Fuck it!

A little more.............

2007-08-29T10:03:00.001+09:00

Okay girls...I hear what you are saying. But bear with me for a while!
We met some 5 years ago.In thailand.Just before I went to Tokyo.It was a sliding door moment.I was strongly attracted to him but was heading to Tokyo to be with "he who must not be named".I remained faithful,but was curious about this man.He asked me to come with him when he left the island I was staying on(less than 24 hours after we met)..........I said no and as I watched him leave I was kicking myself that I had not followed this up.He sayed in touch with me and would call me frequently in Tokyo........we lost touch when he got shitty with me for staying with "he who must not be named" when it was obvious that I was allowing myself to be completely disrespected.But I was blinded by love and carried along.........we all know that story anyways and its past and gone.
Okay so long story short we were in and out of touch for some time and recently back in touch.When he doscovered I was in Oz and single and my spirit willing he hopped on a flight and whisked me away to the whitsundays.
It was a beautiful week and much needed on both our parts.We had great fun and lots of cocktails!
He has met all my family and friends here.He is now on a trip to the U.K and is going down to see the folks.Nothing seems to phase him.He seems to know what he wants.
I cant give you anymore than that girls..........we are now in a position where he lives in Seattle and I in Melbourne.I am just taking it one day at a time.If it is then it is and if it isnt it isnt and we shall see what the passage of time brings.Way too many dissppointmets in my life romantically to allow myself to abandon myself completely.

Fairy tales???

2007-08-24T12:54:00.000+09:00

I have just got back from being in Queensland for a week.Lots of sunshine and relaxation.You may ask why I was off doing this kind of thing when I should have been working and studying hard!
Well it had to do with a man.Someone that has pursued me off and on for 5 years.We finally got it together and he travelled 9 thousand miles from seattle to melbourne and whisked me away to sunny lands so that we could spend some good time together!
Sounds romantic huh??? It was. Where to from now???? Plans of seattle and other stuff on the horizon.........who knows.Just watch this space.

Lights! camera and action!!!!!!

2007-07-19T11:31:00.000+09:00

Had a beautiful morning with my nephews the other morning.A moment in time when we were lost in pure fantasy and fun.The innocence of thier little beings caught up in the magic of the surrounds. We played castles under my duvet.Played hide and seek,we danced like crazy banchees around my room beating my drum.We played scary monsters and played with my camera! It was the highlight of my week........Here are some of the pics that they took!

"No ordinary morning "by chicane.

2007-07-19T11:27:00.000+09:00

I knew .
The moment that I hit the sand and saw your face twist .
It was lost.
I held on tight
But it was lost
I would have walked
I would have packed my bag and disappeared
I followed for a while
But you are gone now
And I am happy.............

Life coaching.

2007-07-19T11:09:00.000+09:00

In japan I had a friend who was a life coach.He invited me to look further into it,but at the time I was wrapped up with moving and making new pathways for myself.So it stayed in the back vault of my mind for some time.

I believe that what you need comes to you time and time again until you take it up.Well it came back to me right here in little ol Oz in the restaurant I work in.
A friend of mine has just completed her training and asked me to be a client of hers for 6 weeks.She has to complete a certain amount of hours before she is fully qualified.I chuckle to myself at the strangeness of the universe,no,not the strangeness but the wonder of it always being consistent in its offerings.
So I have had 5 sessions with her and it has been such a rewarding process.In the last couple of months I have managed to move from being stuck in fear over several aspects of my life(work,study,love,self) to being able to tangibly (is this a word??) act out my dreams and desires for self.
Its not counselling.I am not going in and venting my angers, fears and frustration,but working with and actively trying to shift blocks to success.Rather than mentally staying in the mind ,you are asked to go one step further and put it into action.This call to action really suits me.I always rise to a challenge and love setting myself positive goals,but this moves you into setting the goal,overcoming challenges(lack of money,energy,confidence) and not allowing them to be blocks and enables you to seek solutions to the block and finally achieve that which you thought you couldnt.
My father used to say to "sarah,there is no such thing as cant.Its wont" I can see that he was right.Anything is possible.It just depends wether we believ it to be so and then ACT on that.It takes energy but is so rewarding.

Exams

2007-07-19T11:04:00.000+09:00

I dont quite know how I did it.I was in a sea of fog and my head felt heavy and unclear.I was certain that I had done JUST enough to pass.It seems I have very little faith in my abilities.A familiar theme.
I managed 6 distinctions and a credit!
The relief is tangible and now I can really try and relax before I head back in a week and a half.
Its so rewarding!

Exhale and reconnect...........

2007-06-28T12:49:00.000+09:00

Pheweeeeeeeee.....Its been a massive 6 weeks.I had my folks here for a couple of weeks and wonderful!But no study. Then finals! Head down and bum up and hold my breath for a lot longer than I think is humanly possible.
Had some good exams and some shockers too, my mind set had to change alot for these exams.I didnt have the time to do brilliantly.I had the time to pass.It felt uncomfortable and still does but as I keep hearing around the place Ps make degrees,so lets hope I managed the Ps.There was one exam where I am not sure that I even did that but lets wait and see.
So know here I am bereft of study and a whole lot of time on my hands for the next month.It will fly by ,and is such a joy not to have to wake in the morning with a work load that never ends.
Plan to get strong in the next month.Pull in the abs and lift up the bum that has become chair shaped!

Those 5 little things

2007-05-12T09:53:00.000+09:00

This is a bit tricky because there are some things people know and some that dont.....I will try to dazzle you with some real dingers!

MEN: I can safely say that I dont trust men at all.Not in the slightest.Not married not single,not bi-sexual,BUT I seem to be able to trust gay men........the ones that I fully take on as my friends and develop friendships with anyways.

MASKS AND COLOURED CONTACT LENSES:Get away from me if you have either of these.I am extremely phobic of both.I like to be able to look into your eyes.....your real eyes! or see your facial expression.I dont like it when Halloween comes around and everyone wears masks.It freaks me out! Not because they are scary and hideous looking ,purely because I cant see who you really are.......

RABBITS AND GUINEA PIGS:Not a great fan.I was glad when my rabbit died.She was the devil incarnate and ever since I have really steered clear,unless of course they are small babies and ever so cute and that I can hand thenm back and not have to deal with thier stinking hutches.Never really got guinea pigs either...would happily run one over or stick it with a couple of acupuncture needles.Tell me......what is thier purpose on this planet?? To make annoying squeaky noises and piss me off??? Doing a good job!

SEX:The best moment of sex is when its all done and dusted and the pumping and grinding is over and there is a profound state of relaxation.Noises are clearer and I love to just lie and listen to evrything around me.Breath,birds in trees,passing cars,the sounds of far off voices,the sound of the ocean.........

BEFORE I DIE: I want to fly in a hot air balloon,visit South America,and the maldives,Have a child,Fall in love and get married,have my own business,own a house by the beach,own a saab convertible,visit the dalai llama,learn the art of Tantra, travel with my children at a young age.

Forgotten lines........

2007-04-11T08:40:00.000+09:00

I had a really strange night of dreams last night and I cant fathom out what they all mean.
Firstly all my teeth fell out.I have had this dream before.I am standing in front of a mirror and I gat a chalky taste in my mouth and my teeth slowly disintegrate in my mouth......all of them.This happened last night,but to add insult to injury i found an old piece of jewellry hanging from one of my tonsils.It had gone green with verdigris.The jewellry was a butterly earring.
As I was wondering what to do about lost teeth ,planning a trip back to the U.K for false teeth I realised that I was in a show.I turned up for dress rehearsal feeling like I have never been to a rehearsal before and cant remember any of my lines.I feel like I was at rehearsals at the start of the show but somewhere along the line I have skipped many many rehearsals and not been there,but no-one seems to have noticed I havent been present .I fumble and panic.I tell the director I need the script.I am having a bad day.My teeth have fallen out I tell him and it seems to have affected my memory.I promise to learn the lines......ALL of them before the show tommorow.He is okay with that......I return to my home and am told that its a dump and jack Nicholson will move me into an old terraced cottage that it far more ameniable and the rent is next to nothing.
I wake up........
I have no idea what it all means,even though writing ot out helps.

Little MR and MISS.

2007-04-08T12:07:00.000+09:00

I dont know why I have been thinking about the Mr.Men over the last few days but I have!Its not like I have a whole heap of time on my hands.......
Anyways here is my question........feel free to comment.I love comments! It makes me feel loved and like people are actually reading this thing.You can remain anonymous!

OKAY !!! THE QUESTION
IF YOU WERE A MR OR LITTLE MISS WHICH ONE WOULD YOU SAY YOU WERE,AND WHICH ONE WOULD YOU SAY OTHERS WOULD PUT YOU AS........???
Oh and if there is a Mr or little miss that you wanna make up then hey, go ahead!!!

As for me I think people might call me either little miss chatterbox or some might say little Miss scary!
I am going to make up my own for how i would describe myself.Little miss sensitive,but not in a princess sensitive way if you get my drift!!!!!!!

Ciao for now

Little Miss All-goes-Well
Little Miss Bad
Little Miss Birthday
Little Miss Bossy
Little Miss Brainy
Little Miss Brilliant
Little Miss Busy
Little Miss Busy-Body
Little Miss Careful
Little Miss Chatterbox
Little Miss Christmas (Little Miss series)
Little Miss Contrary
Little Miss Curious
Little Miss Dotty

Little Miss Fickle
Little Miss Fun
Little Miss Giggles
Little Miss Greedy
Little Miss Helpful
Little Miss Jealous
Little Miss Late
Little Miss Laugh
Little Miss Lucky
Little Miss Magic
Little Miss Naughty
Little Miss Neat
Little Miss Prim
Little Miss Quick
Little Miss Scary
Little Miss Scatterbrain

Little Miss Selfish
Little Miss Shy
Little Miss Somersault
Little Miss Splendid
Little Miss Star
Little Miss Stella
Little Miss Stubborn
Little Miss Sunshine (children's books character)
Little Miss Tidy
Little Miss Tiny
Little Miss Trouble
Little Miss Twins
Little Miss Vain
Little Miss Whoops
Little Miss Wise
Little Miss Yes
*
Mr. Men
M
Mr. Birthday
Mr. Bounce
Mr. Brave
Mr. Bump
Mr. Busy
Mr. Chatterbox
Mr. Cheeky
Mr. Cheerful
Mr. Christmas
Mr. Clever
Mr. Clumsy
Mr. Cool
Mr. Crosspatch
Mr. Daydream
Mr. Dizzy
Mr. Forgetful
Mr. Funny
M cont.
Mr. Fussy
Mr. Good
Mr. Greedy
Mr. Grumble
Mr. Grumpy
Mr. Happy
Mr. Impossible
Mr. Jelly
Mr. Lazy
Mr. Mean
Mr. Messy
Mr. Mischief
Mr. Miserable
Mr. Muddle
Mr. No
Mr. Nobody (Mr. Men)
Mr. Noisy
Mr. Nonsense
Mr. Nosey
M cont.
Mr. Perfect
Mr. Quiet
Mr. Rude
Mr. Rush
Mr. Silly
Mr. Skinny
Mr. Slow
Mr. Small
Mr. Sneeze
Mr. Snow
Mr. Strong
Mr. Tall
Mr. Tickle
Mr. Topsy-Turvy
Mr. Uppity
Mr. Worry
Mr. Wrong

A nicer note.........

2007-04-06T11:32:00.000+09:00

Its good Friday! I am giving myself the day off and am heading into the city to have lunch with some friends and then head out to a bar someplace.
Its deadly quiet out here in the suburbs........am hoping there is more life in the city!!!!!!
Happy Easter everyone!

Damn it........

2007-04-06T11:27:00.000+09:00

After months of cultivating new hair I have just discovered another small patch of hair has come out!
I think possibly because of the past 10 days and the attitude of some of my co-students.I cant blame them for the hair loss but I can try and do something about how I respond to it.
FUCK FUCKEDY FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Yin and Yang

2007-04-06T09:35:00.000+09:00

The possibility for a person to exist on "generalized" opposites is something I have been giving alot of thought to.
Let me elaborate.I often hear people say they wouldnt say boo to a goose and yet it is these very same people that will go right ahead and do a bungy jump with carefree abandonement and no hesitation.I have seen people who are painfully shy explode into a torrent of hialrious stories and gesticulations.What I am trying to get at here and not particularly well is that we are not black and white always .There are shades of grey.There is no particular mould that we have to fit into....unless of course we desperatly want to "fit in".We are not predictable ,or able to be compartmentalized into this or that .Shy and sensitive,outgoing and strong. Weak and shy,quiet and introverted.Loud and extrovert.
I am trying to move away from these genearlizations at the moment and look at the elemnts of each individual that make them what they are and try not to make a judgement on that person or sum them up in a few words. We are colourful individuals,with a rainbow of attributes and cascade of expressing them. I also believe that it is impossible to make a judgement on an individual that is finite.We are constantly brightening or dulling our rainbows and our ways of expressing them.

SPEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!

2007-04-01T09:28:00.000+09:00

I realised that I had completed overlooked the speed dating that I did 2 weeks ago!

It was fun!
I was nervous as hell before going in.Managed to get myself and the 2 girls I went with a little lost but we got there in one piece!

Before heading to the venue the girls and I met up to discuss how it was going to go.One of my friends had experienced speed dating before so enlightened us with how it might go.We sat and discussed what questions we might ask to make the most of the 6 minutes that you have to spend with each guy.

A few of mine:

Whats your most valuable possession?? (material/spiritual/emotional)
If you were a vending machine what would you vend?
Where would you like to see yourself in 5 years?
If you were an animal what would you be, and why?

So after getting myself suitably worked up we finally mananged to make to the venue(inclusive of tripping up the wrong street for about 10 minutes,until my aunt came to the rescue witht he proper address after a rather panicky phone call from myself!)

So we arrived.
First impressions were........I dont wanna do this! I just wanna go to a bar and get drunk!
12 tables lay in the room with numbers and paper laid on the table....
The host introduced herself and the girls were told to go and pick a table to sit at.
The men were told to do the same ,but would be the ones moving from table to table.
Bell rings and you start talking.Bell rings and you stop and move on.
It was suprising how quickly the 6 minutes went.Although I didnt necessarily want to date certain individuals again ,it was nice chatting and seeing what was out there.
I met a few really nice guys that I would like to get to know better b4 considering wether I would like to get in a relationship with them.
I am in no hurry to make any decisions.I would just like to enjoy the process and get out there and meet some guys......
I would definately speed date again.It was fun and a great way to meet men/and women too!

Hold on tight now!............weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........

2007-03-31T11:01:00.000+09:00

Phew........seems its not my week this week.......I feel tired ,drained and have cried alot.......
So this morning I picked myself off my floor and went for a drive to find a tree......a strong tree! One that could just give me some strengnth and grounding!
I havent sat with a tree for a long time and it felt really good! I got clear really quickly!
Thank you tree!

Ritual

2007-03-30T11:52:00.000+09:00

Ritual.......what does this word mean to a lot of people???
Some I guess might think it has religious connotations ,others might think it is something devilish,sexual,devious,some perhaps think light and power enhancing.
Today I decided that after the last few days that I need a personal clearing and my space needed a bit of a cleanse too.
Some months ago I purchased a sage and lavender stick for this very purpose.Native American Indians used them often to invoke spirit for healing and cleansing.
I wouldnt say that I am a kooky kinda gal but I do have my moments,and when I thought about doing this ritual it led me to take a look at what it was about.
For me it wasnt so much about the ritual or the smudge stick.It was the intention and taking a moment to focus on that .I very often dont take time out in my life to perform rituals, and it occured to me that it is really important to make time for them in my life everyday so that I can set the direction that I want my life to take and the energy I want to put out there into the world.
I have recently started to meditate every day at least for 10-20 minutes,but often this ritual gets cast aside under a desk full of study notes and I know that I am cheating myself of a valuable tool.
Intention of thought for me is very powerful.It can harm and it can heal.
In acupuncture we talk sometimes about a point that is more about intention than necesarily its indication or function but can be equally powerful.
So I have decided that I am going to develop more ritual in my life........
anyone out there have any rituals that the perform that they find valuable then let me know! I would love to hear.
And now I feel cleansed and my room clear I am off to do some study!!!!!!!

Shaken not stirred...........

2007-03-28T15:37:00.000+09:00

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Yet again I find myself in conflict.I am obviously needing to learn a lesson here,either that or I have a big red beacon that is invisible to me but apparent to every conflict seeking bitch on the planet which squeals out ......vent on me,vomit your venomous tongue upon me,lay your shit on me..........WHAT THE FARK!
I am trying very hard to not take this latest event to heart.It was a very rude encounter and one that reeked of hatred rather than resolution. This part is the part that frutrates me the most.I beleive that if there is conflict ultimately there should be resolution,so upon opening myself up to allowing this as a possibility I found I sit here pondering how to go forward with this situation........Firstly I beleive that I need to look inwards and see if there is anything I can do to adjust the situation within myself.Look at some of my personality traits and see if they have contributed to this situation.Are they ones I can change?? Are they ones I WANT to change.I have sat with this a bit today and have come up with a few ideas.
Firstly If anyone tries to get in my face like that again,I will tell them firmly and respectfully to get out of my space and take thier shit to someone who wants to listen.Secondly I would suggest that if they would like to TALK about whats bothering them rather than rant,then I am here to listen.Thirdly not everyone i going to like me.This is a hard one for me,but one I have to come to terms with.Fourthly I am not always going to say ,do or behave in the right way.I am a strong,vital woman with certain beliefs.They are always up for discussion,and always open to being challenged.But not everyone is the same as me or thinks the same way as me,so I must be sensitive to this.Perhaps listen more to what they person is saying to me.........
So I have stepped out of this situation shaken,a little ruffled somewhat nervous about seeing this person again,but clear about it all.
The End.

Outside ,In

2007-03-19T20:04:00.000+09:00

Today I felt on the outside looking in.I very rarely feel like that, but it always shows I am feeling insecure.I felt like the world was happily revolving irrelevant of my existence and almost happily without it.I wanted to reach out for a while and say "look at me.notice me.Love me please" .
I admonished myself for being weak and then berated myself for not allowing myself for accepting these moments of insecurity.I couldnt win today and nothing I did , said or acted made a difference.Its 100% okay to be sensitive .Its part of what makes me,but sometimes I wish I wasnt so..........

Cupping !

2007-03-15T20:08:00.000+09:00

Well here we go!!!! Its time to fasten your seat belts and get ready for lift off,its time to insert needles ,suction cups,scrape and hammer all in an effort to get that good ol qi moving how it should.......basically freely , and ,in the right the direction!
Here is me cupping for the first on the lovely Miguel who is my therapeutics partner!
I was slightly nervous as cupping involves the juggling of fire and glass cups and skin! It all went well and I was really happy with the result! The more "Sha"that comes up the better and as you can see from the 2nd pic there was a lot of sha! Although it looks sore it doesnt hurt a bit and basically in TCM philosophy is ridding certain areas or organs of stagnation by draging the cups over the body which has been vacuum sucked on by the aid of fire within the cup.......feels good.

33 Looming.

2007-03-15T09:55:00.000+09:00

33 is looming next wednesday and I am curious to see how it pans out over the year! 32 was all about commitmnet to study and lots of challenges on all levels.
This year I would like to focus and set goals in other directions!
First up is have to a bit more ME time add a little fun,some man action and some femininity. One of my gay friends here says that"I do THINGS to him that no woman has done before" I guess I should take that as a compliment but really I am not in the market for a gay boyfriend or even a Bi boyfriend.I am looking for a nice solid man with fabulous morals and ethics.Likes to look outside the box and is kind and gentle.
So with that in mind I have decided to celebrate the turn of my 33rd year with a bit of speed dating.Never done it before,but I reckon it will be a hoot as long as I dont have to date 12 ugly men with ugly personalities I should be fine.No! I m not shallow ,but I do know what I want,and seeing as I have so little time on my hands this seems to be the most convinient way to meet men who want to meet girls!
Watch this space!

Theres a rat in my bedroom what am i gnna do????

2007-03-01T21:09:00.000+09:00

Hoorah ! I am back to Uni ! I likey! I now have a goal and a purpose again! I loved being able to restore all my energy after many stressful exams and experiences .I loved resting and waking in the morning with not much to do! I loved sleeping in!

First 2 days were great! But yesterday went a bit awry! Rushing to the bus stop found me flat on my face as foot hit kerb and body went reeling...........I thought i was going to right myself but it didnt happen and I went on going ! I underestimated the damamge as I got right back up again with heavy book,drink,lunch filled rucksack to dash to my bus.........later that afternoon I started to experience tight nervey pain down my right arm,left leg felt crampy.
Finished lesson ,hopped or should I say hobbled onto the bus and went straight to work.By 10 pm I was feeling seriously damaged and crippled.Turning my head to the left was not only painful but gave me painful nerve sensatons down my left arm............hmmmmmmmm......I have developed a limp too on my right side.........where in my life did I become so vulnerable???? Falling has never caused this before............Bugger 33 this year.Maybe thats why!
So I get home after a veeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy long day and walk into my bedroom.I am in pain,I wanna sleep,but whats that smell!? it smells rank...... I open the windows and turn on the fan and turn around to see a humungous rat lying on my floor......it has its lower jaw missing........I am guessing its been eaten......is that the tastiest part?????
I dont like spiders but I will catch them if I have to...but a rat?? A rank smelling rotting rat??? I do it.I have to.Its not good.I wrap it in lots of paper and plastic so I cant feel it at all! Where did this come from?? This utter repulsion never experienced.......oh yes ! Thats right I remember I am 33 in 3 weeks time .I am going soft.....Its gotta go! It stinks and I dont wanna sleep with a mauled rat in my room.Benji is so happy wth himself and loudly Miows beside me as if to say "Look Mama ! Look wHat I got you!"
THANKS DARL..........
I go to bed with painkillers and a sore arm and leg.
I remember I said this year would be different! SLow down girl and take it easy! Praise the gift of love and Rat and be careful with yourself!
Its good to be back!

Back to School

2007-02-20T10:38:00.000+09:00

Next monday sees me returning back to School,which for the most part I am desperate to return to.I have a lot of adjusting to do as last semester saw me overworked,overstressed and over achieving..........so I have to try and contain the study to certain times and give myself a care free day off,otherwise I can see that I will have no hair left.(I had a stressful week last week and it started to come out again,but only a little)Anyways ,moving on from my ailments of which sometimes are too many ,and oh so dull.............

So next semester is the start of getting a little more intensive on the Chinese Subject side rather than the Western Medicine side,so I am hoping that it will be alot more motivating for me.That is not to say that I havent found the Western Med subjects fascinating,more the chemistry side of things! Hoorah no more!
I have just purchased the biggest book on Clinincal medicine and opened it up! Its pretty impressive.Pathology is impressive ,but its also scary! Hmmmmmm...perhaps I should look at all these big unknown words as exciting! The only problem is that the only chance I will ever get to use them is when talking to a doctor or others interested in clinical meds.........its not like you can just drop it into a conversation or display your talent on a wall! ..........hmpf.
BUT BUT BUT..........i will start needling next semester and performing moxabustion and dermal hammering and cupping and bleeding and,and ,and!
So I will keep you posted on all of that!
I am just posting a link Acupuncture. Whats good for you! for you guys to watch.......the link is at the top and not easy to see but the video is quite interesting although basic,but ,anything to promote the cause.
I am also doing critical research skills next semester so perhaps I wll start boring you all with that too.

Day 16?????

2007-02-20T09:45:00.000+09:00

I am in this very moment being gripped by a craving for a ciggie! My mind is rabid with thoughts of popping to the shops to buy a packet and smoke one! BUT never fear..........I wont..............its day 16?
Why the question mark I hear you say.....well........ermmmmmm......technically I havent booted the habit completely.I have had about 6 cigarettes in the last 8 days.I could say it was because I have had a highly stressful week,(and I have) but I really dont want to use that as an excuse as to why I smoked but I did and I feel crappy about it! I did say fromt he start that i would be happy to indulge from time to time and I guess 6 ciggies out of the 300 I would have usually smoked is great,but somehow as is always my way I feel i have let myself down.But I havent have I really??I guess I should be patting myself on the back for having achieved this at all.But everyone around me gives off waves of disappointment rather than encouragement and this saddens me a little.It feels to me like the fact that I had a ciggie at all is like I have failed,but in part ,I feel like there is no failure ,just an honest desire to get healthier and trying my best I am certainly not smoking full-time and my most vulnerable time is after finishing work at night,or if I have a coffee,so I am working with that.
I feel better for being a mostly non-smoker....or whatever you would call me now!

Water ! Water!

2007-02-20T09:38:00.000+09:00

Water or Coke?
Having been a very big fan of coke for many years(God Bless my insides) I have on many occasions treated it like an addiction.I have tried to give it up and go without.Sometimes on a very hot day I will have one but after reading this I think not~~ I havent had a coke for a while now due to my new love of soda water with ginger cordial! You see I dont think its the coke I really am addicted to but its the fizz,the bubbles and the way they fill my mouth with excitement and it quenches my thirst so well!
After reading this I really felt I should try and drink more water too~I hope you find this as interesting as I did.

WATER

#1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
(Likely applies to half the world population.)

#2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak
that it is mistaken for hunger.

#3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as 3%.

#4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs
for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of
Washington study.

#5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

#6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of
water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain
for up to 80% of sufferers.

#7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term
memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on
the computer screen or on a ! printed page.

#8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of
colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast
cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop
bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water
you should drink every day?

COKE

#1. In many states the highway patrol carries
two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from
the highway after a car accident.

#2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke
and it will be gone in two days.

#3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the
toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour,
then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes
stains from vitreous china.

#4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers:
Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds
Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

#5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour
a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble
away the corrosion.

#6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola
to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

#7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into
the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake.
Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix
with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

#8... To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke
into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run
through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen
grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your
windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:

#1.
the active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid.
It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric
acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major
contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.

#2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the
commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place
cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.

#3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean
engines of the trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water?

or Coke?

Booting the habit....Day 5

2007-02-06T10:07:00.000+09:00

Okay! I major shift in my world! I have not had a smoke for 5 days.
This is a pretty amazing thing for me as I havent gone a day without a ciggie in 17 years.
This is a decision that I am completely in control of.I decided the time was right to give it a go and here I am 5 days down the track! It feels like a lifetime and in the same instance alot easier than I anticipated.
Day one and two have been the easiest so far.Day 3 was a nightmare!I managed to have a fight with the lady in the local shop over the price of a Peppermint Freddo Frog and felt like a deep dark hole would gobble me up if I didnt smoke a ciggie.Of course it didnt but in the mean time I stole one of my bosses smokes just in case it did ! The cigarette is still sitting in my work apron 2 days later!Day 4 and 5 are better but I have spent much time negotiating with myself,planning when and where I might have a ciggie if I was to,telling myself that once in a while one smoke would be okay!I could be a social smoker surely?? or if not even that a smoke once or twice a week would be okay.......Its such a powerful drug!!!
Fortunately I have a few really supportive friends who have called me quite a few times to talk with me through the tough times ........one who has never smoked and one who gave up a few months ago but has the occasional.Its those calls that mean a heap to me.This is a strange new territory for me and I feel strangely disconnected from myself! I am so used to having a ciggie in my hand that I am not entirely sure who ths girl is that has not had a puff for 5 days........there are limitless possibilitie that open up in my head when I think about being a non-smoker and they are all so positive.
I have been really careful to not replace the cigs with any food! I think it would be easy to stuff in chocolate and all sorts of crap in an attempt to fill the hole ,but I really dont want to gain any weight and this is the time to forge new routines not just replace the old ways with another unhealthy addiction.Anyways I cant go into my local shop to buy Freddo Frogs anymore so I guess that I must have subconciously sabotaged that one!
So my way of thinking at the moment is TODAY I AM NOT SMOKING ..........
lets just see how it goes

Whos got more time on thier hands...........Her or me???

2007-01-29T12:36:00.000+09:00

Wow.........I had to practice this quite a few times before I fully understood it but hey listen by the time you get it, i reckon its going to change your folding habits for a lifetime~!

You can thank me later~!

Bliss!

2007-01-29T09:32:00.000+09:00

Hah Hah!
Here I am! I bet you thought I had disappeared off the face of the planet!That perhaps all my stresses and lack of hair had got the better of me and I had decided in the light of all of this to sign myself up as a Buddhist Monk ...........but no!Here I am! back and sparkling and brand spanking new!

Hair is growing back........albeit slowly,but there is a nice short tufty patch developing.I think it might grow back as a salt and pepper colour by the looks of it,but we shall see.

Fees for next semester are slowly accumulating in my bank account ,slowly being the operative word but all the same I will make the financial deadline.

Study is more or less non-existent and I still have another month before I start! Yehaw! Although I am trying to fit in a little here and there to keep it in my head!

Sleep is plentiful!

Holiday in Adelaide with the J-ster very chilled and lots of beach time and chill time! So now have nice tan !

Have lost 2 kilos of sitting on my arse studying weight!

Best of all as I look out the window here it is sunny and warm! Even better than that,I know I can go out and enjoy it any time I like! Hooray!

Thats all from me for the mo! I have some painting to do! Am working on some childrens pictures as part of my resolution to be a little more creative
Ciao for now~

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-22T09:56:00.000+09:00

Today is my last day of work before we drive off to the coast about 7 hours from Melbourne to sun, sea, sand and relaxation! Hoorah! We are off to a place called Merimbula! Apparently very beautiful and just the ticket for winding down! Its been crazy for me and I havent stopped since my exams ,thrown into a frenzy of work(which is great)and preparing for Christmas,but the bags are packed,the cat box is ready and i am raring to go!
Its been an amazing year .So many challenges and changes.They have all been wonderful and certainly I feel a better individual because of them.Although I have less hair,its all a lesson in how to adapt and change the way I approach life.That is never a bad thing.I recieved my exam results and did very well.The usual mix of distinctions,High dstinctions and credits.Its good.Perhaps though it is time to work out how to approach my studies with less intensity and more savvy.I feel tired and running on debt of energy.I know that with a break it will all come good.heading down to see the J-ster in the new year and so with 3 weeks of chill time to look forward to I can only hope that I will back to my more bouncy self in no time!
I am looking forward to the new Year.I feel better changes ahead and a feeling of allowing things to just "be" rather than trying to shape them too much .Its time to let go and trust a little more that things will turn out for the best.
As for you guys???????? I hope the New Year brings much peace ,understanding and happiness.Your health abundant and your purse strings never tight!
Its over and out from me for a while but I shall be back!
Merry christmas and Happy New year!!!!!!!

Its raining ,its pouring ,the old man is snoring!

2006-12-01T08:23:00.000+09:00

Fuck. Yesterday was supposed to be a day of rest! You know,try and get my hair to grow back cos as the chemist said,be prepared,more could fall out..........Okay so I might need a wig for christmas and anyways I had processed that kind of......But then I lost my job in the city.........I have never been let go of anywhere before.........never.So my pride feels a bit dented.My stress levels up a dash more.I have fees to pay I have to save money.Alot of money.Phew I think,thank god for my little financial plan........I can fall back on that a bit next year to pay fro my fees.I have put 20 tousand dollars in that over the last 3 years,a partial surrender will get me that cash........NOPE........a very very very small return will pay for dit,just enought o pay back the cash I owe my uncle......Fark,stress levels rising.......I decide to go to the solarium to get a bit of Vitamin D for my hair.......I have a massive run in witht he lady at the couter...the machine doesnt work properly and I keep getting up to tell her and she thinks its me.......I cant deal with this.I tell her she has a bad attitude and leave..........Stress levels rising...........alright go home put windows on shuffle qand lie down.......ahhhhhhhh thats better........is there something in the stars today??? Is mars and saturn playing funny buggers with my life? Can I let all this go? Can I look at the positive side??
I call my boss up the road(my second job) tell him whats happened.....can he help..Yes he can ......lots of work! Hoorah~!okay stress levels decreasing.Tell my fam about the finances ...can they help?? Yes if it comes to it they will lend me whatever I need to make up if I am short..........ah stress levels decreasing........goooooood!
So I am sitting here thinking to myself ,this has happened for a reason.I always analyse moment like this and think bad things happen which initiae change.That change is usually always for the better.......so I am meditating on that thought for a while and knowing that although it was and is stressful at the moment there is something really good coming.....a pathway to another destination,which I havent quite found yet.The changes I couldnt make were made for me.........so I can see that pathway when it comes along.I feel a bit better.

Stress Management?

2006-11-30T11:25:00.000+09:00

This has been one of the most insane times of my life.I have been going hard for the last 3 weeks! Constant study,worry and stress.I have eaten a million Executive B vitamins,a coupla bottles of rescue remedy and am now done.I do have this rather amazing bald spot on my head to show for the fact that I have not coped well with these exams.Woke up on tuesday with it.It just happened over night.......I cant believe it.It was a rude wake up call.Sarah,slow down,take it easy ,your going too fast,be good to yourself,a pass is enough.........I now have 3 months off from college to grow back my hair and work on how to cope better with exams.For now though I just wanna rest.My head hurts and I am so so tired! Lets hope all this hard work paid off.Results in 2 weeks.....

Calling all tongues..........

2006-10-24T21:57:00.000+09:00

Okay ! here we go! My first bit of real practical bit of diagnosis in my journey to becoming a Traditional Chinese Doctor..........I need to see some tongues.
Its a big part of diagnosis in TCM and really very indicative of what is going on in terms of disharmony in the body.
So here is my suggestion.All those of you who read my blog ,send along a picture of your tongue......Dont be shy ........I need to see as many tongues as possible to gain experience of how to read them.If you know my email send it there,if not then drop me a line with yours and I will send you my address.
You never know I might come up with some interesting findings!
Please help by contributing to my tongue library!!!!!!
All you need to do is stick your tongue out as far as it will go and take a snap! Dont brush it or gargle before or drink anything if possible! The more natural the better.........Say first thing in the morning!
I know its a wierd ask but it would be very very very helpful! I would be so happy to hear from you and your tongue!
Thank you!
xxxxxxxxxxxx

Passing on the love........

2006-10-22T17:26:00.000+09:00

One of my favourite feelings apart from the post sex cacophony of sound is when you get some new sounds to listen to.
Yo know how it goes.....yu are having a chat with a friend and it comes up in the conversation............"have you heard blah blah blah?" or "oh my god I brought this fabulous C,D you must listen to".Sometimes it kiinda just happens .You just hear a tune on the radio and think ...mmmmmmmmm........or you hear it at a friends place or a restaurant or a bar or god knows how many number of social venues you can dream up.........well,I got my little "tip" Like this...............

First things first

1.Get up
2. Go to bank
3. Walk to record shop
4.Find attendant
5.Ask for zero 7 - the garden
6. Go home and listen.....................................................!
7.Send email to me saying "wonderful"...
haha

oh
8.Jose Gonzalez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah.............so I took he advice,as advice is from very reliable source .
Zero & as always damn fine BUT Jose Gonzalez.....where have I been not to have heard this man and his beautiful guitar that immediately had me welling with tears in my eyes????????
Thats all I need to say,check it out! Albums are, Veneer,Remain and a special mention for the song Heartbeat.

The Life and times of Vivaldi.

2006-10-20T17:30:00.000+09:00

So I am back to hospitality again! Its a simple way to make money between studying.Sometimes I like it and sometimes I dont! Sometimes I wanna scream out to the customers who look down on you like a piece of shit on your shoe and other time I wanna hug the customers that just make your day with a laugh, a joke, or even sometimes a compliment.There seems to be little understanding of general human kind that anyine you come into contact with....... ANYONE.........and I cant overstate this enough.......IS A VALUABLE HUMAN BEING.You may not like them and you may not want to hang out with them but they are still valuable and precious to someone somewhere.So my day starts 3 days a week at 8am. I have a coffee to get me going beofre I start and away I go.Serving coffee and breakfasts for 4 hours until we make the shift to restaurant mode and serve lunch. The restaurant is below the Sofitel hotel and several large companies (Goldman Sachs, Telstra,Nab etc) so there is a certain "kind" of clientele.The men on the whole are great,keen for a chat and a giggle.The women on the whole couldnt give a damn and seem to want to play out their powertrips in the coffee shop too......PURLEEEEEEASE! Give me a break!
So I just do my thing and do what I am supposed to do,and I get paid at the end of every week! Nice!You would think...........
It then comes to these two women I work with ...........now I have nothing against Italian women I really dont ......but they are shocking.........evryone is accountable for everything,bitterness foams from their mouths,you can sense that one false move and youre standing in line waiting for a bullet to your head because you ordered a Long Black instead of a short black.Youre waiting to be electrocuted because you forgot to add 40 cents to the bill beacause they had soy milk and not regular and well quite frankly I am waiting to have my head lopped off,well just because I am me...........
I have been working on this conflict for some time now.Trying to figure out the best way to make them happy.I realised that there is not a thing I can do to make that happen,in thier world my small mistakes and even my existence is just a BIG mistake.You see they stick together and if either of them fuck up they erase the evidence,no accountability, no guilt trips, and no more said.........
I know I should leave,the situation seems strangely reminicent of other experiences in my life, other jobs, other relationships, other scenarios where you know its best to just walk away but it all seems so convinient and yet I still tell myself i can make it work if I just try harder at it, when will I learn..............

The big heat.........the no rain

2006-10-12T20:26:00.000+09:00

well this is all a little new to me.I am surrounded by talk of what we will do this summer in terms of water.........I say .......drink it,swim in it,take long long cold showers in it,wash my clothes with it,clean with it,make soup with it,water my plants with it,but it seems I may be limited as to my options and it not something I have really given alot of thought to.Water shortage talk is rife,Melbourne has had half the amount of water it needs to fully support its population.Farmers are selling land,crops are going to pot,people are looking a little worried........I feel a little ambivalent about it,its not that I dont care it just is so foreign to me.Sure I have camped for 10 days in a row and have had to take water from rivers and only wash where water was considered crock free......but that was different that was a controlled shortage,a fun adventure.
Talking to my uncle today he is considering getting a hose pipe from the bath in the kids bathroom out to the lawn to water the garden........and by that I mean the dirty bath water ,my question when asking how long the hose pipe was, which incidently was about 50 meters was also who was in charge of sucking at the other end? Will it come to family showers,or showers lasting no more than 2 minutes?? Will we have to buy bottled water to drink ? will we have a limit on our meter??
These are all things I am investigating .......while doing so someone at work was telling me that at some point some time ago there was a gas shortage and people were not allowed to cook with it or use it for heating water,and anyone found using too much had thier metres taken away...........My My........
So I will just have to see how this pans out.Its spring here right now and we had the hottest day in october for 99 years.A whopping 34 degrees.I love it ,I love the feel of the sun and the warmth and the freedom but when faced witht he very real threat of drought......I kid you not! Fromnt page news today......I dont feel so warm and fuzzy about these lovely hot days.

Wow!~

2006-09-30T16:07:00.000+09:00

I just realised that its been 3 weeks since my last blog~! where did the time go????
Well actually I know where the time has gone! I lost myself in books and exams! Its quite amazing how you can just lose time!
Take today for example..........I sat down in my chair at 9am.....I had a little lunch at 1pm, a few smoke breaks a shower ,alot of study and its now 5pm.Where did the time go?? I felt like I just got up! To tell you the truth tommorow is planning to be a fine day and I wanna get out to it! So I have crammed a whole heap of stuff in today and wacked up the pressure! Post exam is kind of the time to do it because you have stepped up a notch or two and are really motivated,hmmmmmmmmmm, motivated is the wrong word ,you are more into the groove of intense study! I have just completed 6 exams! Am waiting on results for some but already have 2 high distinctions for the ones I got back! I do hope you dont think I am being a bore or a big head, but I really like to share my success! I have had issues in the past with my own abilities and actually opinions of others and my intellectual abilities so I guess I am trying to prove something to myself and those that doubted me! Hey you .........you know who you are! Fancy going head to head on the details of replication of DNA........?????
I do have some posts coming up ! I just need to catch my breath and sort myself out!

Stands to reason.......

2006-09-11T11:24:00.000+09:00

J-ster tagged me with a question.........

WHICH BLOG DID YOU LAST READ?

Perhaps my brain is to lateral right now , but wouldnt it stand to reason that it was hers??

If I was going to think a little out of the box I would say something really interesting like "philosophies of the wandering man" or "The diaries of a Sadu"
Unfortunately my internet viewing is somewhat liited and I can only offer you up a web page..........does that count? Click on the link!
distraction

Look Look! Liver 3!

2006-09-10T17:21:00.000+09:00

Its a very nerve racking experience to needle yourself for the first time,but if I wanna do this acupuncture thang I sure as hell have to get the hang of it! The first time I needled myself it just kinda hung there all floppy and sad looking.I didnt have the courage to give it a good tap in.
The second time was a little better , and now ,well now I am a god damn pro.......although I think I hit a nerve today and that made me jump a bit!
These points are called liver 3 and are excellent points for subduing excess and nourishing deficiency.Great for headaches,insomnia,calming and period problems!
Me likey!
I havent gone as far as manipulating the needle as of yet,To do this you twist the needle in a little deeper.I really dont have the courage or knowledge for tha yet.I am just in the curious stage at the moment where a little knowledge seems to go a long way into motivating this kind of insane behaviour! But it works .it really works! I can feel the qi moving and I definately feel different after I have needled myself! Look ! Here I am blogging! I havent done tha in ages!

The place I know best.....

2006-09-10T17:16:00.000+09:00

This is my most familiar place ..........I love it! Its cosy and conducive to study.I have everything I need around me ..........Benji often tries to sabotage my work by sprawling himself along the top of the desk so there is absolutely no chance of getting to my work! I am slowly training him to sit on my lap but he is such a lush that it gets too cramped for him down there!
My aunt constantly berates me that I have the blinds drawn but how can you focus on study when its fabulously sunny outside and why would you open them if its grey rainy and dull???

Can you believe its that time again..............

2006-09-10T17:07:00.000+09:00

So here I sit again,with bum superglued to chair.....which incidently is a new one following severe back problems and having to resort to lying down on hard floorboards for a day or two........I thank the lord for my osteopath also,she did a great job of making my back look something other than chair shaped!

Anyways here I am again! 3 exams looming this week and 3 more in the following weeks.Its not qite as full on as last semester and I havent worked out wether that is because I have adjusted tot he terminology and reached a brain activity level that is now switched on to studying,OR wether it is that I have just chilled out a bit and cant be bothered quite so much.........Exams will tell.....
Had to purchase some of these Bush flower remedies which are fabulous for helping with concentration when studying.Called Cognis. Its the Australian version of Bach Flower Remedies .......which I always found very effective.
So folks sorry for dropping out on you there for a while, I just need to do this and then I will be a bit more present in everyones life! Thanks for hanging on in there!

One week in the life of new hair and more........

2006-08-05T19:19:00.000+09:00

Wow....I never thought that having my hair cut this legnth would have such an impact on everyone else more than it does on me! I have been ignored,admired,lied too,eyed up,and complimented by more women than i have ever had in a lifetime........
I must say men have had the wierdest reactions ranging from shock and then to my gay friends who just LURVE it and now call me Mary Poppins..........but what really gets me is how my hair was such a part of me to everyone else and now that its gone people seem a little uncomfortable with me .......like they gotta get to know me all over again just cos the hair came off!! Guys.......its only hair! I am still in here! Is my hair really all there is to me??
I am loving this reaction to it,but am also a little unnerved about it too! The funny thing is with one week of new hair under my belt I feel so much more confident and in control.I feel sexier and brighter.........I lost something when I cut the hair off.or should I say I let something go.............well 2 things actually...One,some years , I now look about 5 years younger,and two, a hell of a lot of crap from the past . Dont ask me why it just seems to have resolved alot...
anyways one week of new hair is going well for me! I like it and I like it alot! I wonder what week 2 of new hair will be like!

and just one more !

2006-07-29T19:07:00.000+09:00

Gosh..........I do look very different! I keep giving myself a suprise everytime I look in the mirror!
I know I am going to get very mixed results from all.......but you know what!? I love it! I think there is alot of emotion attatched to hair! I just cut it all off! Hoorah!

Hair parade

2006-07-29T19:05:00.000+09:00

This is the latest in parisian fashion darlings really luveys you MUST try it ! Its all the rage you know!

News Flash...........

2006-07-29T18:59:00.000+09:00

The new me!
I kept the old hair........god knows what for ! This is the shortest I have had my hair in 16 years!
What made me do it I hear you cry?????????
I dont know! I just did it! No reason but I jet propelled myself to the hairdressers before I changed my mind and TADA!I feel lighter and newer!

Taking a long breath out

2006-07-19T08:25:00.000+09:00

Here I am at J-sters place at last ! Time to relax and take a step back from it all and allow myself the good fortune to unwind.
I recieved my results at long last and did pretty well.....
4 High Distinctions , 1 Distinction and 2 Credits! Not bad . I am still letting it sink in and bugging everyone to tell me how clever I am ,What a great Job I did and what a fabulously intelligent thing I am...Its not happening quite that way but why would it??? Its my achievement and one that I need to pat myself on the back for.
But now its time to move on and enjoy the relaxation for a while!

Its all done!

2006-07-04T17:39:00.000+09:00

They are over! My finasl are done.10 exams in 4 weeks! I feel I have achieved irrelevant of wether I passed,got a credit,distinction or high distinction.
Its a great feeling.........I have a one month break form study but have found a new job which means I have to get up at 5.30 am every weekday morning.Thats okay .......I am in the desperate student mode who will do anything to get a buck in hand!
I am not sure how that will fare when I return to Uni but I am determined I dont want to be an insanely impoversished student.
Its all about finding the balance at the moment and I feel quite Zen about it all.If it works than great.......I am not scared of hard work.If it doesnt then find another way.
I have so many people too catch up with.so many e-mails to write but I am exhausted ,honestly really tired...........
ZSo I guess I will get to it when the mood and the energy arises!
Off to adelaide in 2 weeks so I know that I will get lots of sleep when I am with J-ster! I reckon we are going to take great joy in competeing with each other over who can sleep the longest! Ahhhhhhhhhhh..........cant wait!

Fantasy

2006-06-17T11:48:00.000+09:00

Right now I wish I was on a beautiful sunny beach listening to the ocean lapping up on the shore,lying next to a beautiful man with big hands to rub massage oil all over me..........
THE REALITY IS 12 HOURS OF FULL ON STUDY A DAY FOR THE NEXT 12 DAYS............
I have a stinking cold that I am supressing like a bastard and fuzziness in my brain which is in no way conducive to the amount of focus and concentration I have to produce............
I wish I had something of more interest to write..............With the amount of information floating aroung in the head I probably do but I just dont have the time!
I just wanted to pop in and moan a bit! I am a brit after all..........ist that what we are good at??
Oh an dby the way.........sorry to the japanese for your loss.Congrats to the Ozzies and go Brazil.......I love brazil! Although I dont say that too loudly over here at the moment~! The atmosphere is tense!

Another one down and 6 more to go!

2006-06-14T08:45:00.000+09:00

Shit........I am tired already!
I have 6 more finals to go and then I can rest for a bit!
I had my Point Location exam yesterday which I got 100% in and a written exam to go with it which I am prety sure I did ok in.
I saw the value yesterday in being present in all my lessons and talking with my lecturer ,being interested and keen and a tad anxious.
Practical location exams are a bit like a driving test and I fall to pieces!
We get a list of points to locate on a partner and then one of the 3 lecturers comes around to tick them off or cross them off depending on wether you have found the point......I dont do well in these kinds of situations,my mind goes blank and all the hard work and effort that I put in just flies out of my mind.I look at the first point and think......crap where the hell is that....???????!!!! Take a deep breath and push on!
Last night there were 3 points that I got wrong.One was a simple mistake.I confused it with another and my lecturer said that I should think about that point and e would come back.Immediately I knew what I had done wrong and corrected my mistake.
The second was more interpretation over the anatomical location and it was a tricky point to find......I located where I thought it was and the lecturer came over and asked me to justify it ,which I did and then he told me that he thought the Greater trochanter was a little lower than that,to which I replied that he should go away and come back and I would re locate it! Which he did and I got the mark!
The 3rd was just a total blank.........lecturer standing over my shoulder.......he knew I knew the point I knew I knew the point and we were both standing there waiting for it to come...........2 minutes is a long time when you are under pressure.....located it once .........nope...think about it............located it twice.....comon sarah ..........you do know this point.....3rd time got it!
So I got lucky.There were students there who were not as present as me or outwardly keen or anxious who did the same thing and didnt get the slack I did.......so I am grateful and thankful for the faith that my lecturers have in me.
Lesson........get to know them,talk to them about yourself,ask them about themselves,show your fear and anxiety.........let them know how you fair in situations like practical exams.........and relax.........
So I should be really happy about the grade and I am ,but I do feel like I had my hand held ,which I guess is okay.

Passing on the tag.........

2006-06-08T17:14:00.000+09:00

J-ster is interested to know what my answers are to the following so in a brief sojourn to the rote learning here I go!

5 Musicians that I currently listen to

Beethoven.....due to the ability not to invade my study wave.

Crosby Stills and Nash

Buddha beats (a collection of ambient music)

Windsongs by Micahel Hoppe (a truly relaxing trip of flute and the like)

TCM point Location Meditations......listen to this b4 I head to bed.Its supposed to enter your sub concious while sleeping!!!

St.Germaine.

5 Movies/DVDs That I Have Watched Recently

The corpse Bride........cute but thats abut all.

My fair lady.Audrey is my idol and always cheers me up.

Narnia.........cute but again thats about all.

Oceans 12....dull.

Fawlty Towers........pure bliss.

5 TV Shows That I Tend to Watch

Hmmmmmmm...........not too many at the moment but I LURVE LURVE LURRRRRRRRRRRRVE a show called "House" with Hugh Laurie as a talented ,intelligent,down right indespicable Doctor with an addiction .

Oh and lets not forget the odd episode of Desperate Housewives and commander in chief.

5 Restaurants I have Visited Recently

The one I work in! An italian upperclass affair with a quirky italian head waiter who makes me lick my lips so that he can have a thrill! And a boss who is a pain in the butt and terribly miserable but calls me Bella most of the time.

OHH and a restaurant that I was taken to my a very nice guy about 2 weeks ago called ladros.The best Pizza Restaurant in Melbourne apparently! Very upbeat and delish pizza!

Thats all folks! Unless my frequently visited coffee shop with the fabulous Jimmy as owner counts!???

5 Foods That I Currently Enjoy Snacking On

Nuts for the protein.Brazil nuts and almonds are the biz!

Butter popcorn!

Toblerone because I can and those god damn starburst babies drive me mad...I love ripping off thier heads!

Does port count as a snack????

Not too much of a snacker but trying very hard to replace chocolate for the more healthy kind of snackeroo!
Been eating lots of carrot and lentil soup recently!

Im tagging Suzie wooh, Mama,and just to make it a little more interesting.......Chris the karaoke king and 2 people who read my blog but never comment! GO ON! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!

and for those moments ........

2006-06-07T21:15:00.000+09:00

..........you will know the ones I mean when you check out the link! Definately something I have permanately linked to my favourites!
Enjoy!

bubblewrap moments

and moving swiftly on..........

2006-06-07T21:01:00.000+09:00

Okay , Two major exams done.I feel good about them. I am pretty sure I passed and may have passed well.Admitedly origins,insertions and actions of muscles are not my forte but we are slowly becoming friends.I also now know what an acromioclavicular ligament will do to your shoulder if ripped and what a worn menisci will do to your knees........Its all coming together to make me very knowledgeable about Muscular Skeletal workings.............but ..............I now have to change beat for big exam number 4 (of 11 that i will have in the month) Point location. 120 points to remember and their anatomical location.
Let me elaborate.
Imagine 120 sentences like this:

1.5 cun lateral to the midline at the level of the 4th sacral foramen.This is close to the corner or inferior lateral angle of the sacrum.Bands of the sacro-illiac ligamnets and origin of gluteus Maximus can be felt here.

Hmmmmmmmm..........not particularly fun to memorise or then additionaly to locate.
Wish me luck........up for air after tuesday .

Too Laid back or Mental suicide???

2006-06-03T10:39:00.000+09:00

I have 2 Major exams on Monday,so here I sit contemplating bones ,muscles,joints and my chinese oral.
I find it soothing and pleasant to listen to beethoven whilst studying.It seems to be the only type of music I can listen to that doesnt interfere with my thought processes BUT today I decided to put on the random visualisation on my media player.......BANG........kiss your arse goodbye to a good 45 minutes of study time! It was beautiful! I have often enjoyed looking at the visuals on Windows Media player but with Beethoven playing it was quite something else! I felt like I had been transported to another world.It was like a ballet of colour and movement and had me enchanted fro some time! Listen ,when money is tight and there is no opportunity for Theatre or the arts let me recommend this!
Anyways it did give me a well earned break from it all........and now I am back to it again!
Ciao for now

Success

2006-05-24T08:43:00.000+09:00

Okay folkeys! All my results are in! I am floating on a cloud right now!
Chemistry 76
Bio 81
Intro to chinese meds 100
Point location 98
Msa 77
History and philosophy 99
Chinese Lang 99

I am thrilled and had to share it with you all!

10 good things to say to someone who is feeling down!

2006-05-21T14:02:00.000+09:00

or maybe not even down! Just to let them know you care!
We cannot be happy all the time.It defies the laws of nature but what we can do is help it to not feel so bad when we arent! A bit like a warm blanket on a cold day,or a cold beer on a hot sweaty day!
You get the gist!

1. "I love you!"

2. "I care"

3. "You're not alone in this"

4. "I'm not going to leave/abandon you"

5. "Do you want a hug?"

6. "I love you (if you mean it)."

7. "It will pass, we can ride it out together."

8. "When all this is over, I'll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you."

9. "Don't say anything, just hold my hand and listen while I cry."

10. "All I want to do know is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on.."

Study block

2006-05-21T09:39:00.000+09:00

I am having a tough week.I have had a head cold of the most bizarre nature or as I am learning at the moment I have an attack of wind cold.Its most bizarre.It rises up to my head and stays there for a while clouding my thoughts and concentration for some hours and then disappears again without a trace,only to come back again at another point of the day just as quickly.So I am feeling a little out of sorts and trying to plug on with the mountains of work and not having very muchluck.Winter is coming on here and that feels strange.It should be summer to my internal clock and I am sure that has had an effect on the workings of my body. MY mind keeps saying that summer is just around the corner.That the sun will warm us all up again very soon.Then I have to tap myself and remind myself that actually its winter thats on the way! Brrrrrrrrrr.......not good witht he cold.It was fun when I could Snowboard but at the moment its just study. I need to get out and burn some adrenaline,take my mind off of muscles,body systems , aldehydes and alkenes,the 100 some points I have to memorise in two weeks and the 100 chinese characters I need to learn.........pah! I am definately having a study slump..........Heres hoping I can bring myself up to speed soon.11 exams in the coming 5 weeks.........then a break to go and visit J-ster and chillt he hell out before I go completely MAD!

Time Issues.........

2006-05-10T20:44:00.000+09:00

Hello dear ones! Its been a while...........
I have been ensconced and fully commited to my studies and my exams! I have just completed 7 exams and an essay.I am happy to report that I have been averaging distinctions and high distinctions........Not bad.
We have lost about 50% of the original amount of sudents.It doesnt suprise me .......Its a large commitment and a challenging degree. So I am feeling pretty proud of myself right now,but admittedly very tired.
I would love to sleep for a week but I just have to keep on going! More exams in 3/4 and 5 weeks time........and then a break! Hoorah!
I have been developing in many ways over the last few months . The process of studying and owning this degree has been extremely important to me.It has of course reflected in my grades,but it doesnt come naturally at the moment.It takes alot of home study and alot of good study techniques. Pleased to say I havent pulled an all nighter yet and sleep has been important.I have actually been getting up at 6 am to study which as some of you may know well is not a preferred time of mine but as the chinese philosophy states..... Morning is the time of day when we are expanding and growing.Its the Spring of our day.It is budding and flourishing.Evening is the night of our day and a time to nourish and store.A time to rest and slow down and gain more energy for the following spring!
I am trying to follow this philosophy and implement chinese philosophies into my life .
Its more involved than I thought it would be.Its definatley an art and has a long history.Its confusing at times and while running this side by side Western Sciences such as Chemistry,Biology and Human Disease processes,I am fnding that what I learn int he sciences I have to put to one side when I walk into my Intro to chinese Meds class. The physiology of the body in chinese Medicine is vastly different to that of how we have all been brought up to think.
In Chinese Meds its priority lies in the function over structure and its function being the circulation of QI (energy in varying states of manifestation), Body fluids including essence which when we deplete we die so take care folkeys! Not too much sex,drugs and rock and roll which deplete Jing hugely, and Blood,which is not really the same fluid as we know it and is moved by Qi. A combination of Food Qi and air is what keeps us living and from this all else follows.
I could rabbit on for hours.We have just started looking at the 5 phases or 5 elements as they are also named and this is truly fun! I will chat about that at another time though if anyone is interested!
Its funny,all these years of having Acupuncture and I thought that it was just about Qi and Yin and Yang.I am now realising that there its alot more invlved that that.!

I read in a book the other day
The channels are where beginners start and masters end.To beginners it seems easy but only the master knows how difficult it is.

I feel like I have entered an Alice in Wonderland world and all of my perspective and the way I look at the body is changing. It feels odd.Like losing something. In the same sense though I am gaining .........hmmmmmm...evrything is Yin and Yang in varying degrees no???
Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hi.Share my success and let you know I am alive and well.
Theer is much to share but time issues are massive.
Just keep chiecking me out.......gnna try for some more posts over the next few days!

100%

2006-04-16T21:46:00.000+09:00

More later but for those of you who were keen to know I got 100% in my point location exam! Yehaw!
Okay study to do for the next 5 ! More when I come up for air!

Flowers from a friend!

2006-04-08T10:07:00.000+09:00

Thank you H
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Point of the Matter

2006-04-08T09:55:00.000+09:00

Hello there everyone.
Firstly sincere apologies to those who are awaiting an email.Its just not going to happen in the next couple of weeks! I have a heap of exams coming up already and I am extremely focused on those.I spend at least an hour of my day fretting about my lack of contact with the outside world and I do apologise for this! There will be some time coming soon!
My first exam is on Tuesday and its 50% of my fnal mark of the semester and is a pre req to the next subject.So the pressure is on. Its point location.I have learnt over 100 points and can identify how to find them on the body. Its been a challenge but this will be my bread and butter and so along with that its been highly enjoyable.It will be my first exam for a very long time so I am wondering how I will cope in this environment!
Think of me at 6.30 pm Ozzie time !
Ill be thinking of you!
Ciao for now

Birthday Cheesecake!

2006-03-26T18:41:00.000+09:00

I got a birthday cake this year! Hoorah! With candles and everything! If there is one thing about being with Family they sure know how to make you feel special! I opted for the cheesecake version! Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy! We had a lovely evening out and finished of the evening with a cock sucking cowboy.
For those of you not in the know this is a shooter with butterscotch schnapps on the bottom and baileys on the top! Quite divine and very sweet!
Okay birthday celebrations are over for this year...... promise! Now whats next??? Ah yes Christmas! Hmmmmmmmm.........better get that list off to santa!

Characters

2006-03-26T17:15:00.000+09:00

Just thought I would post this pic! I have just had the ingenious idea of writing down my chinese characters on my white board and then taking a picture of them and putting them up on my computer as a screen saver! Quite a fabulous idea for constant reminding.
I am really enjoying Chinese.Its not so much speaking but more learning the characters and being able to apply them to meridians on the body and some other health related subjects.I am sure it will be even more fantastic when I head to china in 3 years and practise in a clinic environment.........the only problem being that if you dont use it you lose it! Hmmmmmmm extra study coming up I think! It takes me a while to memorise these.......lots of repetition........Each week I get about 20-25 to learn which doesnt sound alot but on top of everything else its challenging! Its not something you can hazard a guess at either! You know it or you dont! All my Tokyo friends will know that!
Oh and by the way foot is feeling much better ...........sore still but I can walk without a limp now! Hoorah!

Hoppy birthday

2006-03-22T20:26:00.000+09:00

Man.........me and birthdays! Will my friends ever hear about the cruisey lovely day I have had!?
Sorry guys! Again this year was jinxed! Although I have to admit that Family friends and others were quite fabulous.
I spent my day in hospital laid up in A and E with a sprained ankle!
6hours waiting for an xray .In tears because of low blood sugar! (they told me I was nil by mouth until they were sure they werent going to operate.)Wishing that I was sipping vodka cocktails somewhere other than the white sterile walls of a hospital.

How it happened you may ask??? No No I wasnt drunk at 12.30 pm but rather keen to ask my lecturer a question when she called the break .Having been sitting for an hour and a half my foot had gone to sleep .So when I jumped up my foot just curled under my leg and I went tumbling after it! What a site! Dropping in front of 40 students tot he sound of an almighty crackingin my foot! I wont forget that noise for a while~!
Fortunately for the quick wittedness of my lecturer we had ice and compression bandage within 5 minutes and was escorted down the stairs by 2 lecturers! The all know me now!
Anyways to cut a very long and boring story short I am fine! 48 hours of rest ,ice ,elevationa nd Nurofen and all will be well!

Commonwealth

2006-03-16T08:39:00.000+09:00

We have the Commonwealth games here in Melbourne!
Last night on the way to the bus stop after college I saw some beautiful fireworks! I later found out that on ground level they had people dressed up as Koalas on rollerskates with Fireworks ejecting from little backpacks ! What fun!
For me the Commonwealth games hold little attraction especially as my workload is huge! Where it does hold a heap of attraction is in the legs!~
I love legs ! Loooooooooooooooooooong legs! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.There seem to be alot of those around at the moment and provides me with some wonderful eye candy!
It also seems like everyone in the city has pulled out their sports gear and prancing around in the latest addida and nike (Yawn)
Tickets to go have been vastly overpriced and havent been selling and I keep getting comments like Ha! We won and you didnt! What they dont seem to understand is that I couldnt give a flying toss and although I am sometimes competitive its either on a very oersonal level or in a fun jaunty way when choosing a team to support in a pub televised game........I am about as patriotic as flea !!!
Oh and if anyone was thinking of forgetting! Its my birthday next week! I would have given you several months notice but I am bogged under!

Happy Birthday Benji!

2006-03-11T07:25:00.000+09:00

Today Benji is 1!
Happy Birthday beautiful! I have a tuna cake all ready and waiting! So happy to say goodbye to last year and all that it was! Phew! 2 is gonna be better!As long as he stays away from those pesky but oh so cute devil sounding ,sleep preventing ,smelly Possums!Which he doesnt!

Overstimulated,Over anxious and Over the moon!

2006-03-11T07:05:00.000+09:00

WOW!
I am coming up for my third week of Uni.Where did the time go........?
Thats a rhetorical question as I know exactly where the time has gone!
Unlike the j-ster who has a more relaxed shedule,I have the work load from hell.Its a full time commitment and then some.As I havent studied for a while I am sure that my time mangement has been a little off and the very fact that my brain hasnt responded immediately to its current demands hasnt helped but I am doing it! I get up every day and am studying by 10.I finish usually at 10,but the brain keeps on going!
Its like learning 7 new languages.In fact the language unit that I am doing which was my most daunting has so far been the easiest.Its only about memory an there are no concepts to get my head around which make it easier.
I guess right now my hardest challenge is Chemistry.We are doing degree level Chem moving onto Biochemistry.It just aint my thing and I have tried all sorts of things to get my head in a good place about it but coupled with a schedule change and a teacher from hell it hasnt helped.It has on the other hand made me seek other forms of learning other than the classroom and I have found some wonderful sites with very ineractive and visual activities to help me!
Its 9 am on a saturday and I am starting the day with Ionic,Covalent and Coordinate bonding! Yai me with my big coffee in hand!
I am slowly starting to make connections with other students although my social life is not a priority at the moment.With exams looming in 6 weeks that weigh in at 50 % of the final grade my focus lies there but I am trying to start a study group with other students on my course.So my social life may come in the form of study!ITS WONDERFUL and I am enjoying all my new knowledge and applying myself.

So if you havent heard from me in a while its because I am studying and not because I am not thinking of you.

PIN YIN

2006-03-02T20:42:00.000+09:00

Yi

Er

San

Si

Wu

Liu

Qi

Ba

Jiu

Shi

Thats all for now folks!

Body Slam

2006-02-26T11:50:00.000+09:00

I cant believe it.I had wonderful visions of a nice relaxing weekend doing nothing and just feeling chilled and prepared for my first day at College tommorow.
They say you have to be careful of what you ask for or you just might get it! They say you have to be specific.I guess I wasnt specific enough in my askings.
It started Friday night at 10.30.I felt dizzy.Then I felt hot .Then I felt cold.Then I started to sweat a cold sweat.Then my body started to turn a little red.Then I vomited VIOLENTLY in the restaurant toilet 3 times.Then I had to make my excuses(after thoroughly cleaning the only toilet they have) and dash home where I continued to vomit until 5.30 in the morning.I am now plagued with a very upset tummy and the energy level of a sloth.Yes,I had a weekend where I could do nothing except lie on the sofa curled into a ball with nausea sweeping through me and the very frequent rushings to the bathroom.Hell.I dont feel happy.Perhaps it was something I ate .Perhaps it is some sub concious stress about everything.Perhaps I am finally letting go af the past and the grief.I dont know.I just hope that I feel a little more refreshed for tomorow.

Hoorah for feet!

2006-02-21T11:05:00.000+09:00

Hoorah! I have a job! Its a source of reliable cash flow for the time being.It does mean that I have to work a few nights a week but hell I'm a student now and thats what a sudent has to do!
I got really lucky and am working in a high class Italian restaurant just a 5 minute walk away!
I am working at a BMW function on Wednesday........could be fun!
I havent worked in the hospitality Industry for a long time and swore when I got out of it that I would never go back.Needs must! But I have to admit its great exercise, but my feet! Oh my god I had completely forgotton to remember that working a busy restaurant floor is a killer for the tootsies! It didnt help that my feet have either grown or my shoes shrunk! One must never under-estimate the importance of taking care of the feet! Peppermint Lotion is firmly placed on bedside table from now on! So well done me! Another hurdle leaped and am firmly on my way to saving for next years college fees!

Ask and ye shall recieve...........

2006-02-20T09:01:00.000+09:00

A study at Yale found that only 3% of students had written goals.Twenty years later the same 3% were wealthier than the other 97% combined.

I am a great believer in setting intention. Wherever your mind lies,your thoughts from day to day ,your priorities ,thats where you will find yourself.

Somewhere along the line I set a goal to Study Acupuncture and now here I am about to embark on this.It didnt just fall into my lap.I didnt just open my eyes one day and say "HEY! Im off to Oz to follow this path" It was something I had in my mind for a long time .Something I intended for years.It didnt happen for years because I placed the priority low on my list behind Travelling,Relationship and earning money.
As soon as I made it my priority it became like a river flowing from its source out into the ocean of action.The rest as they say is history .

I have been focusing alot on this equation recently. Its become a priority in my life to set my intentions.To put it out there and make clear to myself what I want to achieve in the following year. I made a list of achievable goals.I wrote then out in bright colours and stuck them on my wall.I read them every day.
Its my list.They are my personal goals and I know without a shadow that I will achieve all that I set out to do this coming year.
Already I am getting results.
My question is :
How many of you out there have done the same???
How many of you have actually sat down and written out your goals and made them concrete in your mind?
Its so easy to have vague goals .Then I guess what happens in your life is kinda floaty and vague.
By writing them down you are really telling the world around you and more importantly yourself that this is what you will achieve.I can do this.
It seems so simple.I guess it is.Its just as humans we like to complicate things.
Buddha says it.
The bible says it.
The koran says it.
Ask and Ye shall recieve!

Taking the baton.......

2006-02-14T14:27:00.000+09:00

Thanks to J-ster and Missin I have taken the Flickr baton.Actually I took it awhile back and completely forgot about it!!
Anyways there is a fancy pants badge at the bottom of this page which circulates through picture that I have stored! Take a peek! Hey you may even be able to click on the badge and see them big size!
I have to fly as I have a job trial! Wish me luck!
I am getting wealthier each day!

Just to affirm

2006-02-12T09:45:00.000+09:00

I have often thought over the short life of this bundle of love that he is more like my perfect man than a fluffy little companion.
He sleeps with me at night purring away with content.He sits with me when I sick.He makes me laugh when I am down.He is loyal and has never been unfaithful to me (although he did come home smelling of perfume the other night.......)He kisses me in the morning and the evening and all through the day.There is no doubt that he loves me. He constantly checks in in the space of the day.Hes well travelled and fit. He is gentle and protective when needed.He is playful and sexy in a sleek agile way!He looks into my eyes often.
Why wouldnt you want a man like that???
My suspicions about him being the feline version of my perfect man tha other day were confirmed when he took the kids to playgroup!
He walked the 10 minute journey with the children.Hung out with all the other children on a table,entertained them and then came back again!
Gorgeous~!

The web that has no Weaver

2006-02-11T10:36:00.000+09:00

Its the start ! The beginning of the journey that I have had my heart set on for many years! Feel free to join me on my journey and learn a little bit about Chinese medicine along the way!
So finally I have a booklist and now a few books to read through before my start date on the 27th of this month!
So far my readings have told me this much.I am studying something that is congruent with my own beliefs!

In order to contract,
It is necessary to first to expand.
In order to weaken,
It is necessary first to strengthen.
In order to destroy,
It is first necessary to promote.
In order to grasp,
It is first necessary to give.

Chinese Medicine works very much on the theory of Yin and Yang. The harmonies of nature and those within ourselves.The inevitability of our lives.The darkness of night and the light of day.The patterns from birth to death.The patterns of the seasonal year. A pattern that operates within us and without and is seen in everything and will continue wether we like or not!Thus the web that has no weaver!

My first semester is very foundation based .I will have 7 subjects. Biology,Chemisry,Muscular Skeletal Anatomy,Chinese language,Point location,History and Philosophy of Natural Medicine and Philosophy of Chinese Medicine.
Sp far I have been very clever with my book searching and found my most important book on ebay.Paying a grand 100 dollars less than I should have!
The books being very specialised are expensive,there are some I need, some I can refer to and some I can paw over in the library.So with 3 weeks to go several books bought I am getting the old grey matter up and running!

I do have a concern though........I am wondering what my other college friends will think when I start humming twinkle twinkle little star in the middle of a chemistry lecture.

My world

2006-02-08T09:10:00.000+09:00

This is my closest beach! Its in St .Kilda and its young and funky and cosmo! Just a short 5 minute walk from here is a gorgeous little esplanade full of sweet bars and restaurants.For those of you who know me well you can imagine my joy at such a venue. Melbourne has it all.I love it here.I cant imagine my life without a beach in it.I am working on a my dreams in many ways .At the moment my dream house is near to the beach with a backdrop of lush green behind.Fantasy?? Not here!
So, when the study gets too much I can hop onto the #96 tram for a brief 10 minutes and then watch the sunset and the sailing boats cruise on by ,pop up to the esplanade and sit with a coffee and watch the world go by or stick my nose into a chinese philosophy text book

The mouth of babes..............

2006-02-06T17:41:00.000+09:00

I just had to blog this.........

Since my arrival in Australia I have been trying constantly to get an idea of what the twins make of me.I always think that the very young have interesting and insightful views!

Today at long last I got a reply to make question.

Sarah: Do you love your Auntie Sarah?
Benjamin: I love Auntie Sarah.
Sarah: Whats your favourite thing about Auntie Sarah?
Benjamin: ERM............(loooooooooooooooong pause..........)
Sarah:Whats your most favourite thing about Auntie Sarah Benj?
Benjamin : Rainbow sky!
Sarah: Stunned silence(dissipates onto the floor in a puddle).

We have no idea where he got that from or why,but me likey!

The Summer!

2006-02-02T09:48:00.000+09:00

That was all in a week!It doesnt even include the week we spent in Adelaide with Jo! Phew! We had fun!&>
Well Helen conquered Melbourne and Adelaide! as did I! We had a fabulous time! We discovered many places where they serve free sparkling wine for a couple of hours.we discovered that Melbourne has a Museum that is not one you can whizz half heartedly around in an hour and 3/4.We played Lesbian lovers (sort of) at the Gay and Lesbian Festival.We sought out Tattoo parlours for the green star that Helen has elegantly placed in the small of her back.We sipped spritzers on the southbank and watched the world go by in the sunshine.We shopped til we dropped.We found that when you really need a hat you cant find one ANYWHERE.We played in Luna park.We dipped our toes in the warm water of St.Kilda beach.We took a ride along the river in the evening sun.We agreed that 43 degrees is a tad too hot to do anything outside! We jaunted through the St.Kilda Markets.Had dinner with live sax playing down the street.Champagne birthday breakfasts with muffins and candles and last but by no means least went to the Melbourne Open to watch a few games of Tennis in the Rod Laver Arena.
That was all in a week!It doesnt even include the week we spent in Adelaide with Jo! Phew! We had fun!