Saturday, October 06, 2007

Remains

So.........Its been a wierd couple of months.Extreme highs followed by what I first percieved to be an extreme low! You know the kind.Hard to get out of bed,feel like a sack of potatoes,no one loves me,end of the garden ,worm eating and general beating up on oneself.
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!

Reality check..........
1. I made myself vulnerable.What this really means is I have been open and honest with my feelings and who I am! I love that!

2.I am lonely.What this really means is that I am so focused on my dreams and goals that I havent made time for anything else in my life......I can work on that!

3.I am not worthy.eh hem.I ended it because I believed I am worth more than what I was recieveing and the result was the revealtion that I was right!

4.I miss intimacy-kind of the same as the above and again something I am working on.Its not a bad thing to miss intimacy but I can seek it in all kinds of ways.Self,friends,pets and spirit.

5.I will never find what I am looking for.Yes I will.I just need to be patient.It is my right to be happy and fufilled.

So those are a few things I wrangled with this week.I have worked through them all and come out on top.I am moving forward positively.I am radiant even.
This girl will not be beat,or pulled down by lifes little upsets! She will always work through them and seek the positive and then seek to action them.
It all feel rather good!

Monday, October 01, 2007

GOODBYES

The dream,and it seems it was just a dream,is dashed.I think I had a lucky escape.




"Men like
women who don't color their hair, don't wear lots of
make up and who are comfortable with what God gave
them. This is who I am going to marry. Its what all
men truly seek in a woman.

The world is not as it once was. Women have forgotten
how to be women. They have forgotten how to be able to
raise a family and run a house. They no longer know
how to iron a simple shirt, to sew a ripped hem, or
bake a cake on Sunday afternoon. They no longer know
how to hang up laundry on a washing line... the simple
thing in life that are so over looked, yet so
important. To listen to a husband after a long days
work and run him a bath and bring him a cup of tea or
a glass of wine before dinner."

I have read this many times.I am still reeling at the fact that I didnt pick any of this up.
I am also truly disappointed that I now have to go back to the drawing board and start the search again........hell.........I do pick them.......but what a lucky escape.Is this truly what a man wants????