Hold on tight now!............weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........

Phew........seems its not my week this week.......I feel tired ,drained and have cried alot.......
So this morning I picked myself off my floor and went for a drive to find a tree......a strong tree! One that could just give me some strengnth and grounding!
I havent sat with a tree for a long time and it felt really good! I got clear really quickly!
Thank you tree!

Ritual

Ritual.......what does this word mean to a lot of people???
Some I guess might think it has religious connotations ,others might think it is something devilish,sexual,devious,some perhaps think light and power enhancing.
Today I decided that after the last few days that I need a personal clearing and my space needed a bit of a cleanse too.
Some months ago I purchased a sage and lavender stick for this very purpose.Native American Indians used them often to invoke spirit for healing and cleansing.
I wouldnt say that I am a kooky kinda gal but I do have my moments,and when I thought about doing this ritual it led me to take a look at what it was about.
For me it wasnt so much about the ritual or the smudge stick.It was the intention and taking a moment to focus on that .I very often dont take time out in my life to perform rituals, and it occured to me that it is really important to make time for them in my life everyday so that I can set the direction that I want my life to take and the energy I want to put out there into the world.
I have recently started to meditate every day at least for 10-20 minutes,but often this ritual gets cast aside under a desk full of study notes and I know that I am cheating myself of a valuable tool.
Intention of thought for me is very powerful.It can harm and it can heal.
In acupuncture we talk sometimes about a point that is more about intention than necesarily its indication or function but can be equally powerful.
So I have decided that I am going to develop more ritual in my life........
anyone out there have any rituals that the perform that they find valuable then let me know! I would love to hear.
And now I feel cleansed and my room clear I am off to do some study!!!!!!!

Shaken not stirred...........

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Yet again I find myself in conflict.I am obviously needing to learn a lesson here,either that or I have a big red beacon that is invisible to me but apparent to every conflict seeking bitch on the planet which squeals out ......vent on me,vomit your venomous tongue upon me,lay your shit on me..........WHAT THE FARK!
I am trying very hard to not take this latest event to heart.It was a very rude encounter and one that reeked of hatred rather than resolution. This part is the part that frutrates me the most.I beleive that if there is conflict ultimately there should be resolution,so upon opening myself up to allowing this as a possibility I found I sit here pondering how to go forward with this situation........Firstly I beleive that I need to look inwards and see if there is anything I can do to adjust the situation within myself.Look at some of my personality traits and see if they have contributed to this situation.Are they ones I can change?? Are they ones I WANT to change.I have sat with this a bit today and have come up with a few ideas.
Firstly If anyone tries to get in my face like that again,I will tell them firmly and respectfully to get out of my space and take thier shit to someone who wants to listen.Secondly I would suggest that if they would like to TALK about whats bothering them rather than rant,then I am here to listen.Thirdly not everyone i going to like me.This is a hard one for me,but one I have to come to terms with.Fourthly I am not always going to say ,do or behave in the right way.I am a strong,vital woman with certain beliefs.They are always up for discussion,and always open to being challenged.But not everyone is the same as me or thinks the same way as me,so I must be sensitive to this.Perhaps listen more to what they person is saying to me.........
So I have stepped out of this situation shaken,a little ruffled somewhat nervous about seeing this person again,but clear about it all.
The End.

Outside ,In

Today I felt on the outside looking in.I very rarely feel like that, but it always shows I am feeling insecure.I felt like the world was happily revolving irrelevant of my existence and almost happily without it.I wanted to reach out for a while and say "look at me.notice me.Love me please" .
I admonished myself for being weak and then berated myself for not allowing myself for accepting these moments of insecurity.I couldnt win today and nothing I did , said or acted made a difference.Its 100% okay to be sensitive .Its part of what makes me,but sometimes I wish I wasnt so..........

Cupping !

Well here we go!!!! Its time to fasten your seat belts and get ready for lift off,its time to insert needles ,suction cups,scrape and hammer all in an effort to get that good ol qi moving how it should.......basically freely , and ,in the right the direction!
Here is me cupping for the first on the lovely Miguel who is my therapeutics partner!
I was slightly nervous as cupping involves the juggling of fire and glass cups and skin! It all went well and I was really happy with the result! The more "Sha"that comes up the better and as you can see from the 2nd pic there was a lot of sha! Although it looks sore it doesnt hurt a bit and basically in TCM philosophy is ridding certain areas or organs of stagnation by draging the cups over the body which has been vacuum sucked on by the aid of fire within the cup.......feels good.

33 Looming.

33 is looming next wednesday and I am curious to see how it pans out over the year! 32 was all about commitmnet to study and lots of challenges on all levels.
This year I would like to focus and set goals in other directions!
First up is have to a bit more ME time add a little fun,some man action and some femininity. One of my gay friends here says that"I do THINGS to him that no woman has done before" I guess I should take that as a compliment but really I am not in the market for a gay boyfriend or even a Bi boyfriend.I am looking for a nice solid man with fabulous morals and ethics.Likes to look outside the box and is kind and gentle.
So with that in mind I have decided to celebrate the turn of my 33rd year with a bit of speed dating.Never done it before,but I reckon it will be a hoot as long as I dont have to date 12 ugly men with ugly personalities I should be fine.No! I m not shallow ,but I do know what I want,and seeing as I have so little time on my hands this seems to be the most convinient way to meet men who want to meet girls!
Watch this space!

Theres a rat in my bedroom what am i gnna do????

Hoorah ! I am back to Uni ! I likey! I now have a goal and a purpose again! I loved being able to restore all my energy after many stressful exams and experiences .I loved resting and waking in the morning with not much to do! I loved sleeping in!

First 2 days were great! But yesterday went a bit awry! Rushing to the bus stop found me flat on my face as foot hit kerb and body went reeling...........I thought i was going to right myself but it didnt happen and I went on going ! I underestimated the damamge as I got right back up again with heavy book,drink,lunch filled rucksack to dash to my bus.........later that afternoon I started to experience tight nervey pain down my right arm,left leg felt crampy.
Finished lesson ,hopped or should I say hobbled onto the bus and went straight to work.By 10 pm I was feeling seriously damaged and crippled.Turning my head to the left was not only painful but gave me painful nerve sensatons down my left arm............hmmmmmmmm......I have developed a limp too on my right side.........where in my life did I become so vulnerable???? Falling has never caused this before............Bugger 33 this year.Maybe thats why!
So I get home after a veeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy long day and walk into my bedroom.I am in pain,I wanna sleep,but whats that smell!? it smells rank...... I open the windows and turn on the fan and turn around to see a humungous rat lying on my floor......it has its lower jaw missing........I am guessing its been eaten......is that the tastiest part?????
I dont like spiders but I will catch them if I have to...but a rat?? A rank smelling rotting rat??? I do it.I have to.Its not good.I wrap it in lots of paper and plastic so I cant feel it at all! Where did this come from?? This utter repulsion never experienced.......oh yes ! Thats right I remember I am 33 in 3 weeks time .I am going soft.....Its gotta go! It stinks and I dont wanna sleep with a mauled rat in my room.Benji is so happy wth himself and loudly Miows beside me as if to say "Look Mama ! Look wHat I got you!"
THANKS DARL..........
I go to bed with painkillers and a sore arm and leg.
I remember I said this year would be different! SLow down girl and take it easy! Praise the gift of love and Rat and be careful with yourself!
Its good to be back!