The last post was a bit morbid so I wanted to update.
I sleep with 2 angels next to my bed. One rose quartz the other Amythest. They are there to remind me that I am always being backed up.There is always something bigger than me running the show.
In the morning when I remember, I open up a dialogue in my head with the guys upstairs.I ask for certain things and I hope they listen.
Its not always about asking and recieving though.There are times when I just listen.
I was reminded after a conversation with a good friend of mine a few days ago that in times of stress ( of which I have to admit are pretty constant for me due to the fact that I have a lot going on in my life , say like 12 assignments, a job, a full time degree and a health condition that always puts me in a state of back footedness)there is absolutely NOTHING to be done.Its at times like these that NON ACTION should be chosen over action and surrender adopted over control.
The universe has a plan. Its so much more loving and intelligent than I.If i just take my hands off the steering wheel and stop controlling I might allow it to see where its taking me.I just have to stop steering fro a while.
As my friend said, and I agree, how can we hear the beautiful orchestra of the angels when we are constantly talking over it.
So I am in a state of surrender.Being an observer rather than a doer and taking a break from MAKING everything okay.
I am really happy to be reminded of this lesson and it releases me from alot of what goes whirling around in my head.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Bugger
I called in sick today.
I just couldnt face the day.My tummy hurts, my heart hurts and I feel flat.
Im in a tricky situation.
I havent learnt the skills to this date on how to deal with aforementioned tricky situation.
I think I have made a mistake,but thats done and nothing can change that,but,its how I move forward that is now the question.........
I have attempted to correct the mistake, but the person i need to correct it with wont let me speak to them.
In the past I would usually deal with a situation like this by just letting go.
Chasing after the problem might make it worse.
I believe this thing is too valuable to let go of.
Reactions are funny things.I told myself years ago that reacting to situations was a heinous crime.Now I find myself doing exactly that. I am human. To err is human,but how to correct your mistake is like trying to be superhuman.
I think I might just go to bed and hug my wheatbag for a while longer.
Time seems to be passing so slowly though...........
I just couldnt face the day.My tummy hurts, my heart hurts and I feel flat.
Im in a tricky situation.
I havent learnt the skills to this date on how to deal with aforementioned tricky situation.
I think I have made a mistake,but thats done and nothing can change that,but,its how I move forward that is now the question.........
I have attempted to correct the mistake, but the person i need to correct it with wont let me speak to them.
In the past I would usually deal with a situation like this by just letting go.
Chasing after the problem might make it worse.
I believe this thing is too valuable to let go of.
Reactions are funny things.I told myself years ago that reacting to situations was a heinous crime.Now I find myself doing exactly that. I am human. To err is human,but how to correct your mistake is like trying to be superhuman.
I think I might just go to bed and hug my wheatbag for a while longer.
Time seems to be passing so slowly though...........
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Festival and other things............
I organised a street Festival.
It was a great event.SO many people came.Easily a couple of thousand.Alot of people came up to me congratulating me on my success.That part was great. What was also great was looking at the car park and seeing it filled with colour and excitement and alot of people enjoying themselves.I helped to create that.Something I can look back on and be very proud of.
The flip side of the event was the abuse that I recieved from people about the car park being closed from 3pm. One woman swore at me. Some traders were extremely pissed off,even though they had been informed several times. They couldnt seem to look past the fact that although it may be a tad quiet for an hour or two,that after that there would be a MASSIVE influx of people and that this would be HUGE for thier business. I recieved alot of negativity at the start.This didnt help my esteem, but I managed to push that away. I have now only heard good things from the traders. Some cafes sold out of everything they had...... The exposure the festival created to our community of local shops wont just be an on the night thing.It will continue for some time I think.
Anyway I was just the coordinator/facilitator for the event.What people decide after this is thier decision.
The council were impressed and offered me a bench mark as to how succeful it was,which was good,because I have never done anything like this before and had no idea of what was a good turn out.Apparently it was good! I am happy.
I am experiencing some post fetival blues at the mo.The adrenaline has subsided and its back to the norm.
On a more exciting note but not detailed.........there is a fella in the works.He is wonderful.More about that when the time is right!
It was a great event.SO many people came.Easily a couple of thousand.Alot of people came up to me congratulating me on my success.That part was great. What was also great was looking at the car park and seeing it filled with colour and excitement and alot of people enjoying themselves.I helped to create that.Something I can look back on and be very proud of.
The flip side of the event was the abuse that I recieved from people about the car park being closed from 3pm. One woman swore at me. Some traders were extremely pissed off,even though they had been informed several times. They couldnt seem to look past the fact that although it may be a tad quiet for an hour or two,that after that there would be a MASSIVE influx of people and that this would be HUGE for thier business. I recieved alot of negativity at the start.This didnt help my esteem, but I managed to push that away. I have now only heard good things from the traders. Some cafes sold out of everything they had...... The exposure the festival created to our community of local shops wont just be an on the night thing.It will continue for some time I think.
Anyway I was just the coordinator/facilitator for the event.What people decide after this is thier decision.
The council were impressed and offered me a bench mark as to how succeful it was,which was good,because I have never done anything like this before and had no idea of what was a good turn out.Apparently it was good! I am happy.
I am experiencing some post fetival blues at the mo.The adrenaline has subsided and its back to the norm.
On a more exciting note but not detailed.........there is a fella in the works.He is wonderful.More about that when the time is right!
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