Courage

I am in blog block mode.
I am trying to wade past all the emotion to get to the outside.I have done some great things in the last 3 weeks but cant move outside of myself enought o write about them.
It may take some time.
I need courage.Lots of it.I am taking courage out the door with me everyday,wearing the face and getting on.
Some days its good and some days its not.There is no doubt that this is all exactly as it should be.There are no thoughts of return.Its just grieving time.

If someone had died it would be easier, more tangible.

Should I write these thoughts ?? I guess it may be a little more than some people want to read over their cup of tea or end of day wind down,but its a process and I want to record it.
The nature of us all is to desire warmth and love and respect.Its all I want and at the moment I am finding it in many places and not in the bottom of a vodka shot. I guess that takes courage.To stand up and work through each emotion and look at it and put it down again and then maybe pick it up again and take another look.Some of the things I have found so far are not so good to look at.I dont want to pick them up and look at them again.Its precisely those that need to be picked up and scrutinised, pulled apart and put back together again.
Courage is the one thing I am holding on to. Its the courage to break out of the old me and move onnto something new.The courage to take life to its next level.The courage to face the pain of knowing that I loved long ,hard and good and will again.The courage to take responsibility for myself and my choices. The courage to move away from the safety I knew ,no matter how superficial.
Finally the courage to let the world that I dont feel okay now,but I will soon and that I am open to everyone and everything and any insights advice and love they have to give. The courage to reach out.