Girl..........

Realised I havent blogged for a while...so in bullet points here has been my life in the last few months..........

* Girl finishes Uni.....works hard at work and on personal stuff
* Girl gets fantabulous grades at Uni and is not sure how.
* Girl starts to find a way that life works
* Girl says goodbye to love of life.
* Girl runs successful workshop
* Girls street festival nominated for national award...
* Girls street festival doesnt win national award but feels good.
* Girl starts Uni....her final semester.Yehaw
* Girl gets invitation out of blue.
Girl plucks eyebrows.She does this sometimes
* Girl goes to Broome/Derby.....Holiday,sun and nice company!
* Girl has good time,fun, and feels GOOD!
* Girl treated like princess.......yeeeeeeeeh!
* Girl is hungover ALOT.
* Girl ponders life and universe.She does this sometimes.
* Girl gets onto boat and pees in bucket and then uses same bucket to wash corn relish off her face..........not so good!
* Girl sees lots of whales and this feels good
* Girl likes her time with old friends
* Girl comes back to melbourne......no sun,only wind.
* Girl eases back into Uni
* Girl freaks out that Uni finishes soon...like 3 months
* Girl dreams of sun and nice times
* Girl goes to stupid american Rah Rah workshop (no offense americanos)
* Girl learns something from stupid Rah Rah workshop
* Girl is 100% commited to her dreams and desires.

Half way through the year already??!!

I looked back on my visions for this year adn realised I have accomplished ALL of them. Well I havent completed the degree yet but a semester my friends, a tinsy winsy semester!
I am feeling so proud of myself for getting all my visions visualised! Hoorah! I guess it is true what they say! We are the creators of our world! Bring it on!
So this is what I have achieved

Good Health.I envisage resolving the headache I have had for the last 5 months- GONE apart from about a few days here and there

2. Lots of Bodywork- Have a remedial massage once a week!

3. Non escalation-I dont want to dramatise issues.I dont want to get caught up in the rising tensions of issues.I plan to observe them and not attach myself to drama.If someone wants me to attach myself to thier drama it just aint gonna happen.I am working on supporting and letting go. Myself and others.Yup, this has been a hard one but have stayed mostly on track with this.Just been reaching inside to find the stillness before I become too attatched or emotional!

4. Nurturing self. Quiet time. Time doing nothing. This nothing time often becomes reflection and inspiration time. Oh yes! I made time for me this year!

5. A healthy relationship with myself,family and friends and hey possibly even a man.The man part had been put on the back burner for sometime due to Uni and ill health,but it would be very nice to develop a relationship with a man who respects my boundaries, is independent, caring and talented in dealing with me! All of this has been achieved,long lost friends are back and relationships are looking great!

6. I will qualify this year as a Dr of Acupuncture.This is very exciting but there is alot to organise in the way of registrations and new homes and I am hoping some good time to take a break and see some long awaiting friends from afar. Wirk in progress!

7. Creating positive inner chatter. The first thing I do in the morning is set the scene for my day,I am now always looking for the good and not being dragged down with the negative! Score!

8.I have a new job!!! I am now a P.A to a succesful Hypnotherapist and business owner of "Simply Natural Therapies".This is a wonderful opportunity for me to further my experience in the field of Alternative therapies.It also means I dont work in hospitality anymore! Yehaw.....something I have been working towards for a while now! Thank you Thank you Thank you! Going Bloody well and learning more than I ever thought possible! Just love it!

9. Affluence/Abundance on all levels. It come to me everyday! I always seem to have enough!

10.Positive mental attitude about me and life.Sadly life this year has battered me around a little and its eroded away my vitality on a physical and mental level.This needs restoring. Yes,I am astounding myself on how much progress I have made this year! Watch this space...........more to come!

Two Turtle Doves

I think I must be getting a bit kooky in my old age.I am obsessed with the turtle dove in my garden.
A few months ago aforementioned turtle dove had turtledove wife.Turtle dove wife was murdered by my big red puss by having its head ripped off in a most unceremonious fashion.
I have an affinity for Turtle Doves,they are monogamous and mate for life,both male and female take care of the nest and look after the young.They hang out together and keep each other warm.Its the perfect love story in my eyes,well it was til Mrs turtle dove got head ripped to pieces.
I have been feeling awful about it.Saddened that MR Turtle Dove was sad and lonely and had no-one to cuddle.
Every morning he is there sitting on his perch all on his own.

BUT about a week ago he started to get very verbal and chuffed out his chest alot,so I got excited.Me thinks there is another chick in town.........to my glee throughout this week I have watched a glorious love affair unfold between aforementioned MR turtle dove and now soon to be(I dont think hes popped the question,but am pretty sure its coming soon,cos I saw them kissing in the tree)MRS turtle dove who is small and oh so very cute!
I am so happy!
I am so relieved!
I am so wierd!

This mind of mine

Sitting here pondering while I am supposed to be studying.

Im on the downhill slide now.Its so easy now.It just happens,I am not struggling with it anymore.One more semester to go.........its so very exciting and now I am entertaining my future with a little more intention.

In november I qualify.I am leaving Melbourne.That much is certain,because I deem it so.
I am already working on manifesting what that place looks like,what my work will be and how happy I will be.

A heavy cloud has been hanging over me.I am looking at returning to myself again.I have lived a stressful,busy life for almost 4 years now,and its time to take it slower.Remove the unwanted "stuff" and get lighter.

I am so grateful to my family for supporting me,but its time to move away from thier life and start creating my own.

My life looks different to thiers. I have different values and desires and ways of doing things.
Its time to start that.

Im pulling pictures of what my future looks like and holding them in my mind.

My life in the future will have time for love, time for social, time for creating my dreams and manifesting a positive life.It will have time for others and time for me to restore.

Okay back to study..........

Raise me up

Raise me up
There’s no victims here,
No one to blame,
Just a maze of love that got lost in some game,
Just move in closer babe , move in.
When you gonna let it go?
When you gonna bring me home?,
When you gonna raise me up again?,
Don’t want to hang on the line and feel so bare,
Don’t wanna reach out when you’re not even there,
Can’t you see I’m waiting here so patiently?
But my resolve can’t fight much more than this,
When you gonna let it go?
When you gonna bring me home?
When you gonna raise me up again?
Can’t see the sun so bright right now
I wanna believe that it’s gonna shine down
But when I’m lost like a child,
With no hand to hold, I only see grey
When you gonna let it go?
When you gonna bring me home?
When you gonna Raise me up?
There no victim here.

When no-one is aorund............

I think I was enjoying the moment and busting a move here, not insulting the band as it may appear
I dont even know this lady but who cares in the name of dance.We loved the moment!
Diggin the groove!


The house is quiet.
No children.
No Family.
No rules but my own.

Agenda??

Dance like no-one is watching.........( well NO-ONE is, perhaps except the cat)

I have realised that when it comes to me, the mirror and an empty house I am a sex kitten with an esteem of 1000 supermodels.........(hmmm is that good?) Well you kind of see what Im getting at.
Its a wonderful release.
The Music pumped loud,the toosh jiggling the smile that cant help but play across my face and the energy that I thought had upped and left years ago returns for a brief while.
Its in moments like that I wish I had followed a career in dancing.
Youre lost in the music.
The movement and the energy take over and nothing else exists.

Im sure Im not the only gal who just loves doing this.
Its better than a date out with a cute guy.....really........
Ive posted a few pics of hilarious me going into the zone at a recent party.
Silly Me!

Dreams to come to fruition..........

I just looked in my bank account and I have $27.
Im a student I guess thats okay,but it does send you into a bit of a funk.
So here I am, doing a FREAKING RIDICULOUS nutrition assignment that I have no interest in but have to do..YAWN YAWN YAWN, its such a bore.
Student acupuncturists enrolling in the new course next year dont have to do it but me oh my here am I slogging away at this stupid ridiculous wretched assignment that needs referncing from primary sources every other friggin sentence and Ive read articles til they are coming out of my ears and am spending FAR FAR FAR too much time on something that I dont give a toss about.In fact I think I have written more words here bitching about it than I have actually done allllllllllllllllllll day.

Ah well, I needed a break. I have been at it since 6am (daylight svings is such a joy when your body lets you sleep in,which mine didnt.....)

Anyway I digress so far from what I wanted to write aboutthat I might as well have flown to England.

I have $27.

This starts me fantasing about when I dont have $27 anymore but when I have a little more. When affluence in a financial sense (I am so abundant in lots of other areas of my life.....)comes a knockin on my door.When student life finishes(although I am not sure I ever really do want to stop studying,but a good long break will do nicely)and I am in the market for a little more earning potential.
I am dreaming about fabulous new outfits,shoes,trips,concerts,dinner out and visits to the hairdressers,a carefree book purchase, and a better car that doesnt scare the hell out of me every time I go over 80kms because I think im gonna blow off the road.
Im even fantasising about toasters and blenders that I might purchase to make breakfast when I am no longer living under someone elses roof. OOOh and then I start thinking about all the beautiful furniture I would like to adorn my home with and all the lovely bits and pieces I will buy to make MY home MY home.
Ahhhhhhh........its so near!
So while I sit here friggin about with Lysine and referencing like a bunny rabbit on heat there are those sweet moments of pure indulgence and materialism.

Surrender

The last post was a bit morbid so I wanted to update.

I sleep with 2 angels next to my bed. One rose quartz the other Amythest. They are there to remind me that I am always being backed up.There is always something bigger than me running the show.
In the morning when I remember, I open up a dialogue in my head with the guys upstairs.I ask for certain things and I hope they listen.
Its not always about asking and recieving though.There are times when I just listen.

I was reminded after a conversation with a good friend of mine a few days ago that in times of stress ( of which I have to admit are pretty constant for me due to the fact that I have a lot going on in my life , say like 12 assignments, a job, a full time degree and a health condition that always puts me in a state of back footedness)there is absolutely NOTHING to be done.Its at times like these that NON ACTION should be chosen over action and surrender adopted over control.

The universe has a plan. Its so much more loving and intelligent than I.If i just take my hands off the steering wheel and stop controlling I might allow it to see where its taking me.I just have to stop steering fro a while.

As my friend said, and I agree, how can we hear the beautiful orchestra of the angels when we are constantly talking over it.

So I am in a state of surrender.Being an observer rather than a doer and taking a break from MAKING everything okay.

I am really happy to be reminded of this lesson and it releases me from alot of what goes whirling around in my head.

Bugger

I called in sick today.
I just couldnt face the day.My tummy hurts, my heart hurts and I feel flat.
Im in a tricky situation.
I havent learnt the skills to this date on how to deal with aforementioned tricky situation.
I think I have made a mistake,but thats done and nothing can change that,but,its how I move forward that is now the question.........
I have attempted to correct the mistake, but the person i need to correct it with wont let me speak to them.
In the past I would usually deal with a situation like this by just letting go.
Chasing after the problem might make it worse.
I believe this thing is too valuable to let go of.
Reactions are funny things.I told myself years ago that reacting to situations was a heinous crime.Now I find myself doing exactly that. I am human. To err is human,but how to correct your mistake is like trying to be superhuman.
I think I might just go to bed and hug my wheatbag for a while longer.
Time seems to be passing so slowly though...........

Festival and other things............

I organised a street Festival.
It was a great event.SO many people came.Easily a couple of thousand.Alot of people came up to me congratulating me on my success.That part was great. What was also great was looking at the car park and seeing it filled with colour and excitement and alot of people enjoying themselves.I helped to create that.Something I can look back on and be very proud of.

The flip side of the event was the abuse that I recieved from people about the car park being closed from 3pm. One woman swore at me. Some traders were extremely pissed off,even though they had been informed several times. They couldnt seem to look past the fact that although it may be a tad quiet for an hour or two,that after that there would be a MASSIVE influx of people and that this would be HUGE for thier business. I recieved alot of negativity at the start.This didnt help my esteem, but I managed to push that away. I have now only heard good things from the traders. Some cafes sold out of everything they had...... The exposure the festival created to our community of local shops wont just be an on the night thing.It will continue for some time I think.

Anyway I was just the coordinator/facilitator for the event.What people decide after this is thier decision.

The council were impressed and offered me a bench mark as to how succeful it was,which was good,because I have never done anything like this before and had no idea of what was a good turn out.Apparently it was good! I am happy.

I am experiencing some post fetival blues at the mo.The adrenaline has subsided and its back to the norm.

On a more exciting note but not detailed.........there is a fella in the works.He is wonderful.More about that when the time is right!

Deep End

As some of you may know I have just started a new job.
Its so perfect for me.
I am working in a Natural therapies environment as P.A to the owner. There is a shop and 2 clinics.
She is a clinical Hypnotherapist, who a few years ago decided to take it one step further and open a shop and then a clinic.
The business has grown faster than she could implement policies and procedures,so its a bit 'higgedly Piggedly' and she needs help.

I started just before Christmas and did 2 days training before becoming acting Clinic Manager and class coordinator while the wonderful woman who usually does this job was away on a much needed break.

My boss ( an ideas lady) mentions to me that we are doing a Street Fetival at the end of February.Its a communty Health and Happiness festival.She gives me a few things to do.............before I know it I am now coordinating a massive event with an expected turn out of 1000 people plus.

Ive organised sports clubs and dance groups and spinning wheel prizes,market stalls,first aid,pamphlets .........the list goes on.

Ive never done anything like this before. Its big.I am talking to a lot of people. Its sort of my baby.

At first I took it on with gusto.I still have gusto dont get me wrong but then suddenly it has grown to a size where its really quite major.Im proud of myself for finding out that I can do things like this.I am learning sooooooooooo much, but suddenly it seems so big that today I got quite scared.

I am responsible.

Watch this space.
27th Feb.
Think of me!

Im not Keen, but certainly interested

(Blue) Nervous system
(Green) Digestive & excretory system
(Red) Circulatory system
(orange) Respiratory system
(Yellow) Reproductive system

1 Fang (chelicera)
2 Venom gland
3 Brain
4 Pumping stomach
5 Forward aorta branch
6 Digestive cecum
7 Heart
8 Midgut
9 Malphigian tubules
10 Cloacal chamber
11 Rear aorta
12 Spinneret
13 Silk gland
14 Trachea
15 Ovary (female)
16 Book lung
17 Nerve cord
18 Legs
19 Pedipalp

Today seemed to be a day where I just kept bumping into Spiders. I admit;it certainly isn't a favourite past time of mine but I couldn't help thinking there was some meaning behind it all.

Let me just clarify here. I woke up . There was a spider on my ceiling. Not too big.Easily manageable. I got to work and went to make a cuppa. Spider on the tap. Small. Kind of cute and certainly manageable. Okay , so a switch goes off in my head. Hmmm 2nd spider of the day. Interesting, but forgettable.

I drive to other office at work and pull over randomly behind a parked car to take off my thongs (shoes for those of you who are not living in Australia) which are slipping on the clutch while I drive. There dangling like a huge moster/ beauty/fine specimen of its type......whatever you would like to think of these 8 legged creatures ; is the biggest huntsman I have ever seen. Just hanging out, dangling from the tow port on the back of the car that I just happen to randomly pull in behind.NOT FORGETTABLE.

Brain is definitely now aware that spiders are the theme of the day.I make a perfunctionary vague gaze around my own car (insides of car , as there is no escaping if one decides to land on my lap or lollop onto my head while a swinging from its silky rope from my rear view mirror while I am in the act of driving at 100kms an hour, but also vague because one is not really wanting to look too hard just in case the very thought of thinking it will make it suddenly appear in front of me)

Anyway 3 sightings in a short space of time. Gets me thinking. Whats the symbolism. I get home and take a look and I find this lovely picture. Well, that one up there.
fascinating truly fascinating. Now I truly understand why I am wary of these creatures.Wouldn't you be if you realised its Trachea was in its arse????

And Malphigian tubules.............well to quote Wikipedia

Most spiders convert nitrogenous waste products into uric acid, which can be excreted as a dry material. Malphigian tubules ("little tubes") extract these wastes from the blood in the hemocoel and dump them into the cloacal chamber, from which they are expelled through the anus.[6] Production of uric acid and its removal via Malphigian tubules are a water-conserving feature that has evolved independently in several arthropod lineages that can live far away from water

And then theres the Pedipalps..................well I never................
those pincery thingy-me-bobs have a proper name...........Fascinating truly fascinating.

So I feel good. I got to know something that I disliked a little better today.

I got to know something that scares me, and maybe wont scare me so much the next time......... if I can rationalise that its an 8 legged creature with Pedipalps, ovaries and Malphigian Tubules............I won't hold my breathe but it was still fascinating!

The year

Its not a resolution.
I dont do resolutions!
I have decided to rename them VISIONS.
My visions for the upcoming year

1. Good Health.I envisage resolving the headache I have had for the last 5 months.

2. Lots of Bodywork-I am severly lacking in good therapeutic touch.

3. Non escalation-I dont want to dramatise issues.I dont want to get caught up in the rising tensions of issues.I plan to observe them and not attach myself to drama.If someone wants me to attach myself to thier drama it just aint gonna happen.I am working on supporting and letting go. Myself and others.

4. Nurturing self. Quiet time. Time doing nothing. This nothing time often becomes reflection and inspiration time.

5. A healthy relationship with myself,family and friends and hey possibly even a man.The man part had been put on the back burner for sometime due to Uni and ill health,but it would be very nice to develop a relationship with a man who respects my boundaries, is independent, caring and talented in dealing with me!

6. I will qualify this year as a Dr of Acupuncture.This is very exciting but there is alot to organise in the way of registrations and new homes and I am hoping some good time to take a break and see some long awaiting friends from afar.

7. Creating positive inner chatter.

8.I have a new job!!! I am now a P.A to a succesful Hypnotherapist and business owner of "Simply Natural Therapies".This is a wonderful opportunity for me to further my experience in the field of Alternative therapies.It also means I dont work in hospitality anymore! Yehaw.....something I have been working towards for a while now! Thank you Thank you Thank you!

9. Affluence/Abundance on all levels.

10.Positive mental attitude about me and life.Sadly life this year has battered me around a little and its eroded away my vitality on a physical and mental level.This needs restoring.

Okay thats enough to be going on with. I have fixed these things in my mind and have put them out there. This is going to be a big year for me. Lots of endings and some bloody big beginnings!
Happy Happy New Year!