Life in Thailand

Its been a beautiful journey since I left Tokyo.

I feel like a different woman.
I feel
confident ,
energetic ,
sparkly
and
vibrant.

I thought the move from Japan might be a little fraught. I thought I might experience some kind of shock in terms of environment , people ,food or myself …a reverse culture shock you might say.
It hasn’t been any of the above.
Its flowed and moved beautifully.
I managed to find myself a temporary family while on my travels in Thailand . A warm place to just BE . A fun place to just BE , an accepting place to just BE and an interesting place to just BE.
Let me set the scene if you would………….imagine idyllic beach ,blue skies and sunshine , bronze bodies sprawled half dressed upon the sand.
Now imagine the beach and none of the rest………but add a touch of quirkiness , a dash of sincerity , twizzle that with a monsoon of all monsoons and add a large jug of fabulous folks and you have a cocktail ala Bamboo.
Any clearer??
Its about the only place in Thailand that I recommend anyone to go to. It attracts good people.Interesting people , people in search of peace within and without,people in search of home away from home,people in search of connection and people in search of answers to questions asked deep inside of themselves. A pretty powerful place . Things happen to you there ……….like a cosmic shake up I guess…………you have to be careful what you ask for there…….invariably you get it.
It rained for most of my trip………….I had mould growing on my clothes ,I slept on a damp bed, I wasn’t dry for nearly 2 weeks, I couldn’t go anywhere as the seas were too big. Bungalows slipped down from the hills ,bridges were swallowed up by the rains but it was perfect.
Somehow we ( I will introduce you to the proverbial we in a little while) made it through. We talked ,danced ,laughed ,cried, played a lot of games and ate mountains of food………..ahh the food……….challenged each other ,helped each other and a lot of times got completely toasted……..
So where do I begin???
I always feel it’s the people that make a place,that make the experience………so lets start there.

Taka.

Japanese – Brazillian .
Gorgeous to look at .
Beautiful accent.



Likes Potato chips and “Sudoku” but rarely managed to finish one.
Loves to beat a woman at any game and always gloats when he does.
The bearer of news from other restaurants and bars and often cannot stay in one place for too long before quietly moving on to the next and returning with news of the next big party . …..



Michael

American
Tall
Goofy


Likes Women, party massage ,party Yoga, Frisbee golf , phad thai , playing games, anything to do with ancient classical civilization,crosswords and anything involving being “together”.
Generally the seed of lightness,enthusiasm and laughter with lots of love and affection for everyone.
Great to share breakfast in the morning with. ……even better to do crosswords in the afternoon with. A wonderful person to hang out with ,many thanks for allt he confidence and love.


Dave

British
Not so tall
Sleeps a long time and likes a good English breakfast with all the trimmings! Likes Chess,likes to play games HIS way,likes to debate,loves hugs.
Loved it when he told me how nice I looked and asked me to help him with his healing needs. But what I loved most about Dave was that he was surprisingly in touch with his feminine side and getting more so………..with fabulous pants abound!


Christian

Canadian
Beautiful

Likes to keep busy with things,made a beautiful cribbage board which gave us endless entertainment in the rain.Strong and grounded and really great conversationist. Doing a great job re-inventing her world and saying goodbye to all the surplus. Loved spending time with her being girlie and not so girlie.Morning chats and evening beers were always better with her about!


Bronya

South African
Stunning

What can I say about Bronya.Quite possibly one of the strongest women I have met.Heartful,loving,sometimes lost but always thoughtful.An amazing giggle and so creative.Making it through the storm and finding her way.Piecing her life back to gether again and finding joy.


Lloyd
British
very quirky
Thoughtful

Lloyd is wonderful.Dry, warm sense of humour with a deep thinking mind that is kept to himself.Next to me the first up in the morning.Has spent many years in India and other places that are secluded and special.Good for a banter and loves to think in fractuals!

Scratch
British
Very happy to be in touch woth his femminie side
Says "fuck trust ,bring on unconditonal love"
Is discovering all the time and makes brilliant animal balloons.Has retired already at 30 and loves to paint his toes and wear skirts.The best hugger ever and comforts the scared.


Sarem
Austrian
A hunk

A warm,peaceful,strong spirit.Incredibly atractive and a beautiful smile.A strong body with a huge appetite.Sometimes childlike and often an enigma to me .His smile lights up a room .A good Yoga teacher with a big following.

Philip
Austrian
Young
Learning

Philip found alot of himself while in Had yuan I believe.Quiet at times as though wrestling with something and at others so vivacious and sweet.Liked to steal peoples lighters and I am sure had a stash hidden in his bungalow.....thoughtful and kind and terrible at playing games!

Nancy
Warm
spirited
easy going

Nancy is the kind of girl that would get on with anyone anywhere.We enjoyed frequent heart chats and shared some good music together. In the trhrows of writing a book and self publishing.


So these are the people who were my family for a while and feel they deserve a special mention in my blog,because they were part of my cleansing after Tokyo and all contributed to me feeling a whole heap better .Thank you.

Oh and by the way...............

I have learnt something along the way that I would like to share with you.

Presence and Radiance.

Think about what that might mean to you.

I will explain when the world slows a little.

Ciao Ciao

I'm alive and Well

I am here.............I am in Oz.........Its wierd,wonderful and right now my head is spinning from all that has happened in the last 6 weeks!
Thailand to Melbourne.
Hoorah.the fruits of my labour are now right here with me.
I am set, raring to go and ready to be a student.
Benji the intrepid is brilliant and taking a beating from the twin boys that I live with but he is taking it in his stride and just plays dead alot of the time.....hes a useful asset to my bug/spider freaked aunt.He ignored me for a day or two and now is back to his loving ,sticky ways!He seems mellower but that happens when you travel.A little wiser and easy going.
As for me ............yeah,its good . Theres much to tell but with the approach to Christmas and the madness all around me ( Noddy,Thomas the tank engine,the wiggles and much energy expelling) it will have to wait a few more days but details of what has happened to me since leaving Japan are on the way ..........
Until then my lovlies I wish you all a WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS .

In the right place

Briefly...........
Its rained and rained and rained ,my clothes are mouldy,the bed is damp..........but I am having the time of my life.
I am in the right place now .

Rocket woman

Its today. Its Thursday the 17th November.I am leaving!
I have only wonderful things to say about the people who have shared my life over the last few months.
I have been overwhelmed by the support and kindness you have showed.........
Thank-you.

Its Happening........

Its really happening! The Visa is ready! I have booked my flight and I am out of here!
Its a mixture of feelings. In fact I am probably the strangest human cocktail going now!

I am of course extremely sad to be leaving Japan,but the other ingredient is excitement,fear,a healthy dose of cluelessness and a whole heap of anticipation.

BRING IT ON!

It will not be said again!

Okay dear readers,Well the ones that know that I am planning a getaway from Japan.
My bags are packed.In fact thay have been patiently sitting for a while now.I am not quite sure of my departure date yet.I am waiting for my visa.It could be next week.Thats my plan.
I feel like I am living in 3 different places already.I am trying to stay in the moment though.
So if one more person (especially the ones who have heard the long labourious tales of my Visa application) asks me have I bought my ticket yet ?,or when are you leaving ?,I will do a mary alice and stomp away.You have been warned.
The short answer is ,I DONT KNOW,but very soon.As soon as the embassy contact me and tell me my visa is ready you wont see me for the flurry of dust.........believe me as much as I love you all ,goodbyes suck and its been a long time coming..........

Inside,out..................

He is gone.........I left him in his little cage at the cargo department at Narita. He was calm and relaxed..........well by then at any rate.It was a big day for him.Planes ,trains and taxis.He hates cars.Likes trains and well,I dont know how he feels about planes.I wasnt with him.
The whole process of getting an animal to another country is laborious,and also painful in the fact that he is now 30 days in a strange place with strange people. He is either going to hate me or love me when we meet next.........he may even not remember me??? Although I have been told that that wont be the case.He may be a little wild.But already my cat is taking after his mum!! Dontknow many pets as well travelled as him!!
I felt so torn saying goodbye but on hearing that he arrived safely and rather verbal,I am now a little calmer. Good Luck Benji!!! See you soon!!

Takaii

I had to have a full Medical Examination today for my Visa to Australia.Okay ,they say its 21 thousand (100 pounds) for the examination and x-ray.By Tokyo private Clinic standard I felt that that was expensive but expected.
So while I am having my blood pressure taken and height and weight assesed etc,etc,etc the nurse asks me what exactly I will be doing in Australia .......I tell her I am doing a B.A in Health Science and that I will be studying specifically Acupuncture.........She tells me that I will need to have blood tests taken for HIV and Hepatitus antigen......fine I say.......She then says that this will be extra.Okay I say,how much is extra.........wait,wait.........just a little more.......for one vial of my blood to get to the lab and be tested costs 14,000 yen(75 pounds) I am shocked,astounded and quite frankly appalled .........Its a student visa for christ sakes.I am gnna be a student for 4 years........does this tell you that I will be rolling in cash and dancing the nights away bathing in Champagne???
I am sick of professions that deal with health care or other sensitive services that we absolutely need charging the crap outta you just because they know you have no other choice.Its shameful.

He is clever!

You have to check out this guy!
He is hysterical.I particularly like the one about communication!
How many times have we stopped ourselves from saying what we really wanna say!? Well here is the answer to all your pent up anger!
Go on have a giggle.
I also like Annie the cat (Halloween /psycho).

http://www.zefrank.com

Za Spoons

I love rhythm........It sits in your stomach and rises up .Closing my eyes it takes me to a place in my centre and grows like a beautiful flower,finally blossoming into an expression of dance or movement or pure being. Its an expression and a communication.
I have played the Djembe for years. I was trained in Western Africa,I travelled through lesser known states and challenged the Masters to show me what they knew.It was never easy.
"Woman dance, dont drum".........so I danced.......a little.......eventually I pushed myself onto them ,challenged them to change thier tradition.Perhaps I shouldnt have done that but I was there to learn the rhythms of Africa.I wanted to learn Liberty,a rhythm that signified the independance from France. It was hard.It didnt flow in 4/4 it was off beat,it was complicated and beautiful. I observed thier reluctance and then thier wonder and pride that I could do it- a woman.
Yesterday we played to the beat of a great little accoustic band ,not with drums -with spoons! For such a simple little tool it has many uses.........Yai spoons....I think I may take a pair with me now as the norm.More than that and the same with the drum.It brings people together.Like I said its a communication and a bonding force.A smile emerges on the faces of those around you-Its fun,its pure joy.......Thank you spoons for being so simple.
I am now contemplating 101 uses of spoons in book form.......any ideas???

Pieces of Me

Hoorah.....Hooray!
A piece of me has arrived in Australia.........I recieved news today that the box that I sent almost 8 weeks ago has finally arrived.It was the box I was most worried about.It had lots of wood sculptures and plates and photo frmaes and pieces of my travels and time spent in warm interesting places.
Australia is very strct about this kind of thing and we were fully expecting to get a call saying that half of it had been taken away and confiscated!
I think it must have been the buddha I packed in the box.He must have protected the "things" I am most attatched too..........Hoorah for Australia ,Hoorah for my little wooden bits and pieces that will make my home more like home........Hoorah for a piece of me that is now settled into Australia! Hoorah!

Coming Together

Its all coming together at long last..........The fruits of my labor are starting to sprout forth!

Its been a difficult month.I have been stressed out to the max.Laughed a few times so hard I thought i would cry ,its been border line Hysteria.........

I have filled out so many forms and sent a menagerie of e-mails to officials.

I have so far organised my darling cat to leave Japan on the 1st November.Australia has very strict rules about what they do and dont allow into the country . It has been a host of visits to the Vet and mounds of paperwork and permit getting and spondoolies being dished and even measuring of the cat from head to toe and toe to head.Certificate A's and Certificate B's and certificates to prove certificates A and B.Its been a mind whirl. I was told that he is a little overweight which at this stage is not a concern as he will have to sit in quarantine for 30 days in Australia! Little sweetheart.I am so sorry to you for that ,but I promise you a better quality of life on the other end.Please dont forget me and for god sake dont die on me! I have spent a small fortune on getting you there ,that it would break my wallet, but most importantly my heart.Although dont doubt his courage and stregnth.Only the other day I caught him drinking out of the loo! Tuesday will be a hard day, as well as a relief that he is on his way! I have to take him to Narita where he will be seen by an Animal Quarantine inspection Vet who will thoroughly check that I have followed all procedures and that he is fully vaccinated to Australian standards.He will then seal him into his cage .( Question to self........how do I make sure benji has done most of his business before that?? I am pretty sure I wouldnt be able to cross my legs for 12 hours)

After this I will take him yowling (I am pretty sure ....) across to the cargo section where I will check him in for his adventure. He can only fly in a cargo plane .They will not allow him in the belly of a passenger plane.After this we will part our ways. My stomache will clench and I will become a wreck.Thankfully I have company.A good shoulder to support me for the journey back ,and more.

And I thought I was exhausted...........

Gawd, I am exhausted.........but I realised today that some deal with it differently to others,some will battle on quietly and crash at the end of the day,some will crash briefly on the train,some will crash on other peoples sofas ,or others will do what I saw today but I am guessing not too many.
She was standing against the door of the train ,she fell asleep ,she crashed..........completely........ onto the floor of the train,spread eagled postion,full body slam with the hard train floor.It was hard not to giggle,perhaps embarrased for the poor girl.There she lay Keitai still in hand, meek little eyes looking at at us who all were looking down at her.An odd perspective I am sure. I mean its not everyday that you get to see the world fromt he floor of a train huh?
Of course , she got off at the next stop apologising profusely to us all........No one said a word.......I wonder what it was like down there for the 2 minutes that she lay there? I certainly think her suit would have needed a dry clean.She left in a half bedraggled, dusty, dirty state.
Yeah ,I am tired but not that tired.

Recollections

Saturday.
The last day in Yotsuya.The home I have had for the longest period in 10 years. The circumstances of leaving sad . The future looking bright.The following of a lifelong dream.
I lay in bed that night feeling upset and sad that 2 people cant work it out in a kind and compassionate way.Sad that people are capable of such acts of dis-respect and able to inflict pain in such large amounts that it is hard to imagine that there was any love there at all.
My home was important to me. It has been, and in the future, will be the place where I can escape and take off the mask of the day. Its where I can warm myself and pull together the happenings of the day.
My home in Tokyo was built on love and a desire to make a warm place to be. There were many happy memories there.Amazing parties.Yummy dinners.Love shared under the sheets. The walls have seen much. The stories they could tell are most likely more eloquent than my own.They will no longer see Sarah anymore.She has gone.All remnants removed and safely on thier way to Australia .
Is it silly to be so attatched to a home? It was so much more than a home.It had a character and a heartbeat.
Well my dear home.Goodbye.

I am he and he is I

I relate to this little guy so much.......

It was amazing to see the instinct kick in when these little guys touch the sand.There was no confusion about which direction to head in.The Ocean! And fast!
We had to run around chasing these little guys before they swam away! Oh and I have to admit a little playtime too!

Party in plural.........

Wow! I didnt take into account in my planner that I would have to attend so many Sayonara parties.
I am starting to realise that Japanese just love to sayonara way before the event and all the way leading up to the departure! They dont want just one goodbye but several! This entails many late nights, lots of drinking and a whole heap of legnthy spiels about how wonderful you are and how much your spirit will be missed.Its tough.How will I possibly manage???!!!

Turtellinis!!!!!!!

Okay, Okay.....it was a few months ago but I am dreadfully behind on this blog with all thats been going on and I did promise more photos and more stories.......sorry for the delay!

So off i went to Malaysia.I already posted a part of the journey! The part that took sooooooo long but man it was worth it when we finally did!
We were fortunate enough to be there at a time when the Turtle hatching season was in full swing and even luckier to be a part of the whole conservation project that they have going on there.
1 in 100 turtles survives.Its abyssmal that these cute little guys have such a tough start to life and some dont even make it outta thier holes without getting munched on by some looming Monitor lizard or by an army of bull ants let alone the thought of how they cope when they start thier new little lives in the ocean.
The conservation project is a way of hopefully increasing these numbers. Suprisingly though the project in its practice is very primitive.
As you walk along the beach you see a multitude of sticks sticking out of the sand with a date.You approximate 10 weeks after that date and start digging up the hole to see if any of the little guys have started hatching.If so ,you grab them,put them in a box before they can make it into the ocean and keep them for a week or so.When they are a little older ,harder and not so vulnerable they are released into the ocean at night to go it alone .

Silver linings..........

They say that every cloud has a silver lining. I believe that to be true.

I have been having possibly the most challenging time of my life so far.There is so much pain,grief,anger,confusion and general mayhem happening........It will all come to a close soon.
It hasnt helped that I have been blind for so long. I cant believe that I have been the fool I have been.Blinded so terribly by love . "What a loser" I heard myself saying to one of my friends the other day.........
Well the lining came when I finally saw with eyes that were willing to see . It didnt matter how often my friends and people who actually didnt know me that well or hardly at all ,told me ,I just couldnt or wouldnt see it.
I was happy to have the painful realisaton that left me crushed and still leaves me feeling the most miserable and most silliest of fools ,because as the song goes
"I once was blind but now I see........."

Goodbye

Its time to say goodbye my friend.
There were good times,mostly challenging.
I tried it all.I did all I could.
What more could I pull from my bag?
It was never enough.

I loved your spirit.
I loved what you added to my life

I was torn apart from what you took from it.
My spirit faded.
My dreams which I placed in your hands for safe keeping,discarded.

The music ,the magical moments too easily forgotton ,
The faithful heart betrayed.

Its time to go now love.
Goodbye.

Natural!

There is always a pure mountain stream shower to wash away the heat of the day! Man this was cold! A welcome relief from the hot sweat of the blazing sun~

The journey

I have travelled pretty extensively around the world on many types of vehicles be it with 4 wheels ,2 wheels,16 wheels, starting with 4 finishing with 3.I have done the 2 wheels plus 4 hooves.The 2 wheels plus 2 feet ,the no wheels ,the wings ,the wings plus propellers, the wings plus propellers plus skis.The world is full of wierd and wonderful types of transportation and now I am a little ambivalent to it all.
This story however starts with 4 wheels. 4 wheels in a taxi.
It had been a long day the kind you wish had ended the moment you opened your eyes.Sorely hurting and hungover with bad dreams.A long night witht he sound of gentle snores wafting into my top bunk as the train clacked along the tracks. I woke feeling I needed to shake myself down ,clean up my act. Give myself a damn good shake and say "girl it aint that bad,the sun is shining and look at the scenery". The scenery was beautiful and as I supped on my lipton milkless tea and watched the passing limestone formations and the waking of the land around with colour flashing here and there as people started to work the land.The sun bold but tempered by the breeze as I sat on my little step watching the Thai land pass me by. I afforded myself some excitement.I longed for the beach.To feel the sand beneath my feet massaging away the tension.The sound of the ocean matching and calming my breath.The sun on my skin revitalising my tired soul.
Our stop a mere 2 hours away and a short taxi drive would then lead me to my solice.
The train stops ,we find ourself at the border.We clumsily carry our luggage fromt he train ,puffing and panting we make it through customs.
"so where are you heading too?" the guard asks."Peerenthain Islands........where can we gat a taxi?" He laughs."Its a long drive " to which I reply because I have done heaps of research, "well an hour, right?".
"No maam its about a 12 hour taxi drive from here"
Silence
More silence.The pot starts to boil,my face took a rainbow of expressions........
After much banter and complete disbelief we finally get back on the train for another 3 hours and make our way down to Buttterworth where we are told we can get an overnight bus or its a 4 hour taxi drive to our destination.DELAY DELAY DELAY...more time to sit ,sit with thoughts sit with myself .Sit waiting waiting for what?
I decided that we must take a taxi. We arrange this with ease but in my haste to not sit with myself a moment longer ,to just get there ,I failed to check the Vehicle.
Its old.
It doesnt look like it could make it to the supermarket for a carton of milk let alone across the width of Malaysia. Damn it.Get in .Do it.Lets just keep moving.
He tells me its better to not have the aircon on . "We go faster". Okay ,just get us there.
The scenery is stunning .We drive through the highlands for 3 hours in a taxi that plods rather than cruises.I think on many occasions on our up hill climb we almost stop.The tension is rising.My father and mother in the back silent.Me in the front holding on to my own tension like a child who wont be parted with her teddy bear.
The up hills are slow.The down hills are free wheeling.Its petrifying for my parents.My father especially.Hes always at the wheel and now he is not in control and in asia drivers have this style of driving that is admirable as well as down right life threatening.We cruise at 80 kms behind other cars with just a sniff of a space between us.A sudden brake and we would be pancake.My mother asks me to ask the driver to slow down as we careeer around corners which IF the brakes happenend to fail or a tire burst we would find ourselves getting an ariel view of the Highlands.
This is a pointless excersise. This is how he drives.
4 hours later and 4 hours more of nail biting corners we make it. We stumble dishevelled from the cab.My father sighs.I know its relief. It was a 4 hour rollercoater drive.Mentally for me.Physically for my folks. I am used to Asia and the way they drive.I am ambivalent.What really struck me throughout this experience was that I was made to wait and sit with myself for a total of 3 days .My parents bags arrived a day later than them.We arrived a day later than that to our destination. It was all beyond my control and I had to give it up.I had to hear my inner voice ,sit with my little girl while she grieved, when all I wanted to do was to get there. I am still not there. Its a journey but I am much more present now.

I am here.........

I am ,I am ,its just that life is terribly hectic, throw in a few computer and camera download problems a mix of partying hard at the weekend (which by the way was terribly fun.Good to dance and wiggles those glutes)Add a dash of scattiness and a sprig of oh my god I have so much to do and there you have a recipe for no blog!
Soon my friends I will have some very exciting things to shareand some even more fabulous pics! Soon...............

Readiness

My angel cards tell me that today is a day of readiness......... Okay I am ready! I closed a few deals this week.The final chapter has been written and stamped THE END.
It feels good.
I can move with ease and there is a feeling rising within me. Its difficult to iterate but it feels like grace and freedom are returning to my step.I feel lighter.I am not wading but floating.I am not pushing or pulling but gliding.I am not stuckfast but have a dance in my step.
So for the first time in a long time I do feel ready. I thought about what it meant to be ready and how that was appropriate in my life. At first I thought it was about the move but then I realised it meant a whole menagerie of different things. I am ready to be present in the now.I am ready to reveal.I am ready to open my wings and fly to places I have been hesitant to explore. I am ready to be by myself .I am ready to be with someone. I am ready to be slow and ready to expend energy .I am ready to be a little sad at times and ready to be abundantly happy. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am ready to be with Sarah again!

Back in Town.........

Phew......Im back. I jumped on a plane and then a bus and then a taxi and found myself back at home.Its that easy!
I knew this time though that it would be the last time to do that trip,at least for the next 4 or 5 years!
I have been so caught up in plans of leaving and other rollercoaster events that I didnt realise how much I have become attatched to the bright lights and the hum of the ever churning Tokyo engine. Theres no doubt that its going to be a great move and a wonderful opportunity but there will be a sadness in leaving the throb of a city like Tokyo.
It has been the first place I have settled in since leaving the U.K 6 years ago and is the nearest I have had to home in longer.
Someone asked me on sunday "what will you miss most about Tokyo?" at first I said the trains and then with a little more thought i realised that being a foreigner in Tokyo despite many pitfalls is tremendous. I love existing in a world with a suprise around every corner.I love living in a culture I dont understand. I love that Japanese wont talk about emotion but they will get crazy in a karaoke room and beat you vocal chords down with a belting song. I love the diversity and the colour.I love that I can be in nature and 2 days seems like a week. I will also miss Hanami........the most beautiful of natures gifts to Japan.ahhhhh..........the memories wont leave ..I am rich to have been experienced so many beautiful people places and events in Tokyo........Tokyo has taught me that even though I live in a city where the Yen rules I dont have to run with that. I can have simplicity and happiness without all that ponce!
I will leave Tokyo a stonger ,wiser independant woman. Tokyo and its lessons has given me much,but then again I guess I must remind myself that i have been the master of my ship and will continue to be so.

Just bursting!!!

I am bursting with joy and wonder! I have had 2 wonderful days ............ Yesterday I went diving which was a small personal triumph,my confidence had been battered and it took me a little time to get back to it but I did yesterday! It was awesome.Walls of beautiful dripping coral. Fish in abundance.Eye to eye with bat fish that follow you curiously. Clown fish challenging you somewhat proudly through the soft swaying aneonomes.The sound of your own breathe keeping you balanced in mind and in body............
Today quie possibly the most beutiful experience I have had for a long time .A snorkelling trip with black tipped reef sharks ,Turtles and lastly and by far the most incredible thing I have seen so far nests of baby turtles on the beach...........there are pics and more details to come but I couldnt wait to share in my joy that has been bursting out of me for the last few hours!
Miss indigo is happy! Nature renews so much in our souls.

THE ISLANDS

We finally made it.It took a long time to get here. Lost baggage ,wrong trains and long taxi journeys spanning the width of malaysia BUt god damn it we made it.Its beautiful.
Yesterday I did my PADI refresher and did a shore dive .Today I am going on another dive. Its a different world down there.Its silent apart from your breath pacing throught the regulator and its you and all that space communing with the fish and finding joy in watching thier world and moving away from your own!
Thats all for now.

Pool Party and more..............

It was a beautiful hot day ...............a little too hot for my fragile head after a night partying!
Luckily a pool party was planned.Cheese ,biscuits a little hair of the dog and lots of floating on plastic rings and penile looking float toys to send giggles echoing . It was a nice day.

The more................. It seems I was privvy to a painful sight .More than I needed to see.More than I wanted to know.It was obvious that it would happen but I didnt need the details.I dont think I will ever look over a balcony again ithout feeling some kind of hesitation.
No matter how bad a relationship gets or how much you wanna get out,you never want to see your man with another woman.It hurts ,its way too painful.
I wish I could leave Tokyo sooner.

Courage

I am in blog block mode.
I am trying to wade past all the emotion to get to the outside.I have done some great things in the last 3 weeks but cant move outside of myself enought o write about them.
It may take some time.
I need courage.Lots of it.I am taking courage out the door with me everyday,wearing the face and getting on.
Some days its good and some days its not.There is no doubt that this is all exactly as it should be.There are no thoughts of return.Its just grieving time.

If someone had died it would be easier, more tangible.

Should I write these thoughts ?? I guess it may be a little more than some people want to read over their cup of tea or end of day wind down,but its a process and I want to record it.
The nature of us all is to desire warmth and love and respect.Its all I want and at the moment I am finding it in many places and not in the bottom of a vodka shot. I guess that takes courage.To stand up and work through each emotion and look at it and put it down again and then maybe pick it up again and take another look.Some of the things I have found so far are not so good to look at.I dont want to pick them up and look at them again.Its precisely those that need to be picked up and scrutinised, pulled apart and put back together again.
Courage is the one thing I am holding on to. Its the courage to break out of the old me and move onnto something new.The courage to take life to its next level.The courage to face the pain of knowing that I loved long ,hard and good and will again.The courage to take responsibility for myself and my choices. The courage to move away from the safety I knew ,no matter how superficial.
Finally the courage to let the world that I dont feel okay now,but I will soon and that I am open to everyone and everything and any insights advice and love they have to give. The courage to reach out.

The weekend!

I know my blog has been sparse on GOOD things to say recently so here is a post with tad of happiness!
This weekend saw me hiking out to mitake and spending the night on top of the mountain drinking Chu-Hi and laughing outside the temple like naughty young children until late and then hiking back down again and spending some good long time in the famous Tsuru Tsuru onsen.Bliss.Pure bliss.There is nothing like a group of good people and some mountain air laced with heavenly scents to raise your spirits!
It was a great weekend. Pictures to come but have a wee computer problemo at the moment and am unable to access!

Thoughts that I need to make solid

the quality you need to cultivate right now beautiful woman is self
respect.it will hold u strong.this alone will help u to make the right
choices and maintain your vision.if others betray you or disrespect you,it
is not a reflection of you but you do not need to stand beside it.move
gracefully and quietly away and meditate not on them but on your own
honour and lite.

Details

Okay I didnt post for a while.I havent really felt like being in front of the computer hashing over all the emotions that are whirling around in my head right now,but a few detils anyways.
The boy and I are breaking up.Its been 4 years.It has been a ride .Its been fun and challenging and sometimes downright heartbreak.
Now we have to part and go our separate ways.Its sad.We share a home and friends and a lifestyle.Things right now are tense. I am tense. I have alot of stuff to sort out.Lots of extra work to do to save for a student life and a lot of goodbyes to say.As well as the one big goodbye to the man. I am grateful to my friends and family for supporting me through this time.I feel a little lost and sometimes a little lonely.
I love my home and hate to see its walls encasing so much pain.Its my refuge right now and along with the cat is keeping me somewhat sane.
I have been reading inspirational text to maintain balance and compassion as well as keep me rooted in non-destructive behaviour. I desperately want my last months in Tokyo to be as simple as possible.
So people thats the details.Endings are sad but they are also new beginnings.

Quick Update

Okay a very quick update with more details to follow.
I will be embarking on a new adventure.
I am leaving Japan.
November
I am going to do a Degree in Acupuncture and chinese medicine.
Lots of emotions too much to write right now and not sure how much of it is appropriate.
I want the last few months in Tokyo to be joyful.

Discuss the virtues of fidelity............

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature -- and another woman to help him forget them.

Is this true??
It feels so foreign to me??
Someone help me understand!

All cleansed out!

7 days of husk clay and laxative.I dont feel any better!
A little lighter perhaps and just a little mind you! Fark! Maybe the energy hit will kick in in a few days???!!!
I am sure my intestines are cleaner right???!
Oh damn it who gives a rats bum! Im off to get a hagen daz to congratulate myself!!

Come on and make me smile! 

You make me feel like dancing!

I was walking down the road the other day and thinking about the people that make me happy when it struck me that I should tell them.I started my mission.I told one person who I adore that they make me happy.It felt good.For me and for them...I think.

So the point is............Dont think it! Say it!

look into the light............ 

Kami Sama

I went to church...............I can hear all my friends shouting unbelievingly right about now,but I did.It was my first time to head to a god house in a while although really the world we live in as far as I am concerned is Gods house ,I am Gods house.
Anyways I will spare you my philosophies on faith and the God archetype.

I wanted something relevant.I needed to hear something positive.I went for the sermon more than anything.I wanted to hearwise,positive ,moving ,inspiration .Mostly I needed to see passion and faith.I miss that. Alot of the passion I see in Tokyo is based on capitalistic gain and sex. Thats not to say that I dont see people living passion ,I am fortunate to have many friends who are passionate about many things and thankfully include me in thier passions.

So this is what I heard...................

Sing a new song. Play a new song.When youre happy ...sing.When youre challenged ........sing.Something changes inside of you when you sing.It transforms.Something happens in your heart.

When youre at work and feeling frustrated sing in your heart.
When youre standing in the rain without an umbrella sing in your head.
When youre dancing in a club sing...........

It made sense .It is freeing and joyful. Today I am singing.

I dont know if I will go back to the church.I am just not that into the whole praising of jesus thing.Dont get me wrong I believe he existed and was a healer but I dont put my faith in him.
I have to place my faith in myself.
Okay I am not doing a good job of that right now but life is about lessons that need to be learned ,so I am learning.Working through things .Sorting through the gomi and keeping whats good and throwing out the smelly stuff. I am sure there are some things in the bottonm of the fridge that still have a bit more time before I throw them out but again I will get there.

Kimi Ga Yo!

The Japanese National Anthem.
I like it!Its very poetic!
Sure its patriotic and imperialistic,but it won the National Anthem of the Year in 1903~!



May your reign
Continue for a thousand,
Eight thousand generations,
Until pebbles
Grow into boulders
Covered in moss.

Penis envy

Sad to say that I have just realised that i have heavy traffic to my site and its all because sometime ago I made a blog about the penis Festival.Penis Penis Penis.
Everyone is looking for penis.................reading about penis,thinking about penis.
Now then that should increase my hits a bit more!
Funny though.......I made an entry on Vaginas too but no hits on that..........we obviously dont have the fascination.............

Papa meme!

My papa did a meme!!

music my firstlove for my funeral by johnmiles.
cherish obvious,(mum and dads song).
Isnt she lovely by stevie wonder, sarahs birth.
crossroads cream,just because.
rolling stones cant always get what you want.
lol Paxx

Cleansing aids 

A week of cleansing......again!

Okay.Jonathan is away and I am taking the time to have early nights,good sleep and some cleansing.I know it wasnt long ago that I was posting about some other cleanse I did but this one is a little different!
Its a colon cleanse.
I have to shove heaps of clay and psyllium husk into my being , accompanied by milk Thistle which is supposed to be an excellent liver cleanser. Followed by natural Laxative at the end of the day!
Pheweeee! I am on day 3.No alcohol as of yet.Been drinking heaps of water and frankly feel a little rough around the edges.Have experienced some dull headaches and bloating........Am hoping that by day 7 I will be feeling a little more energetic!
This cleanse seems to be really popular and is similar to those you find in Thailand or health club apart from the fact that you can eat,which seems alot kinder to me! Especially as I spend my days jumping up and down like a derranged dervish with my 4 year olds!

The baton has been passed onto me by Threads of gold



Total volume of music files on my computer:



I think........about 15 GB.I have no idea whether thats alot or not! But now I have joined a new download site I can see that that may get somewhat larger over the next few months!

Song playing right now:
Quantic-Mishaps happening


The last CD I bought:
Funnily enough the same as Jo. The waifs - A brief History


Five songs or tunes I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

What???Only 5??? Oh gawd,thats a tough call and my brain isnt working allt hat good right now! Okay well here are some that mean alot to me! I listen to all different kinds of music all the time so its hard to pinpoint!so off the top of my head...

Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac- Its the fantasy of myself.

Take it in by The Waifs- Reminds me of sun,sea,sand and beautiful memories of a place far away!

Curtis Mayfield-Superfly (amongst a few).If you just wanna get down and groove this man rocks.

Close to you- The cure. Enough said.This is teenage love all over again! I cant help thinking of jumping on the bed with my best mate singing our little socks off~!

Got to give- The brand New heavies. Its the rules .Life should be lived by this song!



Im passing the baton to:

Suze

JJ

Ands-by far the leader in cool funk

Daddy- Has rather wonderful taste in music!

Simone


Not sure if these guys will even read this but its worth a shot!

Kabuki 

The tweezers

Last sunday saw me heading to the National Theater in Hanzomon for a rare treat of Kubuki. It was my hatsudai Taiken(first experience) We were fortunate enough to get some student tickets from a lovely friend of ours whose father is a professor.
I have heard lots of stories about Kabuki which originated in the 1500's.Some have said ita a marathon of boredom others have said its a must.Its similar to Shakespear in its colloquial language and many japanese find it hard to follow.For the Gaijin a sturdy little head set with translation is all you need!
We were treated to a little intro at the start of the show which made for a very succinct and interesting low down on what happens on the stage. Prop men actually sit on the stage and are usually dressed in black so that we dont notice them(which of course you do) There is a man who sits on the far right of the stage with clapper sticks who furiuosly beats them on the stage when a fight is taking place. Butterlies fly in on sticks attatched to the supposedly unseen prop man. Props get exchanged from small to big to create a kind of movie close up of the image.
Its a far cry from the conventional western Theatre that I am used too but made for a wonderfully interesting and unique experience.
Our show was about a noblemans house whose daughter was to be married to another nobleman but unfortunately due to some strange curse her hair stood up on end and she couldnt bear to go through with the marriage. The detective who came to the house ,called Danjo, soon found out with the help of his oversized tweezers that in fact there was a conspiracy in the house and one of the noblemans advisors was plotting to ruin the family .He had planted a rogue in the ceiling with a magnet which when coupled with the hair pins she wore made her hair stand on end! We are entertained to heis realisation of this when he plucks his chin during a quiet moment and his tweezers start dancing merrily on the stage!
Added to the originality of the story we were treated to beautifully exotic costumes that make for hard work when moving around the stage so movements are limited but purposeful.
I later found out that unlike out theatre companies ,here in japan you stay with one theatre comapany for your entire life.Its a dicscipline and you are trained from a young age.Every movement has a meaning and has been practiced for years.
Again it never fails to suprise me how the japanese are so dedicated to thier culture and how they continue to maintain it in its original form!
I hope I get to go again soon!

Pajama Party

Oh me oh my. I came home late last night to find no sign of my beautiful benji.I was panic stricken.He was there when I left ,I had closed the door behind me and left him sleeping on the bed.
I searched everywhere.High.Low.Inside cupboards. I was frantic.I called Jonathan but no answer.What to do.Perhaps he was in our housemates room I reasoned to myself.
I went to bed after a lot of searching and calling and woke up at 7.
Again searching the house again imagining him squashed or struck down somewhere with aheart attack.It just didnt make sense until we knocked on the housemates door.She didnt have him,but she said she had heard him crying last night at about midnight.
I knocked on all the neighbours doors.Do you have my cat?? I came to the last one .Do you have my cat?? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh,she said.She went over to her sofa where a big butch cat was sitting lookign at me menacingly.she pulled out this little petrified orange fluff ball out from under the sofa.My little orange cute fluff ball.
It turns out my housemate had inadvertently let him out the front door when she came in and locked him out! The crying had been his at the front door.Let me in! Let me in! She hadnt realised,and so my little orange fluff had walked down the halla nd stayed the night with someone else.I dont think it could have been that fun .He was scared and jumpy when I got him back,but he was safe and smelling of chip fat!
I feel very releieved but also somewhat amazed at how quickly we come to adore these things!
Hes home now and sleeping on my thigh as I write.........Ahhhhhhhhh...............

Are you hot??

Okay!! I know you are all hot little thangs but if you are ever after the general mass of opinion this is fun! Am I hot or not??
Be warned its highly addictive!

What would it wear??!!

Yesterday saw me tripping throught he streets of Akasaka with a possy of girls and one boy to see Vagina Monologues at the very nicely laid out and cosy Akasaka V Theater.
Written by Eve Ensler who had no idea she would start a revolution in womens underpants quite like this ,it has toured the world and is now part of a charity raising money for women who have been subjected to abuse,primarily the pyschological warfare of man.
So the show is a collection of Monologues that were taken from interviews abou what women thought about thier Vaginas.
What would it say?
What would it wear?
What does it smell like?

Some pretty thought provoking questions about the personality your Vagina has.We often give a Penis a personality.It seems more appropriate .It lives outside and seems to have a life of its own,but the Vagina?? I never thought about it! In fact what became painstakingly clear throughout the show was that alot of women dont think about it.Its almost like we have given it up as our own.Well it is our own.It belongs to us.Its part of us and not seperate from us! We bear children from it .Its quite extraordinary.Its beautiful and it too has feelings.
Anyway I have decided on this .
It would say "I am more than just a wet,dark hole to please you and you alone...Please be gentle....tease me.....and tell me you love me"

It would wear absolutely nothing! Its a nudist Vagina.

It smells like 4 seasons in one day.

When a 6 year old child was asked about her Vagina she responded .......it smells like snowflakes ,amd somewhere up there is a really really big brain! I love that ! the innocence and clarity of youth.
Coupled with a 70 year olds it would say "closed due to flooding " and her amazing nightmares of her and Burt reynolds being washed away in the flood of her desire and so therefore never allowing herself to open up sexually to another man again. Left me with some very poignant and bizarre images of what exactly our vaginas are.

It also occured to me that just as our personality and insights change so does what our vagina has to say.I am sure there was a time when my said " come on then!!!"
or maybe a time when it said " I love that you understand me so well!" or even a time when it said"fuck off,I am tired" Its all part of the mosaic of life

Not so crap!

Thank you friends! I now dont feel so crap.I am amazed how easy it is to reach out and say HELP and even more amazed at how many made me feel the love and warmth that I was desperatley seeking.Its amazing ,amazing ,amazing and all because of you i dont feel crap anymore! Thank you!

Crap

I feel like complete and utter crap.I am quite frankly at a loss.I am sick of my current situation and sick of taking it all in my stride.I am sick of holding back anger.I want to shout and scream and yell at the top of my voice.I want to hit someone.I wanna cause pain.Like the pain I feel right now when you know the world is probably a good and kind place somewhere and you are sure that people do the right things and show love care and compassion towards you,but it just aint happening in your world.
I dont want to say everything is okay when it quite clearly isnt. To say that I have an understanding of what I am experiencing right now is a lie but I have just become used to it. Comfortably numb.Underneath it all I am scared and somewhat at a loss.Problems need solving or they continue to remain problems.I am not sure how to solve this one.Maybe I am but I just dont wanna look att he solution right now.

A year of firsts

Yesterday was a year since my grandmother passed away.I spoke to my mum and she was good.Dad had sent her a box of beautiful flowers.She was tearful,it was a lovely thought.
I am hoping that things get better for my folks now that this first year is over.I have heard its the hardest. My nana was strong and wilful and always there! I miss her,but she is aways with us in spirit and memory.

What we do for the camera!

"Smile for the camera!" she said as she held the small lense out in front of her to capture the moment.
She felt excited.The anticipation of getting home to view the pictures was her secret joy. Images captured in time.A memory that wouldnt fade ,unlike her mind.

There was always a moment of sadness mixed with the thrill.When she got home she wished she could reach out and touch the soft skin in those pictures.Take up that moment and start a conversation over a beer. Join in the laughter again.Bring back the moment and the feelings..........
There would be more.There were always more.Different faces, different locations, even different countries.

She felt lonely. She picked up the phone to call a friend.No answer.She called another.No answer.

She went back to her pictures.

There was her best friend,smiling sweetly.She took on the pose of Betty boop all too well and she smiled at her friend in the picture.
She remembered once they had sat in a cement tunnel in a kiddies playground smoking and talking about life. She had said she was gnna marry and have a trillion babies. I had said that was never gonna happen to me.I would travel the world.Seek places unknown.Always be a little different and always a little sexy.
She was always the strong one back then.Always stable.Never showing errational emotion.She was the one you could turn too for constancy.I on the other hand was emotional to extreme.I was a tornado whirling into places and leaving behind me devastation. She would pick up the pieces quietly,lovingly.
We started making haunting strange noises in the tunnel that echoed loudly around us . It amused us for a time and then we sat quietly. Our knees were up around our ears .The only way we could squash ourselves into our private cubby hole. It was amazing how we could bend our bodies so effortlessly.Inside there it was our world.We could dream there. We did dream.we dreamt of money and love and comfort.The kind of dream you dream when you know nothing of those things. We didnt know how we would get them,we just dreamt.
My father always said to me "Money doesnt grow on trees you know" , but we didnt care .To us it seemed it did.It would just happen. The future seemed too big for us to contemplate,it would just be tommorow and the next day and then the next and hell why worry..........But dream ? Yes we could dream............
The smell of the grass outside wafted into me.It was late.It was damp and smelt like earth.Our butts were dirty. We could hear people walking down the street on the far sidew of the park.Laughter emerging into our ears.Quiet voices as they walked thier way home. We were different somehow.We were invincible.We would be gone from this place when we were there age. Where would we be???
Her thoughts returned back to where she was. Strange. I couldnt possibly have overlayed the now image with the image of then. The picture had taken her in and made her thoughtful. The two girls were wildly different now .They still loved each other but life had mellowed them. The pursuit of happiness was not wrapped in dollar bills and Mansions, there was comfort of sorts,the kind you get from running your own life and being responsible. Getting to choose your bedtime.Getting to pick your own food .Choosing who to love and who to avoid. Our jobs didnt define us. although they often felt they did but they challenged that idea.Its me that counts.Its how I interact with other and what I give to the world around me that matters. That was a comforting thought. The ability to make choices and change the world around you....

She sat at her computer observing the array of images in front of her,waiting for the next picture to stir her memory.It was just a memory after all.It wasnt the now.She couldnt touch the skin or sip the beer or jump into the clear blue water. She knew though that she could make a choice in the future to surround herself inthose things again.They too would be a memory at another point in time, but at some moment it happened and she had been there.

Abandon. 

Quiet moment 

Tails of maddening love!

Oh I just cant help myself.He is gorgeous and yummy and quite delectable in every way! I had to post somemore pics of the babe! Its a joy to come home to him every day.Its true what they say "A house is not a home without a cat" .
He greets me at the door full of love and better than any "how was your day dear"
He hugs me ,follows me,kisses me,talks to me. Sits with while I am thinking,looks at me lovingly when I feel a little sad. Her loves the people that come into the house.Hes non-judgemental and has love for everyone......well not the hoover,but thats an inanimate object so it doesnt count. So i just wanted to post some more pics by popular demand of those who have already met him and by those that havent!

Detox part 2

Okay so one of my friends said to me while I was puffing on a cigarette that it seemed my detox was a half-arse attempt.
I agree with her! It was, but it did enable me to cut down on sugar and alcohol. I did indulge in a glass of red wine on monday due to a new arrival in the Paine family but I am glad to say that i lost a kilo in the 3days! The butt is still scarily stalking me but physically I feel a little better. Why do we worry another fiend said?? I guess for me its a control thing.The butt isnt that big but it may have a runaway life of its own! One day I may wake up and find that it doubled or even tripled.This is just my way of making sure that it doesnt do that! There is another factor that fits into this.Quite frankly non of my clothes fit me comfortably anymore.They seem a little tight around the waist and arse.I cant afford to go out and buy a new wardrobe.So its a money saving excersise too!
Wow its amazing how well we can justify our vanity! Asides from the appearance aspect of it all I do feel a little clearer a bit more energetic.I would really like to do this kind of thing every couple of weeks so am going to do some research on how I can do that without spending 2,000 yen on a product!
Watch this space!

Detox

I have just started my detox for the next 3 days!
Its something I got fromt he U.K called BIO LIGHT.I did it about 9 years ago and it was pretty effective. I guess I am looking for more energy and perhaps a little weight loss.I caught site of my rear in the window yesterday and wondered how it had got so big,and now it keeps following me around.I am hoping the BIO LIGHT will scare it away!

Benji 

Under attack

Benji ! Our new family member.He is gorgeous ,loveable affectionate ,courageous,cute and generally a joy.But how can something so small,something so cute be so god damn vicious??? I am covered in tiny little puncture wounds.The object of his attack instinct! I ahve placed toys all around the house for him so that he doesnt get bored and has plenty of outlets for his kitty energy but still he comes back to the bare flesh...........

Morning meditation 

To catch a dolphin.......

While in the Philippines we decided to get up early and try and see the dolphins.Unfortunately we didnt see them but we did catch a beautiful sunrise and that feel good feeling you have when you see a part of the day that you dont see usually see.I also caught this beautiful image of JJ.

Now heres an incentive to get busy in the kitchen!

Men who do dishes do better in the bedroom
If only men knew what they were missing: Men who do more housework have better sex lives and happier marriages, according to a study by John Gottman, a psychologist who for more than three decades has been researching why relationships succeed or fail. Further research by Gottman suggests that harmony over housework may also yield happier children. His findings reveal that men who do housework frequently have kids who do better socially and academically.

Energy! 

Doshio???

Sometime I need a little pick me up.You know how it goes ,late night ,early start........but whats a gal supposed to do with the array of energy drinks on the shelf hosting a whole list of ingredients I dont understand let alone even contemplate putting in my bod.....hmmmmmmmm...thats a little hypocrytical coming from a smoking ,drinking ,party fiend.
Does anyone out there ............cooey..........heloooo,hellooooo know of an energy drink that doesnt have caffeine,taurine or other wildly hypo drugs????

Return ........

A week in the sun does wonders for the soul and makes Tokyo so much more copable...........but feel somewhat unable to get out of holiday mode! ........pure lush! Bring on the Pina Colada

Our baby! 

Naming Ceremony

I am getting a baby! I have pined for one for a long time now and have tossed and turned and deliberated over the practicalities of having a cat here in Japan and have finally given in to the need to have a warm loving and soon to be loved little furry being.I cant wait to have a little family!

Now all we have to do is find the cute little babe a name!~



"The Naming of Cats" by T.S Eliot
from "The Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats"

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

I'm thinking Kai
I'm thinking Jin
I'm thinking jayce!

Any ideas for cute little furry ginger cats???

How BIG???

Hmmm.............interesting! Would have liked to hear about the japanese!

A group of scientists in Hong Kong spent five months from October last year measuring 148 ethnic Chinese volunteers aged between 23 and 93.


The average length of their flaccid penises was 3.33 inches, which compared favorably with similar studies on other men overseas.


Germans have average lengths of about 3.4 inches, Israelis 3.27 inches, Turks 3.07 inches and Filippinos 2.89 inches. Italians were the longest at 3.54 inches, and Americans averaged 3.46 inches.


The study did not measure the penises when they were erect.


It found that a man's height bore no relation to the length of his member, but those with higher body mass indexes, or fat content, appeared to have shorter penises.


"It seems that as someone gets older and fatter, his blood vessels change, so the penile size is not static. It may be a reflection of the condition of the person's blood vessels," Chan said, adding that this could spur yet another study.

Hari! Hari!

No! No! I havent converted into a jesus freak. I am an acupuncture freak! In Japan its called Hari,which in its literal translation means needle.

Its much easier to get into eastern practice here for very obvious reasons (hmmmmmmmm let me see now why would that be???) The only problem is that my japanese is very bad and so I am always put off by going to see one and trying to explain my proiblem or what I want from them.

Friday called for an emergency when I woke up with what I could only call a locked neck.Couldnt move it,completely agonising.So I called my boss begging for help.Where can I go?what can I do? Desperate poor little me !Lost in the depths of pain.........Anyways I will spare you the poor me stroy and get straight to the point.My boss found me a fabulous little acupunturist in Koenji at a clinic called baobab a fabulous guy who although claims to speak limited English was able to communicate with me really well.

I had 2 treatments with him over 2 days. Each time costing me 3 thousand yen. He was kind caring and very gentle although it was agony for me ,needles going into rock solid muscle is not comfortable by any means but 3 days later I am feeling alot better and happy I solved this in a non chemical,non intrusive manner.

I strongly recommend him! He is in Koenji and a gem!

Bargain hunting 

Second hand clothing in Tokyo going going gone!!!

Okay the cat is out of the bag! I have now shared one of my nicest and most lucrative secrets in japan.

Good clothes,funky clothes,practical clothes,designer clothes,wild clothes and most importantly CHEAP clothes.

So I took some friends with me to my secret little haven and now its open to everyone.I visit a couple of times a week just to check if there are any wild bargains or must-haves.You can easily buy a couple of decent shirts and a top for under 2000 yen. Good condition and good quality depending on the make.

A word of warning though.It is a second hand JAPANESE clothing store so if you cant find sizes for you in normal stores then you may find it difficult to get something here ,although they often have alot of stuff from GAP in there.

So where is this place I hear you cry??

Well I will let the cat out only partially but its in Koenji! A great place for Jazz and blues ,ethnic clothing , a fantastic acupuncturist and a heap more! Its on the chuo line about 6 mins from Shinjuku.

Need more info on the store then drop me a line!

Happy Shopping!

holding life in the palm of your hand 

A moment of madness in the sun!

At last the sun is peaking its head from around the clouds and replacing cold and gloom with warmth and energy.

Its amazing to see the diffenece in everyone.We are like youthful children again walking with a spring in our steps and feeling a little excited!

I certainly feel a whole lot better and gets me thinking about foreign climes and where I might find the place I want to spend a good majority of my life. Warmth certainly seems to be high on the list but when I get to thinking about making the move from Japan I get kinds gufumped.Its wonderful here.We have lots of friends.Surely the wage wont be so good.I wont have so much free time to do the things I love...............and then I about turn and so oh what the hell!!!
.Surely when we are standing still for too long there is a fixedness that envelopes us.
In moving I find a freedom that doesnt just come from the movement of my body but also the the movement of my mind.Is this just the travellers fix?? Or is it that when being in one place we must look at everything around us.Take stock and think about it?? Surely then the challenge is how to make time in the present more creative and more interesting.

Magic carpet 

Magic Carpet

Its been a day. I couldnt quite tell you why I feel the way I do. I have all legs and arms present and correct but for some reason I cant shake this feeling that someone is going to pull the carpet from under my feet.I hate this feeling.I wish I had a magic carpet so that no-one could ever pull the carpet from underneath my feet.

At the moment I feel like there is so much expectation from others in my life to be something or someone I am not.I want to be . Its tiring trying to make energy where there is none to be made.

I feel like if I dont live up to these expectations then all will come tumbling around me.My job,My home,My friendships and even the respect of those around me.Oh my if I had a magic carpet then that wouldnt happen.I would always have a place to be..................

There always seems to be condition on everything.Relationship cannot survive without intense physical gratification.Your career cannot survive without intense energy output.Respect wont be commanded unless you do something bold or daring or ingeneous.
I think I want time out! Its so consuming sometimes! I feel that if I could just take a mini break from it all,maybe get some sun and some perspective I can start all over again,but it doesnt work that way.There is a past a present and a future to handle,maintain and work for.........

Natures wonder 

party time 

Hanami by lamplight 

Hanami

I am a little uncertain about making a post for hanami but it is such a major event and one that not everyone I know knows about so here goes!
Hanami in Japan is probably one of the best times of year! It marks the grandiose entry of spring with a mass of cherry blossoms weighing down the trees.Its like walking through a fairytale.

Here in Japan we tend to celebrate it with much vigour,drinking and a good time spent with friends.People gather under the pink to catch up and feel the warmth envelop us for the first time since the end of summer. (I hasten to add that the next day doesnt quite feel like that! Often accompanied with a headache and an OHMYGOD,what did I do feeling)

Anyway,you will find that all and any park will be filled with people picnicing and drinking and revelling! Its fun.Its bonding.Its exciting!The onset of spring and the promise of warmth and outdoor activities again! It certainly gets my tingle button going!

Traditionally a farming celebration here where it would mark the beginning of the farming season and hopefully an abundant harvest.It has evolved into a modern celebration of natures promise of spring and a collective awe at the beauty that it brings!

Okay enough said! Here are some pics that I took with my new camera!

Talking of Rock and Roll....................

My wake up call this morning was a 6.1 earthquake! Go figure! It hit about 64km outside of Tokyo.Apparently it was predicted and is closely linked to the earthquakes that have been occuring in Indonesia.The pacific plates are a moving!

You can even find stores where you can buy paraphenalia and Air guitars??!!! 

All bad things will disappear from the world when everybody plays the air guitar!

This is thier motto and something that was introduced to me over the weekend! Yeah I know all about air guitar! Havent we all had our own experience with that??? I certainly have ,especially with Bohemian Rhapsody! Yup I ve woken up on countless occasions with a sore neck from my air guitar foolery!
Saturday took it that one step further! I saw a guy wearing an Air guitar chamionship T-shirt.Was this guy serious?? Indeed it is true! With a little research on the internet there is indeed a championship.Its in Finland this year.
airguitar championships
.........Heres the link! Check it out for yourself!

tradition meets the Penis... 

Boys who love girls who love boys who love girls........