Wednesday, January 11, 2006
The limit of my patience..........
I have to admit that I have discovered the hardest job in the world.It pushes your limits ,it has the longest hours going,its full of stress and terrible smells,it has laughter,tears and an emotionsl rollercoaster that would put Disney out of business.Its noisier than standing next to a thumping speaker at any concert.
Anyone guess what it might be yet???
Well its motherhood..........
I thought teaching children for 4 years was the greatest insight into having kids but I was wrong.You can give them back at the end of an hour.You are in a contained area,there is only so much damage that can be done.
Here, right now living with my Aunt and Uncle(god bless thier souls) and the twins has been an eye opener.It stats from the moment they wake until they drop off to sleep.Its filled with noise,discipline(which inevitably goes unheard ,or should I say ignored)constant dilligence and enough energy to run a fucking marathon.
There is a constant battle to set limits and teach them right from wrong(ha! Thought I would be really good at this one!)But yesterday saw me reacht he limit of my patience.Its a collective experience when you lose it.Its not the actual event itself that causes you to pop your cork,more the build up of constant wearing down of your tolerance!
Yesterday I resorted to a 5 minute tantrum that was apparently funny to watch .
We are teaching the boys not to pull tails ....cat tails to be more precise.Its not going well.We often find them squealing with delight at dragging the cat half way round the house by his tail.Yesterday it was a little more of an onslaught with the puss being ambushed by corn on the cob being hurled at high speed through the air in his general direction.Poor Benji.......this came after a full on day of "no" , "dont do that" , and shouting to be heard. The cob was the the cork. I take the cob which is lying onthe floor next to the abused puss and hit the boys on the head with it,smack the cat and chase him half way round the house because he wont quit trying to scratch down the fly screen and scream like a frenzied dervish,then sit quietly back to dinner slug half my bucket of wine down and watch my aunt crying with laughter.
You know what though? As much as it is challenging it is also so rewarding and the laughter was fabulous!
I am taking the day off today.Lucky me.But I have to pay special homage to the Mother in this post.WELL FUCKING DONE! You are all angels and saints of the highest order.I aspire to be at some point of my life a Brilliant Mum.I just will need to curb the cob throwing discipinarian tendencies though.
Anyone guess what it might be yet???
Well its motherhood..........
I thought teaching children for 4 years was the greatest insight into having kids but I was wrong.You can give them back at the end of an hour.You are in a contained area,there is only so much damage that can be done.
Here, right now living with my Aunt and Uncle(god bless thier souls) and the twins has been an eye opener.It stats from the moment they wake until they drop off to sleep.Its filled with noise,discipline(which inevitably goes unheard ,or should I say ignored)constant dilligence and enough energy to run a fucking marathon.
There is a constant battle to set limits and teach them right from wrong(ha! Thought I would be really good at this one!)But yesterday saw me reacht he limit of my patience.Its a collective experience when you lose it.Its not the actual event itself that causes you to pop your cork,more the build up of constant wearing down of your tolerance!
Yesterday I resorted to a 5 minute tantrum that was apparently funny to watch .
We are teaching the boys not to pull tails ....cat tails to be more precise.Its not going well.We often find them squealing with delight at dragging the cat half way round the house by his tail.Yesterday it was a little more of an onslaught with the puss being ambushed by corn on the cob being hurled at high speed through the air in his general direction.Poor Benji.......this came after a full on day of "no" , "dont do that" , and shouting to be heard. The cob was the the cork. I take the cob which is lying onthe floor next to the abused puss and hit the boys on the head with it,smack the cat and chase him half way round the house because he wont quit trying to scratch down the fly screen and scream like a frenzied dervish,then sit quietly back to dinner slug half my bucket of wine down and watch my aunt crying with laughter.
You know what though? As much as it is challenging it is also so rewarding and the laughter was fabulous!
I am taking the day off today.Lucky me.But I have to pay special homage to the Mother in this post.WELL FUCKING DONE! You are all angels and saints of the highest order.I aspire to be at some point of my life a Brilliant Mum.I just will need to curb the cob throwing discipinarian tendencies though.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Presence and Radiance
As alot of you know 2005 was a challenging year. It was very mountainous and sometimes I didnt feel like I was going to summit.
November saw me summit and start making my way down to base camp. Back to safety and back to the warmth.Summiting was as I guess it can be,an achievement.The coming together of so many things.Alot of hard work.Alot of emotional investment.At times I thought I didnt have the energy to get there.It would have been easier to lie down and just let the winds of everything around consume me.I made it though and feel that I left behind a piece of myself up there on my analogical mountain.As I said I am at base camp now and ready to start on a new adventure witht he experience of the last tucked in my knapsack of experience.
Its a valuable experience when you suffer.I know many that will avoid it.Not feeling brave enough to conquer that which they fear the most,but suffering is a way to your self.It is only through suffering that we truly can understand ourselves,can feel the boundaries of our being and reach out further and gain real acheivment for that which we have done.
So with this in my mind I went searching for a little enlightenment on the core of relationship. I have been tangling through these questions for some years now.What are they ?How are they supposed to be? When are they right? When are they not? When is it time to discard the relationship because it has reached its sell by date? When is enough ,enough? Some might say if you truly love enough is never.You stick together ,work things out .Value what life is showing you together as 2 beings tripping along and embrace what gifts you have together.
But someone said something to me while I was away that touched me more than any formula that I have encountered to date.
Presence and Radiance
The woman needs presence
The male needs radiance
Without one the other cannot exist .
I discovered that I lacked presence in my life and therefore found it hard to radiate and vice versa.Its a chicken an egg situation. This made alot of sense to me. So I am seeking presence.A someone to BE with me. Not necesarily in person but most definately in spirit.
What also occured to me is that this doesnt mean relationship outside of oneself but also within,where masculine and feminine both reside.Perhaps I need to be a little more present for my feminine side and allow her to BE too.
So I step into the New Year with a focus and alot of goals feeling cleansed and happy.I have the occasional reoccuring nightmare that I am still working on but asides from that the future is now for my reinvention!
November saw me summit and start making my way down to base camp. Back to safety and back to the warmth.Summiting was as I guess it can be,an achievement.The coming together of so many things.Alot of hard work.Alot of emotional investment.At times I thought I didnt have the energy to get there.It would have been easier to lie down and just let the winds of everything around consume me.I made it though and feel that I left behind a piece of myself up there on my analogical mountain.As I said I am at base camp now and ready to start on a new adventure witht he experience of the last tucked in my knapsack of experience.
Its a valuable experience when you suffer.I know many that will avoid it.Not feeling brave enough to conquer that which they fear the most,but suffering is a way to your self.It is only through suffering that we truly can understand ourselves,can feel the boundaries of our being and reach out further and gain real acheivment for that which we have done.
So with this in my mind I went searching for a little enlightenment on the core of relationship. I have been tangling through these questions for some years now.What are they ?How are they supposed to be? When are they right? When are they not? When is it time to discard the relationship because it has reached its sell by date? When is enough ,enough? Some might say if you truly love enough is never.You stick together ,work things out .Value what life is showing you together as 2 beings tripping along and embrace what gifts you have together.
But someone said something to me while I was away that touched me more than any formula that I have encountered to date.
Presence and Radiance
The woman needs presence
The male needs radiance
Without one the other cannot exist .
I discovered that I lacked presence in my life and therefore found it hard to radiate and vice versa.Its a chicken an egg situation. This made alot of sense to me. So I am seeking presence.A someone to BE with me. Not necesarily in person but most definately in spirit.
What also occured to me is that this doesnt mean relationship outside of oneself but also within,where masculine and feminine both reside.Perhaps I need to be a little more present for my feminine side and allow her to BE too.
So I step into the New Year with a focus and alot of goals feeling cleansed and happy.I have the occasional reoccuring nightmare that I am still working on but asides from that the future is now for my reinvention!
Friday, January 06, 2006
Ah the beauty of fiddling!
This is my interpretation of last night and the view from the Botanicals! Me thinks its pretty!
Red sky at night
Melbourne is a green city! Its beautiful!
Yesterday I went out with some friends to the botanical gardens for a picnic.This was the sunset. It was a 9pm sunset! I love that there is so much daylight and so much time to enjoy the beauty of it here.Lots of green soft grass to plonk your feet into,roll around in and drink fine wine on picnic blankets with!
Walking to the Botanical Gardens was so lovely.I passed 2 other parks and walked along the Yarra River! Oh its expansive and quite quite different from cement Jungle of Tokyo.Think I am going to like it here
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Flora and Fauna faux pas
I forgot about all the deadly things they have in Australia.The last time I was here I encountered many.There was the Tiger Snake (2nd most deadly in the world),the redback(highly poisonous and deadly to the weak and young),the funnel-web (extremely deadly-15 minutes to death has been recorded),the white tail spider (supposedly very toxic with some reporting gangrene and ulcers in the area bitten. The Taipan (the most deadliest in Australia).
This time I am a city dweller so I was imagining that it would be a little more relaxed in terms of fearing for my welfare but I was wrong.Here in Melbourne we have the Redback and the white tail,and in the countryside we do have snakes.I hasten to add that we also have a new species which I discovered all by myself on a sunny day in the garden.
It was late afternoon and I was picking up a towel which was sprawled on the lawn and to my horror something grabbed my finger and didnt let go.This resulted in several frenzied leaps around the garden.The symptoms of at this point unidentified deadly 'thing' were raised heart beat,approximately 140 per minute, wild and loud squeals involuntarily escaping from the vocal areas,need to urinate,and wild imaginings of lost limbs.I think perhaps it had a slight hallucinagenic venom.
Suggestions to all who come into contact with afore mentioned 'thing' sit down and relax with our head between your legs.Recovery time-10 minutes.Shame factor 10/10.
This new Australian species is now known in our house as the Lesser known Grape stalk and is to be avoided with great care.Please advise if any one else has any stories to share of above .I think I am on to something.
This time I am a city dweller so I was imagining that it would be a little more relaxed in terms of fearing for my welfare but I was wrong.Here in Melbourne we have the Redback and the white tail,and in the countryside we do have snakes.I hasten to add that we also have a new species which I discovered all by myself on a sunny day in the garden.
It was late afternoon and I was picking up a towel which was sprawled on the lawn and to my horror something grabbed my finger and didnt let go.This resulted in several frenzied leaps around the garden.The symptoms of at this point unidentified deadly 'thing' were raised heart beat,approximately 140 per minute, wild and loud squeals involuntarily escaping from the vocal areas,need to urinate,and wild imaginings of lost limbs.I think perhaps it had a slight hallucinagenic venom.
Suggestions to all who come into contact with afore mentioned 'thing' sit down and relax with our head between your legs.Recovery time-10 minutes.Shame factor 10/10.
This new Australian species is now known in our house as the Lesser known Grape stalk and is to be avoided with great care.Please advise if any one else has any stories to share of above .I think I am on to something.
Some of the gang
Lloyd so lovely
Sarem The Great
Sarah and Michael with my giraffe balloon bottle holder
Christian
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