WARNING- a cathartic post ahead.
My head is still not good.Some may say its always been a little odd anyways.
Its been 10 weeks.
I hate taking the medications(many) but I am petrified of coming off them.Nobody is telling me to mind you.
I feel like I have lost a part of myself to this thing. It takes over everything.
I am waiting for an epiphany,an understanding of why I have this affliction.I dont want to be a victim to it.As of yet the only thing I can come up with is that I need to slow down.
I have.
Its still here.
So I keep searching for the key that will unlock the door to understanding.
I understand the pathophysiology of this thing.I understand physically what is going on but to me there is more to this thing.A lesson not yet learnt and when I do it will disappear as quickly as it came.
Another thoery I am playing with right now is that the pain is literally breath taking.
Perhaps if I can release something that I have pushed down deep inside ,a painful experience or event that the pain will go.What in me or my past (the same thing in my mind) has been so painful that I have manifested this.
Im working on this.
I have alot of help.
Im trying EVERYTHING.
I cant live like this,but I am.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
My Head.........
Okay its really not great news..........
I have been ill.REALLY ill.Its been going on now for six weeks.The good news Ill be okay.The bad news.....we dont know if or even when I will get better........... Hmmmm....positive bunny arent I? but then to be honest I have been through hell.
The short of it is that I have a Neuralgia in my face and head. Migrainous or trigeminal or glossopharangeal...........we are not sure.What I am sure of is the excruciating debilitating pain that I have been in.Its been likened to giving birth several times a day but the pain is in your head.I am now no longer afraid of labour.
I have been to see dentists,doctors and now specialists.I am currently on epilepsy medications to stabilise the nerve membranes in my head and this has helped tremendously.I am now no longer struck down suddenly with excruciating stabbing pain and reduced to a flood of tears (not through fear through pain)Instead now I get good days and bad days where my head hurts worse than others.Im not great to be around these days.
I have been allowed to reduce my college load and I am trying to rest and get well.
I have had heaps of support from friends and family which has been a wonderful reminder that no man is an island and I couldnt have done any of this without them.I would have probably topped myself from the pain.
Im trying to gather lessons from this and certainly am not stuck in poor me mode or even why me mode,I think I am now in the mode where I have to try and make sense of it all surrender to it and pray that it remisses.
I have been ill.REALLY ill.Its been going on now for six weeks.The good news Ill be okay.The bad news.....we dont know if or even when I will get better........... Hmmmm....positive bunny arent I? but then to be honest I have been through hell.
The short of it is that I have a Neuralgia in my face and head. Migrainous or trigeminal or glossopharangeal...........we are not sure.What I am sure of is the excruciating debilitating pain that I have been in.Its been likened to giving birth several times a day but the pain is in your head.I am now no longer afraid of labour.
I have been to see dentists,doctors and now specialists.I am currently on epilepsy medications to stabilise the nerve membranes in my head and this has helped tremendously.I am now no longer struck down suddenly with excruciating stabbing pain and reduced to a flood of tears (not through fear through pain)Instead now I get good days and bad days where my head hurts worse than others.Im not great to be around these days.
I have been allowed to reduce my college load and I am trying to rest and get well.
I have had heaps of support from friends and family which has been a wonderful reminder that no man is an island and I couldnt have done any of this without them.I would have probably topped myself from the pain.
Im trying to gather lessons from this and certainly am not stuck in poor me mode or even why me mode,I think I am now in the mode where I have to try and make sense of it all surrender to it and pray that it remisses.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Bird in a a bag
In the morning he brought me mouse.
In the afternoon he brought me magpie .
In the evening he brought me a pink canary in a plastic bag....
Why oh why I didnt take a picture I do not know but how on earth did my sweet little boy find a pink canary in a ziplock bag???
I can only imagine that some unsuspecting individual experienced the passing of thier dear sweet bird and put it on the front step to bury in the garden only to return and find there had been a body snatching incident.
I know for fact that he couldnt have pilfered it from a bin as all our bins out here are tall wheely bins with lids,so unless benji has developed the fine art of lifting lids it didnt happen that way.
I guess I should have posted some notes around the neighbourhood informing of dear sweet pink canary in ziplock bag found in the jaws of dear sweet ginger puss but I was too busy laughing ............
In the afternoon he brought me magpie .
In the evening he brought me a pink canary in a plastic bag....
Why oh why I didnt take a picture I do not know but how on earth did my sweet little boy find a pink canary in a ziplock bag???
I can only imagine that some unsuspecting individual experienced the passing of thier dear sweet bird and put it on the front step to bury in the garden only to return and find there had been a body snatching incident.
I know for fact that he couldnt have pilfered it from a bin as all our bins out here are tall wheely bins with lids,so unless benji has developed the fine art of lifting lids it didnt happen that way.
I guess I should have posted some notes around the neighbourhood informing of dear sweet pink canary in ziplock bag found in the jaws of dear sweet ginger puss but I was too busy laughing ............
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Consipitation
No,Its not a spelling mistake but a rather endearing way that my radical, highly regarded Chinese professor refers to constipation.I am well into my cinics at this stage in the game.
This entails running the acupuncture clinic as a group of students and seeing clients from the "outside". Its all very exciting.
For every client we see we have to take a detailed case study and then consult with our chinese professor. He is an interesting man.He has over 40 years experience in the field and as well as extensive research , a clinic he runs in Collins street (a highly priced business district),and a passion for stamp collecting,he finds the time to teach in Victoria University and with us.He cured himself of a stroke with acupuncture and still seems to chuff rather alot of cigarettes,but he knows his stuff.
When he inserts a needle the air in the room seems to stop.I find myself holding my breath and standing there waiting....not quite sure what im waitng for or even if I am ,perhaps I am just in awe. He can see and feel qi like its a solid entity and can tell when its shifted and when something is better.He can cure a muscle ache with one needle in 5 minutes.He has cured chronic shoulder problems with a needle in the leg manipulated for 10 minutes.Hes cured cancer.He pays no heed to our rather conservative ways of treating and will happily needle deeply into organs...something I still quite havent got my head round and makes me feel somewhat sick,but it works,he gets results,and isnt that what people want when they are sick??
Ive decided not to do an internship in china.Purely financial.If I had the cash I would but I dont and so I wont and thats okay,but when I have Dr Zhou why the hell do I need too???
This entails running the acupuncture clinic as a group of students and seeing clients from the "outside". Its all very exciting.
For every client we see we have to take a detailed case study and then consult with our chinese professor. He is an interesting man.He has over 40 years experience in the field and as well as extensive research , a clinic he runs in Collins street (a highly priced business district),and a passion for stamp collecting,he finds the time to teach in Victoria University and with us.He cured himself of a stroke with acupuncture and still seems to chuff rather alot of cigarettes,but he knows his stuff.
When he inserts a needle the air in the room seems to stop.I find myself holding my breath and standing there waiting....not quite sure what im waitng for or even if I am ,perhaps I am just in awe. He can see and feel qi like its a solid entity and can tell when its shifted and when something is better.He can cure a muscle ache with one needle in 5 minutes.He has cured chronic shoulder problems with a needle in the leg manipulated for 10 minutes.Hes cured cancer.He pays no heed to our rather conservative ways of treating and will happily needle deeply into organs...something I still quite havent got my head round and makes me feel somewhat sick,but it works,he gets results,and isnt that what people want when they are sick??
Ive decided not to do an internship in china.Purely financial.If I had the cash I would but I dont and so I wont and thats okay,but when I have Dr Zhou why the hell do I need too???
Thursday, June 26, 2008
It cant be......
Holy craperoooooooo............I just looked at my blog and realised it had been 6 months since my last post.Bless me father for I have sinned.
Where did the time go??? I feel like I have entered Dr whos tardis and now here I am thinking to myself what happened while I was flip flopping around up here in my head,which is where I spend most of my time these days.
To top it all off I find out Miss Sins love has had TB and Arumanda is in gay pareeh.these are only 2 of the people that I like to watch as they progres along in life..........Im not sure that anyone is even reading this...........you may all think I have gone, disappeared into magical head land never to return from the ocean of acupuncture points and disease processes.
No I am here.......
Just about
Just finished a round of very intense exams and now am about to head into winter school.I have finally made it into clinics and am practising on the general public.I am almost there ! Another year and you can call me Dr.
I have 2 jobs that nearly make up full time hours and a full time degree.Oh its hard but I just do it and find very little time for anything else in my life! Nothing of import to impart.........unless of course I find a creative way of imparting all of this knowledge that I am accumulating up here in my ever expanding brain.....
Let me think on that one.
For the most part I am well and happy but self absorbed,so apologies........I will try harder.
Where did the time go??? I feel like I have entered Dr whos tardis and now here I am thinking to myself what happened while I was flip flopping around up here in my head,which is where I spend most of my time these days.
To top it all off I find out Miss Sins love has had TB and Arumanda is in gay pareeh.these are only 2 of the people that I like to watch as they progres along in life..........Im not sure that anyone is even reading this...........you may all think I have gone, disappeared into magical head land never to return from the ocean of acupuncture points and disease processes.
No I am here.......
Just about
Just finished a round of very intense exams and now am about to head into winter school.I have finally made it into clinics and am practising on the general public.I am almost there ! Another year and you can call me Dr.
I have 2 jobs that nearly make up full time hours and a full time degree.Oh its hard but I just do it and find very little time for anything else in my life! Nothing of import to impart.........unless of course I find a creative way of imparting all of this knowledge that I am accumulating up here in my ever expanding brain.....
Let me think on that one.
For the most part I am well and happy but self absorbed,so apologies........I will try harder.
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