Exhale and reconnect...........

Pheweeeeeeeee.....Its been a massive 6 weeks.I had my folks here for a couple of weeks and wonderful!But no study. Then finals! Head down and bum up and hold my breath for a lot longer than I think is humanly possible.
Had some good exams and some shockers too, my mind set had to change alot for these exams.I didnt have the time to do brilliantly.I had the time to pass.It felt uncomfortable and still does but as I keep hearing around the place Ps make degrees,so lets hope I managed the Ps.There was one exam where I am not sure that I even did that but lets wait and see.
So know here I am bereft of study and a whole lot of time on my hands for the next month.It will fly by ,and is such a joy not to have to wake in the morning with a work load that never ends.
Plan to get strong in the next month.Pull in the abs and lift up the bum that has become chair shaped!

Those 5 little things

This is a bit tricky because there are some things people know and some that dont.....I will try to dazzle you with some real dingers!

MEN: I can safely say that I dont trust men at all.Not in the slightest.Not married not single,not bi-sexual,BUT I seem to be able to trust gay men........the ones that I fully take on as my friends and develop friendships with anyways.

MASKS AND COLOURED CONTACT LENSES:Get away from me if you have either of these.I am extremely phobic of both.I like to be able to look into your eyes.....your real eyes! or see your facial expression.I dont like it when Halloween comes around and everyone wears masks.It freaks me out! Not because they are scary and hideous looking ,purely because I cant see who you really are.......

RABBITS AND GUINEA PIGS:Not a great fan.I was glad when my rabbit died.She was the devil incarnate and ever since I have really steered clear,unless of course they are small babies and ever so cute and that I can hand thenm back and not have to deal with thier stinking hutches.Never really got guinea pigs either...would happily run one over or stick it with a couple of acupuncture needles.Tell me......what is thier purpose on this planet?? To make annoying squeaky noises and piss me off??? Doing a good job!

SEX:The best moment of sex is when its all done and dusted and the pumping and grinding is over and there is a profound state of relaxation.Noises are clearer and I love to just lie and listen to evrything around me.Breath,birds in trees,passing cars,the sounds of far off voices,the sound of the ocean.........

BEFORE I DIE: I want to fly in a hot air balloon,visit South America,and the maldives,Have a child,Fall in love and get married,have my own business,own a house by the beach,own a saab convertible,visit the dalai llama,learn the art of Tantra, travel with my children at a young age.

Forgotten lines........

I had a really strange night of dreams last night and I cant fathom out what they all mean.
Firstly all my teeth fell out.I have had this dream before.I am standing in front of a mirror and I gat a chalky taste in my mouth and my teeth slowly disintegrate in my mouth......all of them.This happened last night,but to add insult to injury i found an old piece of jewellry hanging from one of my tonsils.It had gone green with verdigris.The jewellry was a butterly earring.
As I was wondering what to do about lost teeth ,planning a trip back to the U.K for false teeth I realised that I was in a show.I turned up for dress rehearsal feeling like I have never been to a rehearsal before and cant remember any of my lines.I feel like I was at rehearsals at the start of the show but somewhere along the line I have skipped many many rehearsals and not been there,but no-one seems to have noticed I havent been present .I fumble and panic.I tell the director I need the script.I am having a bad day.My teeth have fallen out I tell him and it seems to have affected my memory.I promise to learn the lines......ALL of them before the show tommorow.He is okay with that......I return to my home and am told that its a dump and jack Nicholson will move me into an old terraced cottage that it far more ameniable and the rent is next to nothing.
I wake up........
I have no idea what it all means,even though writing ot out helps.

Little MR and MISS.

I dont know why I have been thinking about the Mr.Men over the last few days but I have!Its not like I have a whole heap of time on my hands.......
Anyways here is my question........feel free to comment.I love comments! It makes me feel loved and like people are actually reading this thing.You can remain anonymous!

OKAY !!! THE QUESTION
IF YOU WERE A MR OR LITTLE MISS WHICH ONE WOULD YOU SAY YOU WERE,AND WHICH ONE WOULD YOU SAY OTHERS WOULD PUT YOU AS........???
Oh and if there is a Mr or little miss that you wanna make up then hey, go ahead!!!

As for me I think people might call me either little miss chatterbox or some might say little Miss scary!
I am going to make up my own for how i would describe myself.Little miss sensitive,but not in a princess sensitive way if you get my drift!!!!!!!

Ciao for now


Little Miss All-goes-Well
Little Miss Bad
Little Miss Birthday
Little Miss Bossy
Little Miss Brainy
Little Miss Brilliant
Little Miss Busy
Little Miss Busy-Body
Little Miss Careful
Little Miss Chatterbox
Little Miss Christmas (Little Miss series)
Little Miss Contrary
Little Miss Curious
Little Miss Dotty

Little Miss Fickle
Little Miss Fun
Little Miss Giggles
Little Miss Greedy
Little Miss Helpful
Little Miss Jealous
Little Miss Late
Little Miss Laugh
Little Miss Lucky
Little Miss Magic
Little Miss Naughty
Little Miss Neat
Little Miss Prim
Little Miss Quick
Little Miss Scary
Little Miss Scatterbrain

Little Miss Selfish
Little Miss Shy
Little Miss Somersault
Little Miss Splendid
Little Miss Star
Little Miss Stella
Little Miss Stubborn
Little Miss Sunshine (children's books character)
Little Miss Tidy
Little Miss Tiny
Little Miss Trouble
Little Miss Twins
Little Miss Vain
Little Miss Whoops
Little Miss Wise
Little Miss Yes
*
Mr. Men
M
Mr. Birthday
Mr. Bounce
Mr. Brave
Mr. Bump
Mr. Busy
Mr. Chatterbox
Mr. Cheeky
Mr. Cheerful
Mr. Christmas
Mr. Clever
Mr. Clumsy
Mr. Cool
Mr. Crosspatch
Mr. Daydream
Mr. Dizzy
Mr. Forgetful
Mr. Funny
M cont.
Mr. Fussy
Mr. Good
Mr. Greedy
Mr. Grumble
Mr. Grumpy
Mr. Happy
Mr. Impossible
Mr. Jelly
Mr. Lazy
Mr. Mean
Mr. Messy
Mr. Mischief
Mr. Miserable
Mr. Muddle
Mr. No
Mr. Nobody (Mr. Men)
Mr. Noisy
Mr. Nonsense
Mr. Nosey
M cont.
Mr. Perfect
Mr. Quiet
Mr. Rude
Mr. Rush
Mr. Silly
Mr. Skinny
Mr. Slow
Mr. Small
Mr. Sneeze
Mr. Snow
Mr. Strong
Mr. Tall
Mr. Tickle
Mr. Topsy-Turvy
Mr. Uppity
Mr. Worry
Mr. Wrong

A nicer note.........

Its good Friday! I am giving myself the day off and am heading into the city to have lunch with some friends and then head out to a bar someplace.
Its deadly quiet out here in the suburbs........am hoping there is more life in the city!!!!!!
Happy Easter everyone!

Damn it........

After months of cultivating new hair I have just discovered another small patch of hair has come out!
I think possibly because of the past 10 days and the attitude of some of my co-students.I cant blame them for the hair loss but I can try and do something about how I respond to it.
FUCK FUCKEDY FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Yin and Yang

The possibility for a person to exist on "generalized" opposites is something I have been giving alot of thought to.
Let me elaborate.I often hear people say they wouldnt say boo to a goose and yet it is these very same people that will go right ahead and do a bungy jump with carefree abandonement and no hesitation.I have seen people who are painfully shy explode into a torrent of hialrious stories and gesticulations.What I am trying to get at here and not particularly well is that we are not black and white always .There are shades of grey.There is no particular mould that we have to fit into....unless of course we desperatly want to "fit in".We are not predictable ,or able to be compartmentalized into this or that .Shy and sensitive,outgoing and strong. Weak and shy,quiet and introverted.Loud and extrovert.
I am trying to move away from these genearlizations at the moment and look at the elemnts of each individual that make them what they are and try not to make a judgement on that person or sum them up in a few words. We are colourful individuals,with a rainbow of attributes and cascade of expressing them. I also believe that it is impossible to make a judgement on an individual that is finite.We are constantly brightening or dulling our rainbows and our ways of expressing them.

SPEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!

I realised that I had completed overlooked the speed dating that I did 2 weeks ago!

It was fun!
I was nervous as hell before going in.Managed to get myself and the 2 girls I went with a little lost but we got there in one piece!

Before heading to the venue the girls and I met up to discuss how it was going to go.One of my friends had experienced speed dating before so enlightened us with how it might go.We sat and discussed what questions we might ask to make the most of the 6 minutes that you have to spend with each guy.

A few of mine:

Whats your most valuable possession?? (material/spiritual/emotional)
If you were a vending machine what would you vend?
Where would you like to see yourself in 5 years?
If you were an animal what would you be, and why?

So after getting myself suitably worked up we finally mananged to make to the venue(inclusive of tripping up the wrong street for about 10 minutes,until my aunt came to the rescue witht he proper address after a rather panicky phone call from myself!)

So we arrived.
First impressions were........I dont wanna do this! I just wanna go to a bar and get drunk!
12 tables lay in the room with numbers and paper laid on the table....
The host introduced herself and the girls were told to go and pick a table to sit at.
The men were told to do the same ,but would be the ones moving from table to table.
Bell rings and you start talking.Bell rings and you stop and move on.
It was suprising how quickly the 6 minutes went.Although I didnt necessarily want to date certain individuals again ,it was nice chatting and seeing what was out there.
I met a few really nice guys that I would like to get to know better b4 considering wether I would like to get in a relationship with them.
I am in no hurry to make any decisions.I would just like to enjoy the process and get out there and meet some guys......
I would definately speed date again.It was fun and a great way to meet men/and women too!

Hold on tight now!............weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........

Phew........seems its not my week this week.......I feel tired ,drained and have cried alot.......
So this morning I picked myself off my floor and went for a drive to find a tree......a strong tree! One that could just give me some strengnth and grounding!
I havent sat with a tree for a long time and it felt really good! I got clear really quickly!
Thank you tree!

Ritual

Ritual.......what does this word mean to a lot of people???
Some I guess might think it has religious connotations ,others might think it is something devilish,sexual,devious,some perhaps think light and power enhancing.
Today I decided that after the last few days that I need a personal clearing and my space needed a bit of a cleanse too.
Some months ago I purchased a sage and lavender stick for this very purpose.Native American Indians used them often to invoke spirit for healing and cleansing.
I wouldnt say that I am a kooky kinda gal but I do have my moments,and when I thought about doing this ritual it led me to take a look at what it was about.
For me it wasnt so much about the ritual or the smudge stick.It was the intention and taking a moment to focus on that .I very often dont take time out in my life to perform rituals, and it occured to me that it is really important to make time for them in my life everyday so that I can set the direction that I want my life to take and the energy I want to put out there into the world.
I have recently started to meditate every day at least for 10-20 minutes,but often this ritual gets cast aside under a desk full of study notes and I know that I am cheating myself of a valuable tool.
Intention of thought for me is very powerful.It can harm and it can heal.
In acupuncture we talk sometimes about a point that is more about intention than necesarily its indication or function but can be equally powerful.
So I have decided that I am going to develop more ritual in my life........
anyone out there have any rituals that the perform that they find valuable then let me know! I would love to hear.
And now I feel cleansed and my room clear I am off to do some study!!!!!!!