Just to affirm

I have often thought over the short life of this bundle of love that he is more like my perfect man than a fluffy little companion.
He sleeps with me at night purring away with content.He sits with me when I sick.He makes me laugh when I am down.He is loyal and has never been unfaithful to me (although he did come home smelling of perfume the other night.......)He kisses me in the morning and the evening and all through the day.There is no doubt that he loves me. He constantly checks in in the space of the day.Hes well travelled and fit. He is gentle and protective when needed.He is playful and sexy in a sleek agile way!He looks into my eyes often.
Why wouldnt you want a man like that???
My suspicions about him being the feline version of my perfect man tha other day were confirmed when he took the kids to playgroup!
He walked the 10 minute journey with the children.Hung out with all the other children on a table,entertained them and then came back again!
Gorgeous~!

The web that has no Weaver

Its the start ! The beginning of the journey that I have had my heart set on for many years! Feel free to join me on my journey and learn a little bit about Chinese medicine along the way!
So finally I have a booklist and now a few books to read through before my start date on the 27th of this month!
So far my readings have told me this much.I am studying something that is congruent with my own beliefs!


In order to contract,
It is necessary to first to expand.
In order to weaken,
It is necessary first to strengthen.
In order to destroy,
It is first necessary to promote.
In order to grasp,
It is first necessary to give.

Chinese Medicine works very much on the theory of Yin and Yang. The harmonies of nature and those within ourselves.The inevitability of our lives.The darkness of night and the light of day.The patterns from birth to death.The patterns of the seasonal year. A pattern that operates within us and without and is seen in everything and will continue wether we like or not!Thus the web that has no weaver!

My first semester is very foundation based .I will have 7 subjects. Biology,Chemisry,Muscular Skeletal Anatomy,Chinese language,Point location,History and Philosophy of Natural Medicine and Philosophy of Chinese Medicine.
Sp far I have been very clever with my book searching and found my most important book on ebay.Paying a grand 100 dollars less than I should have!
The books being very specialised are expensive,there are some I need, some I can refer to and some I can paw over in the library.So with 3 weeks to go several books bought I am getting the old grey matter up and running!

I do have a concern though........I am wondering what my other college friends will think when I start humming twinkle twinkle little star in the middle of a chemistry lecture.

My world

 

This is my closest beach! Its in St .Kilda and its young and funky and cosmo! Just a short 5 minute walk from here is a gorgeous little esplanade full of sweet bars and restaurants.For those of you who know me well you can imagine my joy at such a venue. Melbourne has it all.I love it here.I cant imagine my life without a beach in it.I am working on a my dreams in many ways .At the moment my dream house is near to the beach with a backdrop of lush green behind.Fantasy?? Not here!
So, when the study gets too much I can hop onto the #96 tram for a brief 10 minutes and then watch the sunset and the sailing boats cruise on by ,pop up to the esplanade and sit with a coffee and watch the world go by or stick my nose into a chinese philosophy text book 

The mouth of babes..............

I just had to blog this.........

Since my arrival in Australia I have been trying constantly to get an idea of what the twins make of me.I always think that the very young have interesting and insightful views!

Today at long last I got a reply to make question.

Sarah: Do you love your Auntie Sarah?
Benjamin: I love Auntie Sarah.
Sarah: Whats your favourite thing about Auntie Sarah?
Benjamin: ERM............(loooooooooooooooong pause..........)
Sarah:Whats your most favourite thing about Auntie Sarah Benj?
Benjamin : Rainbow sky!
Sarah: Stunned silence(dissipates onto the floor in a puddle).

We have no idea where he got that from or why,but me likey!

The Summer!

That was all in a week!It doesnt even include the week we spent in Adelaide with Jo! Phew! We had fun!&> 
Well Helen conquered Melbourne and Adelaide! as did I! We had a fabulous time! We discovered many places where they serve free sparkling wine for a couple of hours.we discovered that Melbourne has a Museum that is not one you can whizz half heartedly around in an hour and 3/4.We played Lesbian lovers (sort of) at the Gay and Lesbian Festival.We sought out Tattoo parlours for the green star that Helen has elegantly placed in the small of her back.We sipped spritzers on the southbank and watched the world go by in the sunshine.We shopped til we dropped.We found that when you really need a hat you cant find one ANYWHERE.We played in Luna park.We dipped our toes in the warm water of St.Kilda beach.We took a ride along the river in the evening sun.We agreed that 43 degrees is a tad too hot to do anything outside! We jaunted through the St.Kilda Markets.Had dinner with live sax playing down the street.Champagne birthday breakfasts with muffins and candles and last but by no means least went to the Melbourne Open to watch a few games of Tennis in the Rod Laver Arena.
That was all in a week!It doesnt even include the week we spent in Adelaide with Jo! Phew! We had fun! 

The culprits

 
 

The limit of my patience..........

I have to admit that I have discovered the hardest job in the world.It pushes your limits ,it has the longest hours going,its full of stress and terrible smells,it has laughter,tears and an emotionsl rollercoaster that would put Disney out of business.Its noisier than standing next to a thumping speaker at any concert.
Anyone guess what it might be yet???
Well its motherhood..........
I thought teaching children for 4 years was the greatest insight into having kids but I was wrong.You can give them back at the end of an hour.You are in a contained area,there is only so much damage that can be done.
Here, right now living with my Aunt and Uncle(god bless thier souls) and the twins has been an eye opener.It stats from the moment they wake until they drop off to sleep.Its filled with noise,discipline(which inevitably goes unheard ,or should I say ignored)constant dilligence and enough energy to run a fucking marathon.
There is a constant battle to set limits and teach them right from wrong(ha! Thought I would be really good at this one!)But yesterday saw me reacht he limit of my patience.Its a collective experience when you lose it.Its not the actual event itself that causes you to pop your cork,more the build up of constant wearing down of your tolerance!
Yesterday I resorted to a 5 minute tantrum that was apparently funny to watch .
We are teaching the boys not to pull tails ....cat tails to be more precise.Its not going well.We often find them squealing with delight at dragging the cat half way round the house by his tail.Yesterday it was a little more of an onslaught with the puss being ambushed by corn on the cob being hurled at high speed through the air in his general direction.Poor Benji.......this came after a full on day of "no" , "dont do that" , and shouting to be heard. The cob was the the cork. I take the cob which is lying onthe floor next to the abused puss and hit the boys on the head with it,smack the cat and chase him half way round the house because he wont quit trying to scratch down the fly screen and scream like a frenzied dervish,then sit quietly back to dinner slug half my bucket of wine down and watch my aunt crying with laughter.
You know what though? As much as it is challenging it is also so rewarding and the laughter was fabulous!
I am taking the day off today.Lucky me.But I have to pay special homage to the Mother in this post.WELL FUCKING DONE! You are all angels and saints of the highest order.I aspire to be at some point of my life a Brilliant Mum.I just will need to curb the cob throwing discipinarian tendencies though.

Presence and Radiance

As alot of you know 2005 was a challenging year. It was very mountainous and sometimes I didnt feel like I was going to summit.
November saw me summit and start making my way down to base camp. Back to safety and back to the warmth.Summiting was as I guess it can be,an achievement.The coming together of so many things.Alot of hard work.Alot of emotional investment.At times I thought I didnt have the energy to get there.It would have been easier to lie down and just let the winds of everything around consume me.I made it though and feel that I left behind a piece of myself up there on my analogical mountain.As I said I am at base camp now and ready to start on a new adventure witht he experience of the last tucked in my knapsack of experience.
Its a valuable experience when you suffer.I know many that will avoid it.Not feeling brave enough to conquer that which they fear the most,but suffering is a way to your self.It is only through suffering that we truly can understand ourselves,can feel the boundaries of our being and reach out further and gain real acheivment for that which we have done.
So with this in my mind I went searching for a little enlightenment on the core of relationship. I have been tangling through these questions for some years now.What are they ?How are they supposed to be? When are they right? When are they not? When is it time to discard the relationship because it has reached its sell by date? When is enough ,enough? Some might say if you truly love enough is never.You stick together ,work things out .Value what life is showing you together as 2 beings tripping along and embrace what gifts you have together.
But someone said something to me while I was away that touched me more than any formula that I have encountered to date.

Presence and Radiance

The woman needs presence
The male needs radiance

Without one the other cannot exist .

I discovered that I lacked presence in my life and therefore found it hard to radiate and vice versa.Its a chicken an egg situation. This made alot of sense to me. So I am seeking presence.A someone to BE with me. Not necesarily in person but most definately in spirit.
What also occured to me is that this doesnt mean relationship outside of oneself but also within,where masculine and feminine both reside.Perhaps I need to be a little more present for my feminine side and allow her to BE too.
So I step into the New Year with a focus and alot of goals feeling cleansed and happy.I have the occasional reoccuring nightmare that I am still working on but asides from that the future is now for my reinvention!

Ah the beauty of fiddling!

 

This is my interpretation of last night and the view from the Botanicals! Me thinks its pretty! 

Red sky at night

 

Melbourne is a green city! Its beautiful!
Yesterday I went out with some friends to the botanical gardens for a picnic.This was the sunset. It was a 9pm sunset! I love that there is so much daylight and so much time to enjoy the beauty of it here.Lots of green soft grass to plonk your feet into,roll around in and drink fine wine on picnic blankets with!
Walking to the Botanical Gardens was so lovely.I passed 2 other parks and walked along the Yarra River! Oh its expansive and quite quite different from cement Jungle of Tokyo.Think I am going to like it here