It cant be......

Holy craperoooooooo............I just looked at my blog and realised it had been 6 months since my last post.Bless me father for I have sinned.
Where did the time go??? I feel like I have entered Dr whos tardis and now here I am thinking to myself what happened while I was flip flopping around up here in my head,which is where I spend most of my time these days.
To top it all off I find out Miss Sins love has had TB and Arumanda is in gay pareeh.these are only 2 of the people that I like to watch as they progres along in life..........Im not sure that anyone is even reading this...........you may all think I have gone, disappeared into magical head land never to return from the ocean of acupuncture points and disease processes.
No I am here.......
Just about
Just finished a round of very intense exams and now am about to head into winter school.I have finally made it into clinics and am practising on the general public.I am almost there ! Another year and you can call me Dr.
I have 2 jobs that nearly make up full time hours and a full time degree.Oh its hard but I just do it and find very little time for anything else in my life! Nothing of import to impart.........unless of course I find a creative way of imparting all of this knowledge that I am accumulating up here in my ever expanding brain.....
Let me think on that one.
For the most part I am well and happy but self absorbed,so apologies........I will try harder.

Same same but different.........

This happened last year..........something in the stars?........a new year clean out? ..........or just coincidence???
I quit the job I have been in for 2 years.I found another one the same day! Hooray! A very chilled place with great people and much more my thing!At long last I am appreciated.It was a healthy decision.A similar thing happened last year where I lost my job around the same time.Odd.
Benji puss is sick.He has skin cancer on his nose.Its treatable,but hes in discomfort and thats just no fun for the little guy...its going to cost me a fortune.Same thing happened at the same time last year.......he got sick and cost me a fortune?!
What is going on???

Dating games

So Im dating.
After seattle boy I decided it was time to dust off the cobwebs and get myself out there and noticed.
Study can lessen a little but this girl needs to go get some loving.
Ive never really "Dated" before.Ive always just met someone hooked up and so the story goes and here I am several long term relationships later.........nothing wrong with that.Its just the way it goes.Serial monogamist.But things are different now.I want to do some window shopping and try on a few different outfits before I make a purchase.
So there was singles party boy- Kiwi,very keen,wanted to monoploise me,bombarded me with texts and affirmations of how cool I was.Not interested.
The there was British boy- nice guy,wanted to talk about the Uk alot.I left there a long time and all the talk of it made me feel terribly depressed.Again texts and affirmations of desire.Not interested
Next was Media boy-He was cute.We talked alot about travelling,told me that if I saw any of his friends not to mention we met online.......wierd.Its such a viable way of meeting people these days.Again not interested.Told him so and I dont think he was that into me either so all cool.
Then we had psycho boy- Child psycologist,eyes like a vampire,looked nothing like his pic and scared the hell out of me.i think it was when his eyes followed the only people with kids out of the restaurant that I thought NO youre just ot right.The mention of a little walk after dinner also freaked me out.........would I like to see him again???? No.No messing just a plain straight no.He can handle it no freudian analysis there.
Next up is who I call second chance boy- Went on a date .He analysed the hell out of me and incorrectly.Found myself just wanting to go home and hide under the duvet.Emailed him the next day to say sorry no chemistry,to which he replied that he really thought I shoudl give him a second chance.........hmmmmmmm.........No.another reply....thats a shame please reconsider?I think to myself that this guy is brave so accept another date.
Now for the best one- Sydney boy-told him in no uncertain terms that hes in sydney and Im in melbourne.No harm talking he responds.Okay.2 months later after alot of talking and instant messaging we meet.Have a great weekend.Lots of chemistry,lots of fun.I like him.He lives in Sydney.Go figure.He is also still in love with ex girlfriend.Not willing to go there.Accuses me of falling in love with him and not to go there.....okay buddy unstick the tickets.I like you but it was just a weekend.Would do it again but feel slightly cheated.
Oh and here comes second chance boy again-this date was alot more relaxed,we had fun,not sue about the chemistry,but we can be friends and you can never have enough of those.........he wants to take me out to a fabulous italian ...okay accept date 3...which is to be continued.
And so the games continue...........and Im still dating..........

remember me?

Hey there everyone!


Remember me!?
You have a few guesses to guess where Ive been but most of you will know that it has been that time of year where head goes down, bum goes up and the world ceases to exist unless you can find it in a text book or Uni notes.........
Its over.......I have 3 glorious months of no Uni and time to get a life!
Exams were a different experience for me this semester...I would still use adjectives such as "stressful" "painful" and "draining" but I seem to have reached a stage where instead of trying to get High Distinctions or distinctions,I am just content to pass.The balance needs to be struck and the hair needs to stay on my head! Up until now it has..........touch wood and 500 hail marys.........Im still pretty sure Ive aged 10 years in the last month but nothing that a few good sleeps wont sort out and some TLC.......
So i have some things to blog.alot of things! Lovelife stories,work stories,made up stories..........and then theres Christmas.That kind of crept on me! Finished my exams and i recieved a Christmas card......oh,Christmas,yes! thats happening!
so keep watching folks and hopefully I can catch you up on all my news!

Remains

So.........Its been a wierd couple of months.Extreme highs followed by what I first percieved to be an extreme low! You know the kind.Hard to get out of bed,feel like a sack of potatoes,no one loves me,end of the garden ,worm eating and general beating up on oneself.
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!

Reality check..........
1. I made myself vulnerable.What this really means is I have been open and honest with my feelings and who I am! I love that!

2.I am lonely.What this really means is that I am so focused on my dreams and goals that I havent made time for anything else in my life......I can work on that!

3.I am not worthy.eh hem.I ended it because I believed I am worth more than what I was recieveing and the result was the revealtion that I was right!

4.I miss intimacy-kind of the same as the above and again something I am working on.Its not a bad thing to miss intimacy but I can seek it in all kinds of ways.Self,friends,pets and spirit.

5.I will never find what I am looking for.Yes I will.I just need to be patient.It is my right to be happy and fufilled.

So those are a few things I wrangled with this week.I have worked through them all and come out on top.I am moving forward positively.I am radiant even.
This girl will not be beat,or pulled down by lifes little upsets! She will always work through them and seek the positive and then seek to action them.
It all feel rather good!

GOODBYES

The dream,and it seems it was just a dream,is dashed.I think I had a lucky escape.




"Men like
women who don't color their hair, don't wear lots of
make up and who are comfortable with what God gave
them. This is who I am going to marry. Its what all
men truly seek in a woman.

The world is not as it once was. Women have forgotten
how to be women. They have forgotten how to be able to
raise a family and run a house. They no longer know
how to iron a simple shirt, to sew a ripped hem, or
bake a cake on Sunday afternoon. They no longer know
how to hang up laundry on a washing line... the simple
thing in life that are so over looked, yet so
important. To listen to a husband after a long days
work and run him a bath and bring him a cup of tea or
a glass of wine before dinner."

I have read this many times.I am still reeling at the fact that I didnt pick any of this up.
I am also truly disappointed that I now have to go back to the drawing board and start the search again........hell.........I do pick them.......but what a lucky escape.Is this truly what a man wants????

He rose again!!!

And after the 3rd day he rose again!
Only after a few days of disposing of the old and rather dearly departed bunny rabbit,(actually its still sitting in my draw while I decide exactly HOW TO dispose of it in a house where I live with my aunt,uncle and 2 kids........suggestions kindly welcome)I came home today to find a parcel on my bed!I love suprises! Especially parcel suprises but not in my wildest dreams did I anticipate that a VERY VERY KIND benefactor would take pity on my loss and understand the financial strife of a student and send me a BRAND NEW shiny rabbit!!!!!!!!It buzzes and lights and twirls and even has a cute bunny rabbit face!LUCKY LUCKY ME!!!!Give it and me some more time and it might even have other tricks up its sleeve!..........and so my dearest readers,I thank you for your sympathy at what was a very sad time,but as fickle as I am, old has been replaced with new and I am no longer grieving but grooving!
THANK YOU KIND BENEFACTOR

The 5 stages of grief.

Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening." As she pressed the "on" button of her Rabbit and the red light didnt flicker a flicker or make a peep of a noise.

Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible") In this case the duracell batteries that leaked all over the inside of the battery compartment that have now casued my beloved to die

Bargaining: "Just let me live to see it buzz and twirl one more time." Surely if I clean it out replace the batteries it will work again...........Please I will do anything if you just make the light light and the buzz,buzz.

Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?I have no money to buy a new one,it was the only thing that kept me sane" Being a student sucks.Do I now have to down grade to a pocket version.?

Acceptance: "It's going to be OK." Ill put some money away each week until I can afford to buy a new one .I will use my hairbrush or any penis shaped object! Its okay,Im creative.Fuck it!

A little more.............

Okay girls...I hear what you are saying. But bear with me for a while!
We met some 5 years ago.In thailand.Just before I went to Tokyo.It was a sliding door moment.I was strongly attracted to him but was heading to Tokyo to be with "he who must not be named".I remained faithful,but was curious about this man.He asked me to come with him when he left the island I was staying on(less than 24 hours after we met)..........I said no and as I watched him leave I was kicking myself that I had not followed this up.He sayed in touch with me and would call me frequently in Tokyo........we lost touch when he got shitty with me for staying with "he who must not be named" when it was obvious that I was allowing myself to be completely disrespected.But I was blinded by love and carried along.........we all know that story anyways and its past and gone.
Okay so long story short we were in and out of touch for some time and recently back in touch.When he doscovered I was in Oz and single and my spirit willing he hopped on a flight and whisked me away to the whitsundays.
It was a beautiful week and much needed on both our parts.We had great fun and lots of cocktails!
He has met all my family and friends here.He is now on a trip to the U.K and is going down to see the folks.Nothing seems to phase him.He seems to know what he wants.
I cant give you anymore than that girls..........we are now in a position where he lives in Seattle and I in Melbourne.I am just taking it one day at a time.If it is then it is and if it isnt it isnt and we shall see what the passage of time brings.Way too many dissppointmets in my life romantically to allow myself to abandon myself completely.

Fairy tales???

I have just got back from being in Queensland for a week.Lots of sunshine and relaxation.You may ask why I was off doing this kind of thing when I should have been working and studying hard!
Well it had to do with a man.Someone that has pursued me off and on for 5 years.We finally got it together and he travelled 9 thousand miles from seattle to melbourne and whisked me away to sunny lands so that we could spend some good time together!
Sounds romantic huh??? It was. Where to from now???? Plans of seattle and other stuff on the horizon.........who knows.Just watch this space.